


We Could Turn The World To Gold

by knifelesbian



Series: A Dream That I Can Call My Own [1]
Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Karolina Dean/Nico Minoru - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sort Of, chase is mollys brother i will fight, chase stein/gertrude yorkes - Freeform, guns tw, its like if i wrote season 2 and the parents never showed up on screen lol, like WAY slower than usual for me, now...............all my dumb teasers on tumblr will make sense, season two prediction fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 10:22:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 53,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13809219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knifelesbian/pseuds/knifelesbian
Summary: A family can be many things. It can be nuclear, two parents, two children. It can be a grandmother trying her best to raise her daughter's son. It can be two fathers and their long awaited adopted child. It can be a sister working two jobs to support her younger brother.Or it can be a fourteen year old with eyes like a lion's and super-strength, a glowing lesbian, her Wiccan sort-of girlfriend, a jock with an IQ of 173 that still doesn't know what he's doing, a girl who's got three feet thick concrete walls up (and also purple hair), her support dinosaur that does what she says no questions asked, and their de-facto leader, a boy who's just as scared as the rest of them but can't- won't- show it.And maybe their situation isn't the best. They're on the run from the cops, a cult, and a murderous, glowing, Robbie Rotten knock-off, plus they're sleeping out of a stolen van. But they're a family, even if they're a weird one, and that's what matters.





	1. CHAPTER ONE

**Author's Note:**

> warnings for gratuitous fluff and use of the found family trope :D

 

A family can be many things. It can be nuclear, two parents, two children. It can be a grandmother trying her best to raise her daughter's son. It can be two fathers and their long awaited adopted child. It can be a sister working two jobs to support her younger brother.

 

Or it can be a fourteen year old with eyes like a lion's and super-strength, a glowing lesbian, her Wiccan sort-of girlfriend, a jock with an IQ of 173 that still doesn't know what he's doing, a girl who's got three feet thick concrete walls up (and also purple hair), her support dinosaur that does what she says no questions asked, and their de-facto leader, a boy who's just as scared as the rest of them but can't- won't- show it.

 

And maybe their situation isn't the best. They're on the run from the cops, a cult, and a murderous, glowing, Robbie Rotten knock-off, plus they're sleeping out of a stolen van. But they're a family, even if they're a weird one, and that's what matters.

 

__________

 

Alex is kind of afraid he's going to fall asleep at the wheel. He's been driving for three hours now, which during the day might be less of a problem, but it's 1AM and he kind of wants to just turn off the highway and park in the middle of the forest that lines the road. He wonders how mad Nico would be if he did that. Nico is often mad at him, lately. And it's not that he doesn't think it's warranted, because he thinks he understands, now. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

 

They've only been officially on the run two days past a week, driving across California, stopping for a few days, then getting on the move again. It's tiresome, but what the fuck are they supposed to do? Get a room in a motel? They'd be arrested by morning. And it's not like they can leave the state, because they'll get stopped at the border and caught, so all they've been doing is driving around California looking for a permanent place to say. Which they can't find. So yeah, running away has not been fun. 

 

"Do you want to switch off, now?" Gert asks from where she's sitting in the passenger seat. He'd been ninety percent sure she was asleep, but of course he was wrong. Alex feels like he is often wrong, these days.

 

"I mean, I guess? I've kind of been contemplating pulling off the road and parking in the woods if I can manage it. We've been driving all day, we need to stop. I need to stop, I  can't keep doing this." It's hushed, because they don't want to wake up everyone sleeping in the back, but his voice is determined. They need to stop.

 

"Which is why I should drive." God, even her voice sounds tired.

 

"Gert, you haven't _slept._ Like, at all. I'm sorry, but I don't trust you behind the wheel." Alex's voice starts to get a little louder involuntarily.

 

"How is it my fault that I can't sleep? And besides, I'm the best driver here, I can handle a little sleep deprivation." Oh no, she's pissed. An angry Gert is not a quiet Gert, he needs to defuse this.

 

"Listen, usually I trust your driving capabilities, I do. But you need to _sleep._ Yesterday Karolina bumped into you and you fell over, you can't keep doing this to yourself." If Alex wanted to get his throat slit at the wheel, he would tell her to go cuddle up with Chase, because that first night when they were curled up together was the only night Alex has seen her get any sleep since they went on the run in the first place. But he, weirdly enough, doesn't want to die by the hands of a sleep deprived seventeen year old, so he doesn't say anything.

 

"I........you know what, you're right, we should park. I need to stretch my legs and we're in dire need of a food run." Crisis averted, sort of. He's going to get Gert to talk about this at some point, but it seems like it won't be tonight.

 

If Alex were to guess on what's been keeping her up, he would say nightmares. That's what keeps _him_ up at night. Images flitting through his head and changing just as quickly. His father with a gun in his hands. _Bam._ Shooting Andre. _Bam_. Destiny, screaming for her life. _Bam._ The calm look on his mother's face as she watched a child die, once every year for fifteen years. _Bam._ But there's got to be something else for Gert, too, because no nightmare can cause such a complete lack of sleep. He'd know. But he doesn't ask Gert about it, at least not right now, because it's late, and she so clearly doesn't want to talk about it. It worries him, though. He's scared one of these days a strong wind is going to blow and it will knock her over.

 

The road is completely empty, so he turns the van to a trail that looks sort of big enough to drive through. He drives until he reaches a big enough space for the car and a dinosaur, then parks.

 

He conks out as soon as he pulls the keys out of the ignition. They were honestly so, so, lucky that the guy they stole this van from was never taught theft prevention, he had the keys still in the ignition and everything when the six of them plus Old Lace had jumped in the car and started burning rubber. They've been lucky about a lot of things, lately, like the fact that the van was even there to steal at all, or that it seems to hold Old Lace, even if she sometimes doesn't ride in it with them. When they're on the highway she usually just follows close behind in the nearby forest. Alex is convinced that's the only reason Gert deigns to sit in the front with him, so she can watch her pet dinosaur run at top speed to keep up with the van. Also, he's pretty sure she's avoiding Chase. Whenever he drives, you couldn't pay her to sit up front.

 

Alex really, really wishes he knew what the fuck happened the night they ran away that makes them avoid each other like the plague. He's going to have to send them off alone somewhere soon, if only so they talk to each other.

 

When he wakes up the next morning, it's to the sound of arguing.

 

"Well, maybe if you knew what the fuck you were doing, this wouldn't have happened!" Oh, that's Gert. Sleep deprived, angry Gert. This can't be good.

 

_"Me_ not know what the fuck I'm doing?" Oh, hell no. Why in the name of all that is good in the world did Chase start a fight with her right now? "Gert, you couldn't even set it up in the first place, Karolina had to help you-"

 

"OKAY!" Alex yells, slamming open the door of the van. "The two of you, stop," He stands between them, holding out his arms. He quickly finds the source of the problem: The camp shower they'd found in the van is on the ground, water seeping out of it. It must be later than he thought it was. "I get that the two of you have some serious unresolved sexual tension going on right now, but if you need an outlet go make out in the woods or something instead of yelling your fucking heads off! Okay?"

 

They both look at him wide eyed in surprise for a second, then Gert seems to come to her senses. She pushes past the two of them with a growl, bumping into Chase as she storms past. He stares after her with a pining look, then sighs.

 

Chase turns to him, then says, "I'm sorry, Wilder."

 

Nico, who had previously been sleeping, slides open the back door of the van to say, "You better be, you buff _asshole._ I was trying to sleep."

 

"Sorry to disturb you from your nap, Sleeping Beauty, but it is the middle of the day. Wilder only got a free pass because he was up late driving." Nico sticks her tongue out at the both of them and slams the door shut again.

 

Alex sighs. "if I get a free pass, Gert should get one too, I knocked out right after parking, but I'm pretty sure she was up until sunrise. Has she slept at all?" He stares after where she fled into the woods with concern.

 

"She still isn't sleeping?"

 

"Would you if you were running away from the cops and your cultist parents without your anxiety meds?" Out of everything Alex wishes they had, that's the first on the list. Well, actually, a permanent place to stay is first. But Gert's medication is a very close second.

 

"Gert doesn't have her meds?" Chase sounds surprised and pissed at the same time. Alex had felt the same way when Gert told him (three nights ago while everyone was asleep, because it seems she can't confess anything at any other time), so he doesn't blame Chase.

 

"You know, I'm not surprised she didn't tell you, you guys have barely said one nice word to each other since that first night. What the fuck happened right before we ran away that made you guys so-"

 

"Fight prone?"

 

Alex gives him a look. "I was going to say sexually charged whenever you so much make eye contact, but yeah, 'fight prone' works too." Chase chokes on air, and Alex hits him hard on the back.

 

"We are not _sexually charged_ , why does everyone keep saying that?" he's still kind of coughing. "I'm gonna go find Karolina and Molly, they said they were going to go do yoga on the cliff-side." And then he stomps off in the opposite direction that Gert did.

 

"Since when is there a _cliff-side?"_ Alex runs after him, trying to catch up.

 

~~~~~

 

It figures that Nico is the one that has to clean up the mess- the one on the ground and the purple haired one who ran off into the forest to cry.

 

When her grandmother was still alive, she used to say, "behind every great man is a woman doing all the work". And while it's an outdated saying and she definitely wouldn't call him a 'great man',  the way Alex leaves things half finished for her to pick up the slack on is making her start to agree with it. She picks up the camp shower and jumps up a couple times until she gets it hooked back on the branch. Karolina should be doing this for her, but of course her girlfriend- are they girlfriends? They haven't talked about it, even though she knows they should. But she really likes her, and they've kissed seven times, now (Nico might be keeping count)- is off doing yoga with Molly.

 

She goes to look for Gert, and finds her leaning against a tree, staring at something that Nico cannot see. She sits down next to her, and takes her hand. When they were children, Gert had always been the most tactile, giving hugs out like it was nothing and always hand in hand with someone. That stopped as they grew older, but Nico knows she still likes the contact.

 

"Are you gonna be okay?"

 

Gert rests her head on Nico's shoulder in exhaustion. "I haven't slept since we left, I fucked up with the boy I like, and I can't stop thinking about every worst case scenario out there. So no, I don't think so."

 

"Tell me about them."

 

"What?" Gert looks up at her in confusion.  
  
"Your worst case scenarios. Tell me about them. Maybe it will help you to say them out loud."

 

Gert wipes at her eyes, then begins, "Okay. Okay, so first of all I'm worried about the cops. What happens next time we go on a food run and we get recognized? And second of all I'm worried about Molly, because she's not even fifteen yet and she has to deal with murderers and cultists and men that glow, and what happens when we're adults and she's still dealing with that? She's already been through enough, and this too? And she's started to rely on me even more, now, which is fine because she's my sister and I love her, but sometimes it's a lot of pressure, you know? And don't even get me started on Chase, that's a whole other set of worries that I don't even want to get into. Like, how do you even attempt a relationship in our situation? And my worst worry is the fear that someone will get hurt, and we won't be able to fucking do anything about it because we're _criminals_ now and-"

 

"Woah, hey, come here," She pulls Gert into a hug as tears start slipping down her face. Gert holds on tightly, like the world will end if she lets go. Nico wonders how long it's been since either of them have been hugged like this.

 

"I'm so _tired_ , Nico." She rubs her hand up and down Gert's back to calm her.

 

"Do you think if you went back to the van you could try to get some sleep?"

 

She sniffles. "Maybe? Worth a shot, I guess. I _so_ miss relying on medication for this kind of thing, it was so much easier."

 

Nico helps her back to the van with her arm over her shoulder, and as Gert lays down, she spreads a blanket over her.

 

"Try to get some sleep, and when you wake up, we can think of some solutions for your worries."

 

Gert, miraculously, actually sleeps through the day, and, even more miraculously, Nico doesn't have to put out any more fires.

 

When it's time for the rest of them to pile in the van to sleep, she makes Chase be the one to put out the campfire, and herds everyone into the van quickly, trying to see if this will actually work. Molly, Karolina, and Alex catch on quickly, and while it's hard to convince a prehistoric dinosaur to do what Nico wants, she manages.

 

Chase steps into the van, and stops as he sees where everyone else is sleeping. "You guys are assholes," he says as he sits down in the only available spot, right next to Gert.

 

_"You're welcome,_ Chase, for setting this up. Now go to sleep." He lies down, and from the corner of her eye Nico sees Gert turn to him in sleep, resting her head on his shoulder. Chase smiles down at her, catches Nico watching, and attempts to look intimidating with a love sick grin across his face. It doesn't work.

 

Nico turns back to Karolina and wraps her arm around her. She doesn't know how she's ever managed to sleep without her, it feels so natural now. She also doesn't know how Alex will react when he eventually pulls his head out of his ass and realizes her and Karolina are together, but that's for another day.

 

The next morning, Chase and herself are the first ones up. Nico walks a little ways away from where Chase is sitting at the campfire, heating up a burrito stuck on a stick over the flame. Nutritional variety really isn't the top priority for them anymore, if it wasn't obvious.

 

The van door slides open, and Gert jumps out, stretching her arms mid-yawn. Nico watches plop down next to Chase and tell him good morning. She's pretty sure Gert doesn't see her.

 

"Good morning," Chase says, "Finally got some sleep, huh?"

 

Gert sighs. "Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday."

 

Nico isn't eavesdropping, except she's totally eavesdropping. She wants to know how this goes, okay?

 

"No, it's okay. I get it. I'm sorry I yelled back, I knew you were tired." He pats her hand, seems to realize what he's doing and pulls away just as quickly. Poor Chase.

 

"Chase...." Gert starts, "I know it's partly because I haven't been sleeping, but we've been fighting _a lot._ Like, an unhealthy amount. And we're friends, right?"  
  
"Yeah. Friends." Oh, poor, poor Chase. Poor Gert, too, actually. Nico knows she's only saying 'friends' because she thinks that's what Chase wants. Which is double stupid, because Chase is only backing off because he thinks that's what _she_ wants.

 

"So, truce?" Gert holds out her arms for a hug.

 

Chase wraps his arms around her, and says, muffled from his face in her shoulder, "Truce."

 

_Dumbasses._

 

~~~~~

 

Karolina loves mornings. Or she used to, anyways.

 

Before they ran away, as soon as she woke up every morning she did her yoga, put on her meticulously planned outfit made to look just thrown on, and cook a hearty breakfast (eggs and toast, because it's literally the only food she can make) that only she would eat.

 

Now, she shares gas station burritos and chili with five other teenagers and hasn't changed clothes in two days. But she still has her yoga, so at least she can tell herself she's making it work.

 

Once she'd woken up- without Nico, which was weird, but she saw her talking about something with Gert so it's fine, Nico will tell her about it later- she heads to the cliff-side to do her yoga.

 

She starts with downward dog, then switches to the warrior pose. The view from here really is beautiful, trees for miles and the sun high in the sky. The cliff is made of smooth rock and it looks down on the glittering river not far below. Now that everyone is awake, she's going to try and convince the group to go swimming.

 

She stays out on the cliff-side for another half hour, then turns back to their makeshift campsite. She finds Alex, Molly, and Chase playing a game of spoons with a pile of cracked crayons, and Nico and Gert sitting in front of the fire with Old Lace spread out beside them, writing on a scrap sheet of paper. Because she doesn't want her hand slapped off, she goes to sit with the girls.

 

"Whatcha writin'?" She rests her chin on Nico shoulder as she attempts to read what's on the page. She says 'attempts' because Nico writes in cursive, and Karolina is only just learning how to read it properly.

 

"Gert has some worries that we're trying to work through. Yo, jockstrap!"

 

"Don't call me that, but what?"

 

"You can grow a beard, right?"

 

"Takes a few days, but yeah- EAT SHIT WILDER!" there's a loud slamming noise as he scrambles to get a crayon.

 

"Okay, so Chase is dealt with. Beard, duster, and my lip ring and he looks like a completely different person. Question is, how are you going to deal with your attraction to The Scruff?" Nico teases Gert, and gets an elbow in the stomach for it.

 

"Shut _up,_ Nico."

 

"What, I'm right, aren't I? Do you remember earlier in the year when Chase got to school late because of a lacrosse trip and he had a heavy five o'clock shadow going on and you didn't look at anything else the entire day? Because _I_ remember." Gert glares at her, and Karolina decides to stop this fight before it starts.

 

"Oh, you guys are dealing with disguises? What's mine?" Karolina loves playing dress-up. Halloween used to be her favourite holiday, and she'd go all out every year. One year she dressed up as Dorothy from Wizard of Oz, and she _hand-encrusted_ the ruby shoes. It took her weeks. That costume alone should've been at least a _hint_ for the whole lesbian thing, like, 'Over The Rainbow'? Seriously? It was _right_ there.

 

"Uh, you don't have one. Babe, your pretty face is plastered all over L.A. and you were in Vanity Fair, you'll get recognized. Molly can't go either, Amber Alerts and all, so....." She continues on about Alex's disguise, but Karolina stopped paying attention after _'babe, your pretty face-'._ Her face starts to get hot, and she's glad she has her bracelet on right now, because she would 100% be glowing if she didn't.

 

"Neeks, I think you broke her. Karoliiina," Gert sing-songs, waving her hand in front of her face. Karolina doesn't react. She can't. _Babe, your pretty face-_

 

She blinks hard, one, two, three, then says, "Sorry, you just, um, you called me babe."

 

"Was that not.....okay?" Nico's voice is quiet, like she's afraid that Karolina would ever refuse to be called a pet name by the girl she likes. Preposterous, really.

 

"No, I....I liked it." Karolina can hear the candy floss sweetness of her voice, but she doesn't care, especially when Nico smiles brightly, making Karolina's heart feel like it's going to explode.

 

Nico takes her hand and squeezes it, then lets go. Karolina mourns the loss. "So, you're next, Gert, what are we doing for you?"

 

Gert, who'd been scribbling on the paper, looks up. "That green wig, I'll borrow some of your makeup, and I'll take off my glasses. Speaking of makeup, you can't wear yours on trips, it makes you too recognizable." Molly, Alex, and Chase yelling in the background drowns out Nico's whine. She drops her head on Karolina's shoulder, and she tries her best to keep her cool.

 

"Guys, stop being so loud, I can't hear myself think!" Gert says.

 

"It's part of the game, Gert, we can't stop now- oh, crap!" Molly yells back, and there's another loud slamming noise. Molly during the day has been acting fine, mostly. It's during the night that she's been having problems. Karolina knows she has nightmares, but she hasn't wanted to talk about them yet. Karolina hopes that, in time, she'll be able to talk to the group about it.

 

"So we've covered that, now, right? Disguises are done?" Nico asks Gert, who nods. "Okay, so that leaves injuries, because I already talked to you about Molly and you won't listen to me about Chase."

 

"Uh, I did listen, I just don't believe you."

 

"What'd you tell her?"

 

"That Chase really likes her and the two of them are being stupid, but _somebody_ had the gall to call _me_ delusional, so we're not going to talk about that right now."

 

"I'm just _saying_ that you don't know for sure-"

 

"Nope. You won't listen, so we're done talking about it, at least for now. So, in the van I found a map of every Walmart in California- which was so weird, who the fuck was this guy? And there's one about forty miles away from here. You, Chase, and I can go in a couple days, and we'll pick up a first aid kit, and medicine,  and a bunch of other stuff we need because we don't have anything right now, honestly, I don't care if Alex says it's a bad idea, if I have to go one more day without a decent meal I'm going to get Old Lace to eat me." At the sound of her name, Old Lace wakes up from her nap and rests her head in Gert's lap. Almost automatically, she starts stroking the dinosaur's head.

 

"Agreed, but what does other stuff entail, hm? I'm gonna go make a list, you guys can stay here if you want."

 

Her and Nico end up getting kind of sucked into each other after that, talking (flirting) about everything and nothing while Gert goes to sit with the rest of them, plopping down next to Chase with a pen and the piece of paper. Karolina thinks it would be a good idea to buy her a notebook.

 

She tells a joke, and Nico smiles so brightly that she just has to lean in and kiss her. It's soft, and sweet, and everything Karolina has ever wanted.

 

~~~~~

 

"What are you writing?" Chase says quietly, leaning over her shoulder to read what's on the page. He's dropped his cards, and Molly and Alex have started a game of crazy eights without him. Gert is probably going to have to teach the group bitch and onetwentys soon, none of them know any decent card games.  
 

"Me, you, and Nico are going to Walmart in a couple days to pick up some things," Gert is whispering, too, but she doesn't know why, "Like, you know, basically everything we actually need because Alex hasn't let us go yet, but Nico's decided we're going to overrule him. Also you need to start on that beard. You're too noticeably handsome clean-shaven." Oh, fuck. She said that out loud, didn't she?

 

"You think I'm handsome?"

 

Well, better turn this into sarcasm or she's screwed!

 

"Chase," she lowers her voice even more as she turns to face him, making sure to use a joking tone so he doesn't think she's legit mad at him, "I literally had sex with you. Do you think I-" she gets interrupted by Alex gasping dramatically, and her first thought is, _oh no, we've been discovered, get the L-pills!_ Her second thought is that she's been watching too many James Bond movies.

 

But then she turns around and sees Nico and Karolina smiling at each other, clearly having just pulled back from a kiss, and says, "Oh, you didn't know."

 

"No, uh, I didn't. I didn't even know it was a _thing to know,_ but whatever, thanks, guys, for telling me. I'm just gonna......" He gets up and walks in the direction of the cliff-side.

 

"Are you gonna go after him or are we letting him stew?" Molly asks, tugging on the tassels of her hat. She's been doing that a lot, lately, and Gert is convinced it's become a nervous habit for her. Gert is, no matter how Nico tries to help, perpetually worried about her sister. She knows Molly loves to _act_ like she's fine, because, at least Gert thinks this is her reasoning, she doesn't want to be a big bother to the rest of the group. She's trying her best to be positive. But Gert has been awake every night since they left, barring last night, and she knows Molly tosses and turns like no tomorrow.

 

"I'm gonna go after him, duh. Don't let the lovebirds notice, I don't want a blow up." She puts her hand on Chase's shoulder to help herself stand, then goes off in Alex's direction.

 

She doesn't know why she hasn't talked to Chase about what happened. She should, probably. But she knows it going to stress her out so much, and she can't handle a complicated conversation like that without her meds, she just can't. She hasn't been able to handle a lot of things properly without her meds, actually, which isn't great considering the bottle is sitting on her nightstand at home, three hours away and in the same house as her cultist parents.

 

She finds Alex lying down face up, looking up at the cloudy sky with his hands behind his head. Gert lies down next to him, mirroring his position.

 

"Hi." She says carefully.

 

"So, I'm not going to be an asshole about it, because I know that you would push me off this cliff or, at the very least, dump me on the street while I slept, but I am definitely upset. Not because of the whole 'two girls' thing, because, again, I'm not an asshole, but Nico was basically my girlfriend. And now she's seeing someone else. Right after we broke up. So I'm just wondering why nobody fucking told me, like, when did this happen? We just broke up like, two weeks ago. And now........" He goes quiet.

 

"Are you done?" She turns to face him, supporting herself with her elbow so she can look down at him. He nods.

 

"Okay, so, the reason no one told you is because it's their business, not mine or Chase's, because Molly didn't even know. And yes, you're allowed to be upset. But you also need to understand that she was your girlfriend, and now she's not. She's moved on. I don't know what happened between you guys that made her so upset with you, and you don't have to tell me, but she has moved on. And I'm not saying you need to too, not right away. But make your best effort, because having feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way sucks, I'd know. And if you want to talk to her about Karolina, do it as a friend, not as a jealous ex. It won't go over well." Gert says all this softly, in what Molly calls her 'advice voice.'

 

Alex smiles a little sadly, and says, "That's really good advice, Gert. I'll, uh, I'll keep that in mind."

 

"Do you want me to stay here, or do you want to be alone?"

 

"Would you stay here for a bit, actually? Just like, talk to me about something? I kind of want something to fill the air right now."

 

Gert lies back down next to him, and starts chatting. "So in a couple days, Nico, Chase, and I are going to Walmart. There's one forty miles from here, don't ask me how I know, and we've got disguises set up. Chase is finally going to stop using that cheap razor he bought at the gas station and grow out some scruff for his disguise, plus that giant duster that Molly loves so much. That jacket is like our version of the jeans from the sisterhood of the traveling pants, it fits literally everyone in the group. I'm going to wear that green wig and some of Nico's goth makeup, and she's not going to wear _any_ makeup, which she's kind of pissed about so don't say anything about it to her. But it's necessary, right? Every up to date picture of her that they'd use on the news has the makeup. Fuck, I still can't believe they framed us for Destiny. That's such bullshit, we literally can't go anywhere now without any precautions. Do you have anything specific you want? Because I'm making a list-"

 

One fat raindrop splashes on her forehead, and then a million follow it. Shit.

 

They get up quickly, but Gert is wearing a pair of cheap flip-flops that, as soon as they start running back to the van, snap, because of course. Alex is already way ahead of her as she tries to fix her shoe in the pouring rain. She finally pushes it back into place, and starts sprinting in the direction of the van. She gets ten feet from it when she slips in mud and falls to the ground. She curses and pulls herself up, limping now because _ow, why the fuck is this happening to her right now_ , and carefully walks to the van, sliding open the door and jumping in.

 

She sits in the only available spot next to Chase and starts squeezing water out of her hair, moving her ankle side to side to see how much it hurts. The answer: a lot.

 

She sucks in a breath, and Chase asks, "What happened?"

 

"Oh, you know, just completely fucked over my ankle slipping in the rain, no biggie." Molly, who's on the other side of her, wraps an arm around her.

 

"Do we have stuff for that? We must have picked up painkillers or Tylenol at some point-" Gert puts a hand on Chase's arm to stop him. After her, she's pretty sure Chase is the biggest worrier of the group. He needs to be reassured, or he might do something stupid.

 

"No, Chase, like I told you before," she says softly. The others are conveniently looking away from them right now. "We don't have much of anything. That's why we need to go to Walmart? So we can get this kind of stuff? It's not that bad, anyways, you don't have to worry."

 

"Gert, I'm _always_ going to worry about you." His eyes are soft and serious, and she can't force herself to break eye contact. Her hand is still on his arm.

 

"Oh. Well. Um......." She tears her eyes away from his and jitters her hand down his arm as she pulls away, spurned by Alex clearing his throat.

 

"Here's a blanket, sorry I didn't wait for you, I didn't realize you weren't with me." He scoots over and wraps the blanket around Gert's shoulders, and she pulls it tight around herself and smiles at him.

 

"No, it's okay, you didn't realize. And you're feeling better now, right?" Because that's what is important, here, that Alex and Nico don't have a huge blow-up, that the group doesn't get split down the middle, that they can move past this.

 

"Yeah, much, thanks, Gert." He grins. "So what are we going to do while we wait out the rain, huh? Play cards?"

 

They move to sit in a circle, but Gert wants to finish her list, so she goes to sit by Old Lace. She starts scribbling on the page, trying to write as Old Lace head-butts her arm gently.

 

She thinks she's written down everything they need, maybe, but she rereads it three times to make sure. And than reads it again. And again. Knowing this won't get her anywhere, she folds the paper carefully and puts it in her pocket, then goes to join the group.

 

She plops down in between Molly and Alex and bullies everyone into letting her teach them how to play bitch, which, for someone who just learned how to play, Nico decimates them at.

 

Although, she wonders if it's really Nico's first time playing, because the one who taught Gert how to play bitch in the first place was Amy.

 

They'd gone to the same sleep-away camp one year, Camp Banjo, which, admittedly, was a stupid name for a summer camp, but twelve year old Gert had been _obsessed._ Amy had been a counselor-in-training there, and they'd hung out the whole time, even though Gert knew she had camp friends that she could've been hanging out with, Amy chose to hang out with her, show her the ropes and teach her the intricacies of weird card games and innovative bracelet making. It was the best summer of Gert's life.

 

She didn't go back the next year, choosing instead to go to a three week long Young Minds In Activism conference. And then the year after that, Amy said goodbye on her way out of school and never got to say hello again.

 

Gert remembers the last thing she ever said to her, because she remembers thinking how odd it was. Her and Amy had been walking out of school together, and when she saw her mother's car, Amy had wrapped her arms around Gert, hugging her tight and too long for just a 'see you on Monday' kind of good bye. She'd pulled back, and said, _"you're a really great friend, Gert,"_ then walked away. Gert had thought it was really weird, especially since all they'd been talking about was Nico's crush on Alex. But she'd shrugged it off. She shouldn't have.

 

After Amy..............passed, Gert's mother had told her, "You know, after someone you love dies, there are many ways to try and deal with it. You can feel empty, you can feel sad, you can feel angry. But you should never, ever blame yourself. It leads down a bad path that you can never turn back on."

 

And while she no longer trusts her mother, and has been trying _so hard_ not to love her, either, that sticks with her.

 

They end up playing bitch for _four hours._ Time flies when you're having fun, right?

 

They get sick of the game and Gert goes to sit in the passengers seat to curl up and watch the rain, making sure to watch her ankle because it still really hurts. She better not have sprained it.

 

The van goes kind of quiet after that, everyone either talking very quietly or not really talking at all. Molly is taking a nap with Old Lace.

 

The quiet is kind of ruined, though, when Chase stands and clambers into the drivers seat. She can tell he's trying to be quiet about it, but Chase is not a quiet kind of person. Chase is loud, and bright, and noticeable, sometimes too noticeable.

 

"Hey," he says, smiling at her and then picking up the drivers manual like he hadn't come up here specifically to talk to her. He's fidgeting a little, tapping his fingers and flicking through the pages.

 

"Hiii," Gert says slowly. "What's up?"

 

"Why would something be up?"

 

"Because you came to sit with me, in front, technically alone though I can tell that Karolina is listening to our conversation right now." She doesn't turn to look at Karolina, but she does here a mumbled apology and some shuffling, so she thinks they're good here.

 

"Oh. That. Well, maybe I just like spending time with you." _Weak, give me a real reason._ But she doesn't _say_ that, because even she knows that calling someone you care about weak wouldn't be a good idea.

 

"Nice try. Come on, golden boy, what's troubling you?" Gert rests her chin in her hand and turns to look at him.

 

"Will you guys ever stop with the nicknames?" Chase says, flopping back against the seat. Drama queen.

 

"No," the rest of them say at the same time.

 

"So? What's going on?"

 

"I need to add some things to the list." Huh. She really thought it was going to be something big from the way he was acting. Even his tone is a little serious just to ask for a few things.

 

"Okay, shoot." she sits up and pulls the sheet out of her pocket, smoothing it out and grabbing a pencil off the dashboard.

 

"Well, I think we need more blankets, I know we're in California but it still gets cold. And we should get those sleeping pills you used to use, they'd be good for the group as a whole, what were they called, melatonin?" Gert starts scratching down what he's saying. "We should pick up some Hot-Paws, and we should pick up a bottle of your prescription at the pharmacy." He lists the last one off like its normal, like it's just cereal, or underwear. 

 

"Chase." He makes eye contact with her, which he had been avoiding doing before. Gert tries not to let the perfect hazel colour and long lashes distract her. "We cannot walk into a Walmart pharmacy and get a bottle of my _prescription_ anxiety medication like it's nothing. We need a doctors note, which we can't bullshit, and we'd need an ID, and not a fake one, and since our faces and names are plastered all over the news right now, that's not really an _achoo!_ option." Oh, fuck her, she better not be getting sick from being out in the rain.

 

"Yeah, okay, but isn't there something we could do? Like, there's gotta be sometime in the day your parents are guaranteed not to be home-"

 

"You are not possibly suggesting what I think you're suggesting. You have an IQ of 173, you can't possibly be saying what I think you are." Her voice has gotten dangerously low, even for her, but that is just such an idiotic idea that she can't even begin to think what brought it on as a serious contender for him.

 

"Ugh, Mom and Dad are fighting again and we can't even leave the van." Molly whines, having woken up from her nap specifically to be a jerk.

 

"Shut up, Molly _achoo!_ " Aw, shit.

 

"Woah, are you getting sick?" Chase, almost automatically, presses his hand into her forehead. She's a little woozy, so she leans into it, then realizes what she's doing and grabs his hand to pull it away from her face. But then, because Gert is herself and, no matter what she says to the contrary, just wants Chase touching her all the fucking time, doesn't let go of his hand.

 

"No, I'm not _achoo!_ Chase, we are not sneaking into my murderous parents house to get my medication. End of _achoo!_ discussion." He sighs.

 

"Okay, okay, but you are a little warm. Do you want to go lie down?" _Daaaaaaamn._ Gert knows actual parents who aren't this motherly.

 

"Chase, it's only 8:30."

 

"Yes, but." he squeezes her hand, and he's got that look that he gets sometimes when she catches him looking at her, soft and unbearably fond, and she's done. Gert would follow him to the end of the world if he asked her to with that look in his eyes. "You need to take care of yourself, okay? And if that means going to sleep early then that's what it means." His voice is so soft right now that it's killing her.

 

"O-okay. I'll just, um........." She looks down at their entwined hands, and forces herself to let go.

 

She goes to the back of the van, wrapping a blanket around herself and curling up next to Old Lace. She tries to focus on the sound of the rain pounding on the roof instead of Nico and Karolina's giggles, and falls asleep.

 

_Amy leads her by the hand in an endless green meadow. They're both wearing flowy white robes, and Gert recognizes the style but can't place where from. Amy is giggling, urging her forward to a patch of flowers and pulling her down to the ground. She pulls roughly at pure white lilies, and Gert tries to tell her to be careful but she won't listen. She keeps pulling and pulling, and finally they come out of the ground, dirt flying. She looks up at the sky, and where before it had been sunny it is suddenly cloudy. She looks back to Amy to tell her that it's going to rain soon, that they should find somewhere to get shelter, but she's gone. One solitary lily remains where she sat, still white as freshly fallen snow.  Gert goes to pick it up, but before she can the hole from where Amy had pulled up the flowers starts to grow bigger, and bigger, and bigger, until it's the hole from the construction site and it's swallowing her. She falls down, down, down, until she tumbles to the ground._

 

_It's the funeral. Everyone she knows is sitting down, staring at her with wide, terrified eyes. She looks down and watches as the robes turn blood red, and suddenly she knows where she's seen them before. Gert looks up, and Amy is rising out of her coffin, floating towards her with a grimace a cross her face. She starts chanting her name, and everyone in the room joins her. "Gert. Gert. Gert. Gert. Gert. Gert-"_

 

"Gert!"

 

She wakes up crying. Chase is holding her in his arms, looking scared out of his mind as he gets her to sit up. She wraps her arms around him, squeezing tight, trying to get a hold on reality as she attempts to calm herself down. It isn't really working.

 

She starts to hyperventilate, and Chase says, "Okay, come on, just, uh, try to match my breathing, okay?" Her head is resting against his chest, so she can feeling him breathing slowly, _one two three four one two three four._ It works, and she calms down, mostly. She's still a little teary, though, because that was one of the freakiest nightmare she's had in a while. Gert always has weird as fuck dreams, but this one takes the cake.

 

Chase's hand moves slowly up and down her back and he doesn't pull away, even though she's not freaking out anymore.

 

"Thanks," she says, her voice still a little shaky and muffled from her face pressed into his shirt.

 

"Anytime. Do you wanna talk about it?" He says softly.

 

"It was, um," she sniffles, "It was about Amy? But my nightmares are always really disturbing, so. It was kind of terrifying. Part of it was at her funeral, which I don't want to relive in the first place, but, um, I watched her rise out of the coffin like some tortured vampire, and it was awful. Like, really, really awful." Oh, no, she's crying again.

 

"Shh, shh, it's okay, you're okay, Gert." He pulls back, just a little, and holds her face in his hands, carefully wiping away her tears. "Everything is going to be fine. I've got you."

 

Chase is so beautiful. She can't even see him that well, not really, she doesn't have her glasses and it's dark, but she knows it true.

 

He pulls Gert back into a hug, and it's not long before she's drowsy, again.

 

She wakes up from the sun shining in through the window, with her head resting on Chase's chest. It's nice, and she doesn't want to move.

 

Until she hears the giggling.

 

"Gosh, this is one of those times I wish we had a camera with us."

 

"I know, this is blackmail material for the ages."

 

"Guys, will you _shut up?_ She's sleeping." Chase says. She can feel the vibrations from where her face is still pressed into his chest.

 

"No, I'm not," she shifts off of him groggily, smiling at him. "Good morning."

 

"Good morning." Chase smiles sweetly at her, and Gert feels like her heart is going to beat out of its chest.

 

"And those two call _us_ lovebirds." Nico grumbles to Karolina.

 

~~~~~

 

"You know, I think it's unfair to use your glowy powers to float down when the rest of us have to jump." Alex yells at Karolina, who sticks her tongue at him as she reaches the water smoothly.

 

"I'm just making sure there's no rocks or danger!"

 

"Bullshit!"

 

Once Karolina gives her the okay, Molly runs and jumps, screeching with laughter the whole way down. She knows she's going to have to walk around in squelchy wet clothes after this, but does she care? No.

 

She hits the water with a huge _SPLOOSH,_ hitting Karolina with a wave. Karolina, of course, isn't going to take that lightly, so she splashes her back as soon as her head breaks the water.

 

"CANONBALL!" Alex yells as he jumps off the cliff, and Nico follows suit with a graceful dive. Chase, though, still stands at the top of the cliff, ringing his hands.

 

"Come on, Chase!" Molly yells.

 

"You know, maybe I should just go check on Gert, I mean-"

 

"Stop thinking about my sister for two seconds and jump, you big chicken!" Will Chase ever take a break from being ass over teakettle for Gert? It's cute, and everything, but it's _so annoying._

 

Karolina starts floating up the side of the cliff, sneakily coming up behind him so he doesn't notice, and pushing him off the side. He screeches the whole way down, and Molly cracks up.

 

He belly-flops onto the water, and while she's sure it was properly painful, it's the funniest thing she's ever seen in her life.

 

She dives under the water, letting her hair float up, up, up as she sinks near the bottom of the river, running her toes over the pebbles and rocks. It's the calmest she's been in a while, and she lets herself not think for a second.

 

Molly has been trying her level best not to stress herself out, because it doesn't get her anywhere and she's been trying to keep up the positivity. But it's been hard, sometimes. Her brain has yet to compute that there might not be an end to this, that the rest of her teenage years might be spent on the run from evil instead of being on the dance squad, of homecoming, of thinking about who she likes and doesn't. She's fourteen. Her life shouldn't be _this._ But she can't complain, because she knows she can't go back to the way it was before, because before is gone. Molly cannot go back home, no matter how much she wants to.

 

And she knows that Dale and Stacy are bad people, she does. But she can't do what Gert is doing, acting like she never loved them in the first place. But she also can't say a thing about missing them, either. She's afraid of what would happen if she does, though, because all the other kids don't seem like they miss their parents. But she does, and she hates it.

 

She pushes herself back up through the water, only to get caught in an all out water fight between Chase and Karolina. She gets revenge, though, when she shakes her hair out wildly, flicking them both with water droplets.

 

The fight turns into an all out war as Nico and Alex join in. It's the best fun Molly has had in ages.

 

They're all floating in the water lazily about an hour later when Nico suggests, "We should play chicken." Karolina agrees immediately because she's the least subtle person to ever exist, but Chase stands up and starts moving towards the rock face.

 

"Actually, I want to go check on Gert. Karo, would you help me up?" Karolina carries him up to the side of the cliff, which should be impossible considering his size, but Molly is learning not to question Karolina's abilities. Nico and Alex start making _kwchee kwchee_ sounds as he makes his way up, and Chase flips them off.

 

~~~~~

 

Chase is _not_ whipped, his friends are jerks. As he walks back to the campsite (barefoot, which was a shit decision) he wipes himself off with one the very cheap towels they bought, the ones that barely absorb anything. He should tell Gert to put that on the list.

 

As he walks into the campsite, scratching at the start of the scruff that he needs for the outing tomorrow, he hears someone singing. Well not someone, he knows it's Gert, but the song choice is so bizarre that he doubts it for a second.

 

"- _Lets talk about sex baby_

__

_lets talk about you and me_

__

__

_lets talk about all the good things and the bad things_ -"

"Having fun?" Chase teases. He hears a squeal as she scrambles to sit up from her position sprawled across the passengers seat.  She carefully gets out of the van, clearly being cautious of her ankle.

"Oh, shut up- woah." She turns to look at him as she says it, and her eyes go wide. He wonders why, then looks down. Oh, that. Right. Why did he decide that the best thing to go swimming in was just his boxers? "You want to. Uh. Put on a shirt?"

"Nothing you haven't seen before, but okay." He grabs his shirt from where he folded on a log near the fire, and with his shirt over his ears he hears her start to sputter.

"You can't just _say_ that-"

He does a shitty imitation of her voice and says breathily, "Chase, I literally had sex with you."

"I do not sound like that!"

He shrugs teasingly and goes to find his jeans.

They still haven't talked about what happened between them, not seriously. They should, and Chase wants to, but he also doesn't want to be that guy, you know? She said one time thing, so he's respecting that. It's hard, sometimes, because he really cares about her, more than he's ever cared about anyone, probably. But he doesn't want a fight. And the last thing he wants to do is lose her. So they'll talk about it when she says so, and no time before that.

"If we play poker right now _achoo!_ Sorry, will you play by the rules or will you cheat?" Gert asks when he sits down next to her.

"How dare you even suggest I would cheat? Gert, do you even know me at all?" They both know he's joking for two reasons. One: Chase cheats notoriously at every card game, and two: _of course_ she knows him. Gert probably knows him better than anyone he's ever met.

She clears her throat dramatically. "Brentwood, 2012. The seven of us are three hours into a game of Monopoly. You are losing, badly. Suddenly, we hear a crash, everyone but you turns to see what happened, and when we turn back, you've stolen money from the bank. You can't fool me, Chase Stein, I know you threw something to break that vase."

"But you can't prove it, and never will, and I won that game. And no, I won't cheat. I'll just mysteriously win even though you were in the lead, like always." She pushes him over, and he cracks up.

"Okay, but if we're playing, what are we using for tokens? And what are we bartering?" Gert says, and, because he has a shit brain, his mind automatically starts chanting _strip poker strip poker strip poker_. But he doesn't say that, because for one, it would be absolute torture, and, for two, she'd never agree. Or would she? No, nah, never.

"I don't know, how about.......we pull leaves off the trees?"

"I'm not hurting a tree when I don't have to, Chase."

"Fine. Rocks, then? And winner gets driving rights for the Walmart trip."

"Deal."

They switch to playing bitch after an hour. Chase won, so he gets to drive, which is great because he almost never gets to drive the van, which is stupid because he can drive, everyone else just gets to the wheel first.

"Hey, so, what are we going to do if people ask for our names? I  want to be prepared so I don't blurt out, like, 'Elizabeth Smitherson' or some shit. It isn't realistic." Gert asks as they start up another hand. They're playing to four thousand, even though they know how long it's going to take. Chase had suggested it because he wanted to spend the most amount of time alone with her possible, but Gert had agreed, and this little bubble of hope has been residing in his chest since she had.

"My fake ID says my name is Mason Greyback, so I'm covered." He says as he goes through his cards.

_"Mason Greyback?_ Chase, come on. You were getting a fake ID and _that's_ the name you chose? It sounds like the name of a werewolf on some teen show. _Achoo!"_  Why is her sneeze cute to him? All she's doing is sneezing into her elbow, but it's still adorable, somehow.

"Oh, shut up, Elizabeth. Hey, I win, put me down for 180." He says, spreading out his cards.

"Oh, fuck you, I literally taught you this game, this is so unfair." She scribbles the score down onto to the back of a scrap sheet of paper they've been using. He's pretty sure the front was a poster for a lost dog.

"Hey, don't get mad just because I'm winning. So what do you think your alter-ego should be?" He takes the cards from her and cuts the deck and deals, missing the 100 by just two cards.

"I genuinely don't know, that's kind of why I was asking you. You've got that little theatre kid heart beating in there, you must be able to come up with something." Gert shuffles her cards into the right order, as if she didn't just reach into the depths of his soul and pull out a ridiculously accurate embarrassing truth.

“Uh, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, yeah? _And I know it's only in my mind, that I'm talking to myself and not to him, and although I know that he is blind, still I say-"_

_"There's a way for us._ " He interrupts her almost involuntarily, then says, "Okay, okay, you caught me. Your voice is gorgeous, by the way."

Gert smiles, slow and bright, and it's the best thing he's ever seen. She ducks her head and says softly, "Thank you. That's, um, no one's ever told me that before."

"Well, they should've. You're beautiful." _Shit._ "Um, I mean, your _voice_ is beautiful, is what I meant to say. Um, your turn." The words rush out of his mouth, and Gert laughs at him, just a little.

"So? Ideas?"

Chase shrugs and says, "I really don't know. How about choosing the name of a relative, or something?" as he sets up his cards to lay them all down at once. Gert hates when he does this, but she's cute when she's mad, so it's a win/win situation, really.

"That would be a good idea if I knew the names of any of my relatives, they all died before I was born. Wait, except- Oh, I know what I'll use. Introducing Carmen Mendes, at your service."

"Nice to meet you, Carmen Mendes." He lays down his cards, which includes two jokers and a queen of spades. He really is crushing this game. "Put me down for 350."

"I truly hate you, did you know that?" She says, but there's no heat to it.

"Uh-huh, and I totally believe you."

Gert sticks her tongue out at him.

"Hey, if you don't mind me asking, Carmen Mendes doesn't sound like a very 'white Jewish family' kind of name, was that your......"

"It's my mom's name. And before you ask, no, I've never met her. She's nothing more than a name on a piece of paper." Her voice sounds far off, like she's somewhere totally different then here, in a dark kind of place. Chase has been to that place, and it's the worst, so he tries to pull her out of it.

"I feel like I should go check on them, it's been like, two and a half hours. Do you want to come?" She nods, and they walk out to the cliff-side. When they get there, Chase hears a roar from across the river, and sees a flash of bright green in the trees. Good, Old Lace is almost done hunting. It's getting dark, and Chase likes to have the whole group together after the sun goes down.

"HEY CHICKEN, YOU COMING BACK DOWN?" Molly yells, clearly oblivious to the setting sun. That's good, though, because it means that she's been having fun, and Molly, out of everyone here, most deserves an afternoon of fun.

One of Chase's biggest fears of what will come out of this is that they won't be themselves anymore, Molly especially. She's still a kid, no matter how hard she tries to prove to the group that she's just as mature as them, and she's so bright and present, and Chase is so afraid of that being tarnished.

"It's getting late, you guys should come up now!" Gert yells back in his place, hands around her mouth like a shitty megaphone.

They watch as Karolina lifts Alex up, then Nico, then Molly and flopping down on the ground from the strain.

Molly shakes herself off, sees Chase and Gert standing practically shoulder to shoulder, and gets a devilish smile on her face. She sprints towards the two of them, yelling _"INCOMING!"_ and jumping at them.

Chase catches her almost automatically, and Gert grabs her legs, getting them both soaked.

"Molly, you are _evil."_ Gert says darkly, dropping her legs and stepping away, causing Chase to have to readjust so she doesn't tumble out of his arms.

Molly yawns, and wraps an arm across his shoulders to keep herself up. As he starts walking them back to the campsite, she says, "I think I'm gonna go to sleep early tonight."

"Okay, kiddo."

He catches Gert smiling at them, bright and warm, and asks, "What?"

She turns away, but the smile doesn't leave her face. "Nothing, nothing."

Chase carries her to the van and sets her down, wishing her goodnight and sliding the door closed. He hears some rustling as she changes out of her wet clothes, and then it stops, so he knows she's gone to sleep now.

Karolina and Alex get the fire going, and he sits down between Gert and Nico.

Gert shivers, and he asks, "Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?" She starts to shake her head, but he's already pulling it off and draping it over her shoulders.

She burrows into it so deep that all he can see is the top of her purple hair, and he hears a muffled, "Thanks, Chase."

Okay, their friends are right.

He's whipped.

 

 


	2. CHAPTER TWO

 

_Wooow._

Objectively, Nico knew that Chase liked Gert. They all know. He's not subtle. But _damn._ It's literally like she's watching him fall in love with her. She's halfway through thinking _I want that_ before Karolina nudges her, and oh, yeah, she kind of does have that.

And it's not like she's in love with Karolina. She's not going to pretend that she's been pining for her for years or something, and they still haven't talked about whether they're girlfriends or not. But at least they're kind of, sort of, in a relationship. And that's good enough for her, really.

"Hey, we should play truth or dare!" Karolina says, and Nico is reminded of just how much she loves her voice. It's kind of husky, with almost none of the sugar you'd expect from a California blonde, but it's so uniquely _her._

Nico agrees immediately, and so do the rest of them, so Karolin starts with, "Chase, truth or dare?"

"Dare, no way am I being the first truther."

"Not a word, jockstrap." Gert voice is muffled because half her face is still zipped under Chase's coat, but they can all hear her snark just fine.

"Ugh, lame, Chase." Karolina's nose scrunches in thought, and it's adorable. "Okay, um.........oh, I've got one." her smile turns devilish as she says, "Kiss the prettiest girl here."

Chase turns so red she can see it even in the firelight. "Karolina............."

"What? Are you chicken?" Nico says. She sees something in Chase's face change and knows she's got him.

"Why does everyone keep calling me that today?" He grumbles, then leans over to Gert, who's been resolutely staring off to the side, almost like she didn't want to watch Chase kiss someone else, and smacks a kiss to her forehead. She starts, turning to him eyes wide, and he gives her a lopsided smile. Gert turns away, red staining her cheeks.

"That doesn't count, you know what she meant." Alex says, and Chase sticks his tongue out at him. It's genuinely the funniest thing she's ever seen, and Nico cracks up.

"Anyways, my turn. Since Wilder is deciding to be a jerk, truth or dare?" Nico can practically hear the _bitch_ that Chase so desperately wants to tack on the end.

"And since Chase was a coward-"

"Can you two stop measuring dicks and just get to the game, please?" Gert says, and Nico and Karolina nod in agreement. _Boys._

"Okay, okay, sorry, your majesty. I pick truth." Alex's tone is tired, and Gert gets a little crease between her eyebrows at the comment.

Nico's teeth start to chatter, just a little, and Karolina puts her arm around her. She scoots closer, because Karolina is a furnace and she really is freezing. She catches Alex looking at them, and gives him her best possible death glare. His eyebrows go up a bit and he holds up his hands a little, as if to say, _don't worry about it._ She gives him a tiny, slow smile that she hopes translates into a thank you. She really couldn't have dealt with it if Alex had been a dick about her and Karolina. Now her only problem is figuring out how to tell their friends about Amy.

She doesn't know how the fuck her and Alex are going to tell the rest of them. It's going to be so hard, and her only hope is that this isn't the nail in the coffin that splits up the group for good. There have been other things, too, e.g. Chase and Alex's laptop, Molly's mess up with their parents, but this is big. Nico is kind of scared of what will go down. Because she knows she reacted badly, but her and Alex have been keeping this from the rest of the group, so she knows that's going to make it worse. Secrets always do.

"What's your favourite memory?" Chase asks, and Nico is surprised because it's a lot sweeter of a question than she was expecting. She's not sure if he's asking to be genuine or because Gert is sitting right next to him and he's trying to impress her. Or maybe Gert just makes him softer.

"Oh, hmm. Do you guys remember that time we went to Disneyland together? We were about nine, I think, and it was for Molly's birthday. That was the most fun I've ever had, oh man. And how Karolina was terrified of It's A Small World and we made her go anyways-"

"It's a valid fear! They're creepy and the song freaks me out!"

Which, of course, prompts Nico and Gert to sing a rousing rendition of, _"It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world. There is just one moon and one golden-"_

"ENOUGH!" Karolina slams her hands over her ears, and the rest of them burst out laughing.

"Okay, my turn to ask.......Gert, truth or dare?"

"I feel gross and I don't want to do a dare, so truth, I guess." She sniffles and burrows deeper into Chase's coat.

"Who was your first kiss?"

"Wow, original. I'd say it was Karolina, but I think Chase would have something to say about that, so-"

"Oh my god, it's been literally forever, would you let that go?"

"You're the one who just had to be dramatic and-"

"What the fuck are you guys talking about? I get that you guys have this weird made up language with each other, but clue a bitch in, please." Nico interrupts.

"Oh, well, one time in like, the eighth grade we were all playing truth or dare, and I said that my first kiss was Karolina, because technically, it was, we were twelve and wanted to get it over with, that's my Story," Karolina nods, and Gert continues, "But after, drama queen here pulls me aside freaking out because he'd been apparently counting that time I kissed him when we were, like, eight, as his first kiss-"

"Uh, of course I was! It was my first kiss!" Gert gives the group a look that clearly says _see what I mean?_

"Anyways, he was having a mini meltdown over it, going all _Gert, I've been telling people I've had my first kiss and now it doesn't count, I'm a kissing_ ** _virgin_** _,_ " her impression is spot on, and she continues, "So I kissed him so he'd shut up about it."

_"WHAT?"_ Nico, Karolina, and Alex say in unison.

"You fuckers have been macking on each other since middle school and you _still_ haven't-" Nico starts, but Karolina elbows her. Right. Don't upset the balance, let them figure it out on their own. That's what Karolina said, anyways, when she found out about Nico's 'meddling'.

"So it's my turn now, right? Karolina, truth or dare?" Gert asks.

"Truth."

Gert gets a devilish smile on her face and asks, "Fuck, Marry, Kill with everyone here excluding Molly." A surprised laugh bursts out of her mouth, she can't help it. Say all you want about Gert, but damn, she is creative.

"Okay, but just know I'm gonna come back at you later with a worse one. Fuck Gert, Marry Nico, Kill Chase." Chase makes an affronted noise, and Karolina says, "I'm sorry, like, really, but you're the most oblivious motherfucker here and you kissed me, so I think it's warranted."

Gert falls back off the log, cackling like a mad man. Nico would join her, but she's too busy thinking about how quickly Karolina said she'd marry her. It makes her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Gert catches her breath and sits up again, saying, "Also, thank you, Karolina, given the no-consequences-didn't-already-have-feelings-for-someone-else opportunity, I'd fuck you, too."

Wait, is she? Nico should ask just to make sure. Better not make this awkward. "Oh, so you're, uh, girls?" Crap.

Gert laughs, though, and says, "Yeah, I'm girls. And boys, too, _bi_ the way." Nico snorts. Gert does love a good pun.

"Oh, um. Me too." Gert reaches across Chase to offer her closed fist, and Nico bumps it hesitantly.

"Okay, Karolina, your turn."

"Hmmm......Nico, truth or dare?"

"Dare. I am not getting truthed." She hears Gert grumble something about that not being a word.

"Okay, I dare you to kiss me."

"Oh, that's easy." Nico puts her hand on Karolina's cheek and kisses her softly, then pulls back. Karolina, who hasn't put her bracelet back on, lights up like a rainbow. She's beautiful.

"Yo, Rainbow Brite," Gert says, tossing her her bracelet, "here you go."

Karolina catches it one-handed without even looking and slaps it on. It's only a little bit hot.

Nico tears her eyes away from Karolina's smile, and says, "Gert. Truth or dare?"

"Ugh, why am I always getting picked? Truth."

"What do you regret the most?" It's the first thing she thinks of, so she doesn't really expect Gert's eyes to go misty, and her shoulders to drop. She looks anywhere but here, and Nico almost takes back her question when Gert speaks.

"I regret a lot of things. One of the big ones, though, um. Is Amy? I still feel like I should have checked on her more. Even that day, the last day, she said something weird and I.......I shrugged it off, and I just- I'm sorry." She has to turn away to take a breath and wipe her eyes, and Nico thinks _oh, shit._ Her and Alex look at each other in a silent battle of _you say it,_ and _no, you._ Nico has the moral high ground here, though, and Alex knows it, so she wins.

"Uh, about Amy............." Gert turns to him, eyes wide.

"What about Amy, Wilder?" Chase scoots closer to Gert, and it looks almost subconscious.

"Nico and I found some stuff out, and it's looking like...............she was murdered."

"We didn't 'find stuff out', you knew shit about it for two years and didn't tell me fuck-all."

"Woah, woah, what? Can we get back to her being _murdered_ , please? And then go into to Wilder hiding shit from us?" Chase says. Gert doesn't say anything, completely shell-shocked.

Karolina's arm falls away from her shoulders, and when Nico looks at her, she looks like she's folding in on herself. She won't make eye contact.

"So, Amy was messing around with Wizard files. And then she got hacked, and I guess it was by my mom," Nico's voice breaks, "or maybe that Jonah guy. Because she got a text the day that she.............telling her to get out of the house. I still don't know who it was from. I only found the message a few days before we left. And, uh, the thing Alex was hiding was that she was hacked, and he knew. So. Yeah. Woah, Gert, are you okay?"

She's breathing fast and her hands jitter as she says, "Yeah, I'm fine, I just, I-" she doesn't sound like herself, her voice high and reedy.

Nico is up in a flash, crouching down next to her and saying, "Gert, it's going to be okay. What do you need me to do?" She's shaking even more now.

"I need- I need the rest of you to back up. Like, at least three steps. Please." Chase, Karolina, and Alex, who'd been crowding around the two of them, reel back.

"Okay, Gert, just focus on breathing. Can I put my hand on your shoulder?" She nods, frantic, and Nico carefully puts her hand on her shoulder, moving up in down in reassurance.

"Do you need me to do something? What do you need?" She makes sure to keep her voice quiet, and slow, nowhere near Gert's panic induced tone.

"Talk to me."

"What?"

"Talk to me. Tell me a story, sing me a song, something, I-"

_"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long,"_ she starts, singing the first song she can think of, _"and wouldn't it be nice to live together, in the kind of world where we belong,"_ her voice is kind of shaky, but Gert's breathing starts to slow, so she reckons it's fine. _"You know it's gonna make it so much better, when we can say goodnight and stay together."_ Her voice cracks on the high note, and she sees a hint of a smile on Gert's face, so she keeps going. _"Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up, in the morning when the day is new, after having spent the day together, hold each other close the whole night through."_ Gert takes her hand and squeezes it.

"I'm good now, I think. Thanks, Nico."

"Anytime, girlie." Nico carefully puts her arms around her, and Gert squeezes tight.

~~~~~

Karolina walks over and wraps her arms around them both, and Chase joins her. Alex stares, unsure, until she catches his eye and mouths _get over here._

Alex walks over, still awkward, and puts his arms around Gert and Karolina. It feels nice, this kind of platonic intimacy. He loves his friends. And even though the circumstances are shit, he's so, so glad to have them back.

He doesn't think he's been hugged like this in ages, and his eyes start to tear up. If anyone asks he'll say it's allergies, of which he doesn't have any, but they don't have to know that.

They pull back eventually, all discreetly wiping at their eyes. Nico even goes to the van to go to sleep. Well, almost all of them pull back. Chase still sits a bit too close to be unintentional and has his arm around Gert's shoulder. _Smooth._

And that's when Old Lace finally comes back from her hunt.

"Hi, baby!" Gert says, instantly brightening, and Old Lace trots over and drops her head in her lap. Alex sees Chase's eye's dilate a little bit when Gert say _baby,_ and he has to stop himself from laughing.

Gert rubs her hand over Old Lace's head, and she roars. Alex scoots back a bit. It's not like he's afraid of Old Lace, or anything, except that he's totally afraid of Old Lace. She's a fucking _dinosaur,_ wouldn't you be scared?

"Alex, you big wimp, she doesn't bite. Get over here." He walks over cautiously, sitting down where Chase had just gotten up, quite reluctantly, to go help Karolina with something.

His hand shakes as he extends it, and Gert, tired of his bullshit, apparently, grabs his hand and guides it over Old Lace's head, getting him to stroke her. Old Lace yawns, and suddenly Alex can smell her breath in the air.

"Ugh, that's gross," he scrunches up his nose, but he doesn't move his hand, mostly because Gert's hand is still over his and he's pretty sure she wouldn't let him.

"Hey, don't insult my dinosaur like that, you'll hurt her feelings." Gert says jokingly, smiling at him.

It occurs to him that, with anyone else, this would probably be very romantic. And while Gert is, no doubt about it, gorgeous, he really doesn't see her that way.

They're just smiling at each other and talking quietly in the firelight when he sees Chase in his peripheral, carrying a pile of firewood.

Chase is zeroed in on Gert's hand over his, and as soon as Gert notices she pulls away like Alex had burned her. He'd be offended if he didn't know how weirdly complicated the two of them are.

Chase drops the firewood and stalks off, and Gert sighs, staring after him.

"That bad, huh?"

Gert leans her head on his shoulder and says, "I just don't know what to do. I really like him, you know? But after we slept together-"

"Oh my God, _what?_ That's what happened between you two that made you so chock full of UST?" She scrunches her nose up at him but doesn't pull away.

"Yeah, if you want to call it that. But I was stupid and got defensive and said it was a one time thing, and I'm not even sure if he actually likes me, anyways." She sounds so dejected, and Alex squeezes her hand and makes sure she's looking up at him.

"Gert, you're fantastic. If he doesn't like you he's the stupidest man alive. Although, I'm pretty sure he does like you."

She turns away, cheeks flaming, and says, "Pfft, shut up."

"No, seriously, you're great. Even if you are being stupid, because he clearly likes you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

~~~~~

"What's up with you?" Karolina asks as Chase storms past her.

"Nothing," he doesn't stop, trying to discreetly wipe at his eyes so she doesn't notice. She grabs his arm to stop him, and even though if he wanted to he could wrench out of her grip, he stops.

"I said it was nothing, Karolina." He doesn't turn to face her, instead choosing to angstily glare in the other direction.

And it is nothing. He knows he's being irrational, and jumping to conclusions, and a bunch of other therapist buzzwords that Gert would probably throw at him if he was talking to her about this, instead. But he's not talking to Gert, that's the whole point. He would, if he wasn't a total fucking coward. He can say all he wants that he hasn't talked to her about it because he's trying to respect her feelings, but, at this point, he's almost positive she feels the same way. Probably. The only reason he hasn't said anything is his mind keeps repeating _what if you're wrong what if you're wrong what if you fuck everything up?_

"It doesn't seem like nothing." She guides him into sitting down, and they sit shoulder to shoulder on the forest floor.

"I just saw Alex and Gert together. Not like, kissing together, but they were smiling all soft at each other and they were holding hands." He fidgets with his fingers as he thinks of what to say next. "And I know I don't have the monopoly on holding her hand, that would be stupid, but it's _our_ thing. And now what?" He pulls his fingers through his hair to try and externalize some of his jittering. 

"And now," Karolina says, putting two fingers on his chin and turning him towards her so he'll make eye contact, "you realize that Gert has never had feelings as strong as she does for anyone but you, and that her and Alex are just friends."

“I mean, sure, but-“

Karolina pokes him in the chest and says, “No, no, no. No buts, and no ‘I guess’, and no maybes. Gert does not like Alex. She does not like him, and never has. Chase, just talk to her, you buffoon.” 

“Buffoon? That’s a new one.” But he’s feeling better, now. Ish. He’s no longer overcome with irrational jealousy, if anything.

“Yeah, well, it fits. You’re being complicated for no reason, seriously.” She gives him that patented sunshine grin he used to like so much, and realizes that she’s right.

Chase is so, so glad he got over pretending to like Karolina. Because that’s the thing, isn’t it, that he was pretending. Karolina is the type of girl that he’s supposed to like, the type of girl his father and his ‘friends’ would approve of. She’s the tall, hot blonde stereotype that’s so expected that when they started hanging out again and he thought, _oh, Karolina is great and I’ve missed her_ , he immediately interpreted that as liking her. Partly because of expectations, but also because he had just started talking to Gert again and he was getting those warm, fuzzy feelings in his stomach that he’s been getting since he was nine years old. And there was no way Gert would ever like him after ghosting on her for two years after being best friends their entire lives.

He hopes that they’re on their way to being best friends, again. Gert has always been the one who he was the closest to, even when they were very small. And then he threw that away to, what, be popular? Go to parties that he didn’t even enjoy? Kiss pretty women that couldn’t ever compare to the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen and ever will see?  God, he was stupid. At least he has her back now, sort of.

“I just worry, because I’ve been so awful to you guys the past couple years, Gert especially, which she didn’t deserve at all. All my so-called friends were so rude to her, and I didn’t do shit to stop them, even when I wanted to. And I really, really wanted to. But I’m such a fucking coward. I’ve always been a coward, I don’t know why you guys even let me come. I’m just going to fuck everything up like I _always_ do.” The words rush out of him before he can stop them, and his hands shake.

Karolina wraps him into a hug, holding him tight.

“Chase. You are not a fuck up. We care about you, even if you’ve made mistakes, because we’re _family,_ Chase. And family can forgive even the worst transgressions.” She’s moving his hand up and down his back, and he feels the calm rush over him.

She pulls back, and they walk back to the campsite together. They pick up the firewood from where he’s dropped it and pile it up properly. Gert and Alex have gone back to the van, and he knows Old Lace is in there too because the back side of the van is noticeably tilted down. 

He crawls into the back of the van, trying to be quiet for the girls sake. Alex is curled up in the passenger seat, probably because he didn’t want to sleep next to Old Lace. He’s irrationally scared of her, although maybe that’s changed if Gert is…………..bad train of thought. 

Molly is passed out, curled up against Old Lace. Her blanket has slipped down, so Chase fixes it around her shoulders. He lies down next to Gert, who shifts toward him and rests her head on his shoulder.

“Goodnight, Gert.” He whispers, even if he knows she won’t respond. She hums and moves closer, and Chase feels at peace.

Being around Gert is like sitting in front of the fireplace after a long day, it’s a worn blanket around his shoulders, it’s Billy Joel on the radio on a Sunday morning. 

It’s like coming home.

Gert wakes him up with a kiss. Her warm hands frame his face even as she pulls back, watching his eyes flutter open.

“Good morning,” she says softly. Her hair falls from where it’s tucked behind her ear and brushes his face, and she smiles down at him.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He reaches up and tucks the piece back behind her ear, and keeps his hand pressed into her cheek.

She giggles a little, and pecks him on the lips. “I told you not to call me that,” she says, but it’s clear she doesn’t mean it. Her cheeks are pink like roses, and she smiles bright.

“I’ll stop calling you beautiful when it stops being true, which will be never, so I guess you’re just going to have to live with it.” He doesn’t know why he’s whispering. They’re alone, after all.

“I love you,” she says, her voice soft and easy.

“I know,” he teases, smiling up at her.

She flops down next to him in the bed and says, “don’t Han Solo me, you big jerk.”

“Aw, baby,” he wraps his arms around her and pulls her close, “you know I love you more than anything.”

He presses a kiss to her shoulder, and she smiles, warm and bright. The sunlight shines lazily through the window of the apartment, hitting her just right and making her purple hair shine.

And then he realizes that they don’t own an apartment. And that Gert isn’t his girlfriend. And that she’s never told him she loves him.

And then he wakes up for real.

The sunlight comes in through the windshield, and it occurs to Chase that he is the only one awake. Even Gert is snoring softly, her head resting on his chest.

He hates when he’s having a good dream, because a good dream is never just a good dream, for him. It’s always about something he wants, something he’s been thinking about. Something he doesn’t have. The only good thing about that dream is that it wasn’t a very different kind that _also_ involves Gert and him and a bed. He has gotten extremely lucky that she’s been awake and not near him during those types of dreams. He’s been getting them a lot lately, but who can blame him? He had sex for the first time, ever, with a girl he really likes, who he’s been in close quarters with since the sex transpired. It was inevitable that he’d be thinking about it.

Sometimes he ends up getting sucked into his own head thinking about what happened that night, Gert’s lips on his and her soft skin and scorching, scorching heat. And then he has to hide the boner, which usually means he has to make an excuse to go into the woods and think about naked grandmothers and dying puppy dogs until he can calm the fuck down.

"Chase?" Gert says sleepily. She doesn't move away from him.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"Your heartbeat is going, like, a million miles per hour." She yawns. "I should get up now, shouldn't I?" But she doesn't move. If anything, she curls closer.

He strokes her hair absently, and says, "Well, you don't have to. I mean, we're the only ones awake and it's too early to be up and at 'em yet, so I'm good with staying if you are." He makes sure to say it casually, because he doesn't want to scare her off.

"Okay." Her voice is soft and sleepy, and he runs his fingers through her hair again.

"Today's the day we're going to Walmart, right?" He asks after a while. He'd heard Nico and Gert discussing it yesterday, and that seems to be the plan.

"Yeah. You excited to interact with the outside world again?"

"I'm excited that I never have to eat another Frito pie." Chase grumbles, and she laughs softly.

"Yeah, well," she says, finally looking up at him, "I think it's......................" She doesn't finish. Gert is staring at something on his face, and he moves his hand up to see if there's like, dirt on his cheek or something. There isn't, and he scratches at his scruff in confusion. Gert makes this little noise that he's probably going to be phantom-hearing for the next week, high and needy, that sets something off in the pit of his stomach.

"Okay, what?" He raises an eyebrow at her, and she blinks, hard, before getting up and sitting back on her knees, looking anywhere but at him.

"Uh, nothing, I, uh, I should get started on breakfast. I'll just uh, get going, then." She stands up in a hurry, the blanket falling off her shoulders to reveal that she's still wearing his coat over her pajamas, the sleeves covering her hands down to the tips of her fingers. He sees her rubbing her thumb over the hem of the fabric as she gets out of the car, one of her many nervous habits.

And then she's gone.

~~~~~

Why, oh why, did the universe decide to bless Chase Stein with the ability to grow a beard?

Gert is going to die, right here, on this log, and it's going to be all his fault. Stupid Chase and his stupid hotness and his stupid face that makes her want to make out with him all the time.

She stands up and kicks at the ashes from last night's fire, and she hears shuffling from inside. She's pleading, no, begging, that it's not Chase.

She'd been so close just then to just _doing it._ Taking his face in her hands and kissing him, telling him she hadn't meant it when she said it was a one time thing. Telling him how much she likes him, how all she wants to do is be his girlfriend.

But she's a fucking coward, so she didn't do shit, just ran away Like Always. And now she's standing here, still wearing his fucking jacket, kicking at the ashes of a dead campfire.

She wishes that they could have stayed in that little bubble forever, that little bubble filled with faint sunshine and a boy who she can pretend cares about her the way she wants him to, just stay there and not leave.

Fortunately- or maybe unfortunately, because she definitely woke up at least one of the gang, Old Lace clambers out of the half open door of the van. Old Lace trots up next to her and head-butts her hand, and Gert pats the top of her head absently.

"Hey, girl." She says quietly. "You having boy troubles too?" Old Lace says nothing, because she's a dinosaur and can't speak, but she does start doing this thing where she takes a step, looks back, and takes another step, and repeat. It only takes Gert a second to realize she wants her to follow her.

Old Lace trots into the forest, and Gert trails behind her without really thinking about it. They walk and walk and walk until they reach another part of the forest, and Old Lace stops.

Gert, to be honest, hasn't really been paying attention to where Old Lace has been leading her, but when the fog in her mind clears and she looks around, she sees that they're in a flower grove.

Old Lace settles in a spot near a big sycamore tree, and Gert sits next to her, being careful not to squash any of the flowers. And there's so, so many flowers. Poppies, lupines, snowdrops, forget-me-nots, dahlias, daisies, and morning glories, and those are just the ones she recognizes from Molly's nature photography book that's sitting on her bookshelf back at the house. Gert gave it to her for her birthday one year, and they used to pour over it together. 

She leans against the tree and fiddles with a lupine as she wonders how far away she is from the campsite. Judging from the height of the sun in the sky, pretty far. She does that sometimes, zones out while walking or studying or talking to the point that when the fog clears she doesn't know what time it is or what she was supposed to be doing. It's a miracle she hasn't accidentally walked into traffic and died yet, actually.

Her mind flips to Chase, because of course it does. This morning was good until she fucked it up. She's always fucking things up with Chase. She wonders if it's self sabotage or just the universe telling her to back off of it's golden boy.

She ends up picking the flowers and weaving them into crowns, just to have something to do with her hands. She doesn't know where she learned to do this, but she suspects Amy taught her. She was always the one for this kind of stuff, all the flower crowns and glitter and fairy tales. Gert has countless memories of tea parties and pink nail polish and streaks of makeup over all the girls faces. Amy almost made sure to include Molly in that kind of stuff, too, even though she was younger and 'immature, Ames' as a seven year old Nico would sometimes whine. But Amy didn't care.

She's glad she knows now, at least, that Amy hadn't left this world because she was unhappy. She can’t imagine how Nico is dealing with this, though. If Molly had seemingly taken her own life and then Gert found out that she was murdered, she would fight the world until she found her killer. She doesn’t know how Nico can act so calm about it. She suspects she isn’t, actually, and is just putting up a front for the rest of them.

She looks down at her hands and realizes that she’s made seven flower crowns while she’d been zoning out, the actions so familiar she didn’t really have to think about them. She carefully puts the big one on Old Lace’s head, the bright pink dahlias beaming at her. Old Lace gets back on her paws, shaking her head a little, almost as if she’s testing to see if the crown stays.

Gert places her flower crown on her head carefully, the white petals of the daisies getting a little bit caught in her hair. She picks the rest of the crowns up carefully, stacking them and cradling them in her arms. Her and Old Lace make the trek back to the campsite, and she was right, they were a long ways away.

Gert returns to absolute chaos. Karolina and Molly have somehow gotten into a bitch fight, which is not words she would use for the two of them, ever, but it’s applicable right now, and Chase and Alex are arguing over a fucking burrito near the campfire. The only one who seems at all normal right now is Nico, who gives her a little wave from where she’s standing under a tree. Old Lace sees the chaos and splits, heading in the other direction, presumably to hunt. Gert walks over to Nico and places the flower crown with poppies and lupine on top of her head, and Nico stares up at it in amused confusion.

“Thank you?”

“I zoned out and starting making them without thinking about it. What are they fighting over?” She asks, gesturing to basically the whole group.

“Well, Molly woke up to a missing you and promptly freaked out and wanted to go looking for you, which we weren’t going to do since it was clear that you were going to come back, and Karolina’s been trying to convince her not to run off. And Chase is irritable because you weren’t here and he’s always like that when you aren’t here and also I think something happened this morning? I woke up and he looked miserable, anyways. And Alex has a tendency to accidentally make things worse so now they’re arguing.”

“The Chase thing might be a bit my fault. That’s kind of why I left, actually. I was kind of stressed.” She sees Nico’s eyes take on that _what the fuck happened I will protect you_ look, and she scrambles to say, “Nothing bad happened! I just freaked out internally over something small. I should go let everyone know I’m back.”

She decides that the Molly and Karolina debacle is slightly too messy to deal with, and she is kind of hungry, so she goes over to Chase and Alex and snatches the burrito off the napkin and takes a bite.

“You know, these aren’t even that good,” she says after she swallows, “but I’ve gotten so used to them that I think I actually like them now.”

“You’re back!” Chase says, looking bewildered and happy at the same time.

“I am.” She puts the burrito back down and takes a flower crown from where she’s had them hanging off her arm, reaching up and placing it on his head. She takes the second one and gives it to Alex to put on his own head, because he’s just too tall for her to reach.

“Thanks?” He says, amused.

“You’re welcome.” He looks like he wants to ask for an explanation, but he doesn’t. Chase is staring up at the ring of poppies on his head like a confused puppy dog. 

It’s unbearably cute.

“What do you think, huh?” Chase asks.

“I think that red is your colour.” He blushes, red as the flowers in his crown, and Gert smirks in satisfaction.

“Look, I just think that we should go look for her! It’s been two hours now, what if- Gert!” Molly sees her and starts running barreling into her arms and almost knocking her over.

“Oof, _princesa_ ,” Gert says, using an old nickname from their childhood, “you almost knocked me to the ground.” She holds her sister tight and runs her hand over her back.

“You scared me, Gert, I thought you’d left, or something happened to you, and stupid Karolina wouldn’t let me go look for you!” She catches Karolina’s eye over Molly’s shoulder, and they share a Big Sister look. Karolina may be an only child, but she has thoroughly adopted Molly.

“Hey, I wouldn’t have left you, you know that, right?” She speaks softly, trying to soothe her. “I’m always gonna come back to you. I’m your sister, there’s no getting rid of me.” She feels Molly nod into her shoulder, but neither of them pull away.

Gert strokes her hair until Molly pulls away, only looking a little bit embarrassed by her reaction.

“Do you want me to braid your hair before we leave for the store?” Gert asks, running her fingers through Molly’s hair. She nods, and they go and sit down. They pass Karolina on the way, and Gert hands her her crown of snowdrops and bluebells. Karolina doesn’t question it and places it on her head with a smile.

Gert sits on a stump near the van and Molly plops down between her legs, leaning back. Gert puts the crown aside for later and starts splitting Molly’s hair into parts when she asks, “Would you do the really complicated one? With all the different steps?”

“Ay, Molly, you know how long that one takes, but fine.” She starts making little braids in Molly’s hair, being careful of tangles. Gert can not wait to buy a proper hairbrush today. 

“So how long are you guys going to be, anyways?”

“A good few hours, and during that time you should talk to Karolina.” She finishes the third braid, tying it off with one of the many, many hair ties Molly always has on her wrist.

“But she was mean, Gert, why do I have to apologize?”

“First of all, she wasn’t being mean, she was looking out for you. It’s unsafe to go out on your own- yes, I hear it now, sorry. But I had OL, so it’s different. And you’re young, and I know, I know, you can protect yourself, you’re just as mature as we are, I know. But you are still just fourteen. And fourteen year old girls are a vulnerable demographic. Second of all, not that I think she would be upset with you, because she isn’t, but it’s important that you talk to her so later, if you need each other, there’s no bad blood.” She finishes the first big braid, then starts on the second one.  

“Okay, Gert, I get it. I’ll talk to her.”

“Good. Is there anything specific that you want when we go to the store?”

“Hmmm……….would you get some music? Like, um, CD’s or something? I’m tired of not being able to listen to the radio because they keep talking about us.”

“Oh, what kind of music? How about Emotion Side B? _I’m just going to the store?_ ” 

“That’s not even her best one, you _know_ how I feel about the original Emotion, I mean, all of Carly Rae’s music is good but Gimmie Love? Boy Problems? No contest .” Gert nods and laughs a little, then finishes braiding the three smaller braids together and ties it.  

She runs her hand down the braid to make sure there’s no weak spots, which there isn’t because she’s a master braider, then hands Molly her flower crown when she twists around to face her. The powder blue morning glories stick out against her dark hair, and she looks beautiful.

“Okay, _princesa_ , starting to look like a queen around here, huh?” She says, and Molly giggles.

“Are you guys going to leave soon?” 

“I think so. I do want to go for a swim and wash my hair, though, so I’ll be back in about a half hour, okay?” They stand up, and Gert goes and grabs the cheap gas station shampoo from the back of the van.

“Be careful of your ankle, okay?” Gert nods, and heads out to the cliff-side.

She strips down quickly, leaving her in just her bra and underwear, and sprints over the side. She wonders if this is how Karolina feels when she uses her powers, the rush of absolute freedom when she’s not connected to anything, not the ground or the van or anywhere at all.

And then she hits the water.

Gert sinks, sinks, sinks to the bottom, closes her eyes as her toes graze the pebbles. She thinks, just for a second, about what it would be like if she didn’t come back up. No parents, no killers, no more running. No more crowded van, no more sleeping in yesterday’s clothes, none of it. Just her and the water, sinking for eternity. 

And then she pushes up until her head crests the water, gasping for air.

She pops the cap of the shampoo bottle and squeezes, then starts scrubbing it through her hair. She doesn’t want to contaminate the river, so she uses the smallest amount possible that will still, you know, clean her hair.

Gert circles her fingers into her scalp, trying to ease the headache that’s starting at the back of her neck and scrub her hair at the same time.

She dips under the water again to get the soap out,  trying not to focus on how bad her stress headache is right now. She’s really, really trying to be chill about the trip today. Most likely, nothing will happen and they will be fine, and they will finally have the supplies they need.

But that doesn’t stop her from overthinking.

 She dips under the water again, squeezing out the soap, then comes back up and lets herself float for a minute, just to try and let the worry seep out of her bones.

“Hey, Gert!” She hears Chase yell from the top of the cliff.  

“What’s up?” She yells back. It hurts a little, the yelling, and she curses internally. She thought she was over this stupid cold.

“Do you want me to go get Karolina to help you up? It’s a steep trail if she doesn’t help!” 

“That would great, thanks!”

Not ten minutes later, Karolina is floating gracefully down like a glittering one girl pride parade. She hooks her arms under Gert's shoulders and pulls her up the cliff, setting her down gently when they reach the top.

Chase is there, for some reason, clutching a towel in his hands. He doesn't give it to her, though, just stares. She sees his pupils dilate, looks down, and realizes what she's wearing. And then she thinks about the last time Chase saw her wearing this little clothing.

"You gonna hand me a towel, or are you just going to stare?" She puts her hands on her hips and cocks her head, and it occurs to her that she's flirting. Karolina catches her eye and gives her a _you go, girl_ look, then flies off.

Chase shakily hands her the towel, and she starts drying off. He's still kind of staring. She raises her eyebrows at him, and he looks away quickly.

She pulls on her jeans and flannel, biting down on a smile, and they walk back to the campsite together.

As they walk, Gert moves her neck in just the wrong way, pain shooting up and causing her to have to put her fingers to her temples and squeeze her eyes shut as she waits for the pain to pass.

Chase puts his hand on the back of her neck, and the fog starts to clear. "Hey, are you okay?" He starts to rub little circles into her neck, and it feels so good that she can't bring herself to pull away.

"Yeah, I've just got a stress headache. I didn't used to get them so often, but. You know. Our situation is our situation, even if it's shit. And they've never been the type to just go away with an aspirin, so I'm stuck just dealing with it, and we're going somewhere that isn't a gas station for the first time since we ran, and I've kind of been obsessing over it, which is so stupid-" she's been trying to keep her voice calm and her breathing slow so Chase doesn't sense the panic, but he does, inevitably. He wraps her into a hug and just holds her, and she breathes him in.

"We don't have to go today if you don't want to. We can wait." He says quietly.

"No, we really can't. We have a lot of things we really need, I'm just being stupid." Gert presses her face into his chest, trying, impossibly, to get closer. Chase is such a comfort, even just touching him makes her feel calmer.

He runs a hand over her hair and says intensely, "nothing you do is stupid."

Gert pulls back just a little and gives him a look. "That's sweet, but you and I both know that I can be very, very stupid, especially recently." She only kind of knows what she's trying to imply, but Chase seems to get it.

"Yeah?" He's got a careful smile across his face, and he leans in, just a little.

"Yeah, Chase," she says softly, tilting her chin upwards. They're so close, and she thinks, maybe, just for a second, that he might kiss her.

And then Alex ruins _everything._

"Hey, guys, we need to get you ready, get back here." He yells, and Gert immediately thinks _murder_.

They jolt apart like they've been shocked, and walk back to the campsite without looking at each other. Which would be a better way to kill Alex, drowning or a very large knife?

When they get to the campsite, Gert goes to the van find the wig, and she feels proud of herself for only _kind of_ stomping when she passes Alex. She does her hair in two French braids and pins back her bangs, then pulls on the wig. She checks herself out in the rear-view mirror, swishing her hair back and forth. She doesn’t hate the green, but she does hope she can find, like, a brown one or something soon. Green just feels too noticeable.

She goes to get the makeup she needs from Nico, but finds her and Karolina being gooshy while Karolina wipes Nico’s makeup off for her and lets out her hair. She snatched Nico’s little makeup bag from where it rests beside her, and goes to sit in the passengers seat to pull down the mirror and do her makeup.

Gert opens up the palette first and applies this glittery dark brown that she’s never seen Nico wear but is really, really pretty. She lines her eyes and puts on a coat of mascara, not even bothering to touch Nico’s Casper The Ghost shade of concealer. She rubs a bit of blush onto her cheeks, then starts looking through the weirdly large array of lipsticks. In fact, they’re what’s taking up half the space in the bag. She ends up picking a garnet shade that’s really creamy, and sticks it in her pocket in case she needs to reapply. She throws on a sweater over her flannel, pulling the collar through the neck hole. She kinds of looks like a preppy vampire, but she’s still killing it.

She steps out of the van, still shaking out the wig.

“Hey, Gert,” Alex calls from where he’s sitting by the fire. “Can I talk to you?” She nods and starts making her way towards him, but he points into the woods and stands, walking off. Gert is a little confused, but she follows him anyway.

He leads Gert about 20 feet away from the campsite, then stops, turning to her. "I have something that I want you to take with you today."

"That's ominous as hell, but okay, what?"

He pulls a box out of his bag and hands it to her. Curious, she looks inside, then snaps it back closed.

"Alex, what the fuck?" She looks around quickly, even though she knows no one is around. "I don't want this, take it back." She tries to push it back into his hands, but he won't take it.

"Listen, I know it might seem dangerous, but I'd feel a lot better about you guys going on this trip of you had it." His eyes are serious, and Gert looks down at the box again, and she hates herself for starting to considering it.

"Where did you even-? You know what, don't tell me. I don't want this, Alex. I can't." Her fingers dig into the edge of the box as she tightens her grip.

"Gert. What if something happens to you guys? Come on, you're the only one I trust with this."

"That is such bullshit, you just picked me because Nico would cuss you out and you're mad at Chase." You see, Gert _knows_ Alex. They've been friends for almost as long as she can remember, and she knows when he's trying to twist his words just the right way to get you to do what he wants. Gert hates that it's kind of working. His idea is actually starting to sound reasonable.

"Gert, listen," he says, putting a hand on her arm, "I genuinely believe you guys would be safer if you take it. I really am just looking out for you." Alex has this sincere look in his eyes, and his mouth is set. He's not going to let this go.

"I........................okay. But I'm not doing it again." She puts the box under her arm, and they walk back together. She won't talk to him, though, that much she can control.

 She carefully puts the box in her bag when they get back, and resolves not to think about it, at all, unless she needs it. She hopes with all that's in her that she won't.

"Hey, am I doing this right?" She hears Chase ask Nico. "I can't get it to clip." He's turned away from her, so Gert can't see what he's doing. He's already thrown on the duster, accentuating his broad shoulders, and it's setting something off in her.

"Why don't you go ask Gert to help you?"

What? Nico, this is literally your-"

"I'm busy. Go ask Gert." She kicks Chase in her direction and turns in Karolina's direction, who giggles.

Chase walks over to where Gert is sitting on a log in front of the fire and sits down next to her. "I'm trying to get this stupid lip ring in and it won't clip. And Nico wont help me. So. Help?" He looks almost scared to ask her, and Gert has to laugh.

"Hand it to me and move closer,  and let's see if we can get this in." He does as she asks, and she takes his chin in her hand so he doesn't move.

She pulls open the ring and clips it on his bottom lip easily, and only then does it occur to her how bad an idea this was. Chase looks _hot_ , with the scruff and the leather jacket and the fucking _lip ring,_ holy shit.

Gert jitters her hands away from his face and scoots back a bit. And then, because he wants to fucking kill her, he runs his tongue over his bottom lip slowly, almost like he's testing it out. Gert cannot stop staring. She's hit with this intense need to just jump him and make out with him, right here, right now, but she beats it down mentally with a steel baseball bat labeled 'repression.'

They're ready to leave ten minutes after that, Chase climbing behind the wheel. She sits in the passenger seat with her bag in her lap, trying her best not to focus on what's in it.

"So, what's our plan?" Chase asks when they're about halfway there.

"You're going to drop me off at the door so I can get a head start," Nico says from the back, "And then you and Gert will park about a mile away from the Walmart so the car doesn't get spotted, because it's safer if you go together. Then when you get there, you split up, because if each of us tackles our part of the list alone A) we're less likely to get recognized, and B) it'll take less time. Set? Okay, good." She doesn't even wait for a response, just goes back to fiddling with her jacket. Gert has to admit, Nico looks really, really good in non-goth clothes. She's got a red beanie pulled over her long hair, and she's wearing an old bomber with jeans, a t-shirt, and knock-off, thrift store converse. She looks very cool girl next door, and Gert is secretly very, very into it. Not like, _I have feelings for Nico_ into it, obviously, but she can admit to herself when she thinks a girl is hot, can't she?

They finally pull up to Walmart, and Nico hops out of the van, waving them goodbye.

Chase drives around the area for a while, looking for a place to park. Gert can't stop tapping her fingers, trying to get the nervousness out of her before they park.

"It's going to be fine, you know." Chase says as he finds a place to park on a road with nothing on it but a bodega, a dry cleaners, and a hair salon.

"I hope that you're right, but you understand that I won't believe you until we're all back safe, right?"

He nods, and they get out of the car to start making their way to Walmart.

Clearly trying to get her to feel calmer, Chase starts telling her shit jokes to make her laugh.

"Hey, Gert, how is imitation like a plateau?"

"I don't know, how?"

"They're both the highest forms of flattery." She snorts, and he takes it as incentive to keep going. "What do you call birds that stick together?"

She thinks for a second, then shrugs. "Vel-crows." It's not even that funny, but she still cracks up.

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?"

She shrugs, and he says, "A flat miner."

"Oh, that ones bad." she says around a smile.

"Yep, that's me, bad boy, can't you tell by my edgy, cool guy look?" He winks at her, and they both bust out laughing.

After a minute he asks, "So did you get your tickets?"

"To what?"

 

Chase flexes theatrically, showing off biceps the size of baseballs, even under the jacket, saying, "The gun-show," with a shit-eating grin.

 

She blushes and shoves him. "Shut up!"

 

They stop under an unlit streetlight for a second as a car passes by, the radio blaring some song that she's probably heard a thousand times but can't place. She catches ' _you a star just like-'_ and then the car is too far to hear it.

 

She stops staring after it to turn back to Chase, but when she does he's already looking at her. He's smiling, soft and fond, and it turns her insides to mush.

 

And then she looks past his shoulder and sees two guys in uniform. They're pretty far away, but they're walking in Gert and Chase's direction and _very_ obviously cops.

 

"Oh, fuck, police. Don't turn around!" She says frantically when Chase starts to move to look at them. "Um, okay, no alleys nearby, no store to walk into, what do we do what do we do........." she taps her fingers repetitively on her thigh as she tries to come up with an idea ASAP.

 

And then it comes to her. "I have an idea!" Gert says, and the street light above them flickers on. She'd laugh if she wasn't so nervous.

 

"Okay, what?"

 

"Just go along with it and _please_ don't get mad."

 

And then she kisses him. For a second Chase doesn't react, like, at all, and she's scared she's fucked up absolutely everything for the sake of a distraction. But then he leans closer, kissing her back and fuck, that's good. That lip ring is _definitely_ as hot as she thought it would be. His hands go around her waist, and Gert throws her arms around his neck. In kissing him, she can forget everything else. She can forget that they're on the run, she can forget about their parents, and just pretend that they're young lovers kissing because they want to, kissing because they're walking home from a date and can't help themselves, kissing because they each thought the other looked so fantastic tonight. She can pretend. It's all she's ever going to get, so she might as well.

 

She's kind of given up on Chase feeling the same way. She's been stupidly hopeful as of late, but it won't work out. She's just not.......enough for him. He's too good for her to have, that's for sure. She thinks she's probably always going to love _really like_ him, but it's been almost two weeks, now, and he still hasn't even tried to talk to her about what happened that night. And Gert knows that she could bring it up, but it's hard to convince herself to do it. She never manages to get past the _what if I fuck it up and everything goes wrong_ checkpoint.

 

The cops walk past without really noticing them, but they don't stop kissing. She knows she has to, though, knows that she can't just stay wrapped up in him even if she so desperately wants to.

 

She stops kissing him, then, because she knows if she doesn't she'll never be able to stop. They're still close, though, so close she can feel his breath on her mouth. Gert doesn't want to open her eyes and go back to a world where this won't ever happen again, but she has to. She has to. She has to- her eyes still aren't open.

 

"We should probably..........." Chase whispers, and Gert is already pulling away. The glare of the streetlight no longer feels like a lightbulb turning on to accompany a good idea. It's more like a bright spotlight directly on her while she's standing on a stage before a jeering crowd.

 

They walk the rest of the way without talking, and Gert does her best to avoid eye contact. They split up when they walk in without really saying anything to each other. She hates it. She should have done something else, should have thought of something other than that article she read talking about how uncomfortable PDA can make other people, should have- you know what? She's done thinking about this. She's not going to stress over this, she's decided.

 

She finds the stuff on her list that are top priority first.  Before she'd gone to bed last night, she'd rewritten the entire thing in order of what they need the most, then split that into three separate lists with everything on them reordered, again, but she's fine, right? She totally doesn't need her meds, nah.

 

And then she goes to find some of the things that she wants, not needs.  She picks up two dozen bundles of severely discounted brightly coloured string to make bracelets with, because she's sick of not having anything to do with her hands. She starts to head to the media section with her cart when she passes the third Arts and Crafts aisle and stops.

 

She turns the cart and starts down the aisle slowly, looking at the carefully stacked rows of colourful yarn, the crochet hooks, the knitting magazines, and the big knitting needles. She stops and stares at a pair of wooden ones and suddenly she can hear the clacking and her mother's voice in her ear. It's been so long since she's flashed back to those moments that it catches her by surprise, and her eyes get a little misty.

 

When she told Chase that she never knew her birth mother, she was lying. She did. She doesn't remember much, she was only two or three when she died. Well, her parents told Gert that she died. But they've lied about a lot of things, so she might still be out there. She doesn't know what she'd do if she was.

 

Gert remembers Carmen Mendes through glimpses. Calloused hands wrapped around knitting needles, her soft voice singing a lullaby, her fluffy black hair that smelled like violets. She only knows what she looks like because of an old photo of the two of them, which still resides in her wallet. She’s so glad she took that wallet with her, even if it only has about thirty dollars in it.  She wonders, sometimes, what it would be like if she was still with her, how different she would be. Because her parents love her, she knows they do, even if she doesn't want them to. It would be easier to hate them if they didn't. But her mother was her mother, and when she left she took the best hugs and recipes that had been passed down for generations and songs in Spanish on the radio. Gert doesn't remember a lot, but she remembers enough to know that the heart of Gertrude Mendes still beats inside her, somewhere. She thinks she'd like to find it again.

 

So she puts the needles in her cart along with a big bundle of soft green yarn and an instructional booklet, and resolves to pay for them with her own money, because logically she knows this would be a waste of money, but emotionally she just wants something to feel connected to, something that makes her forget how untethered and scared she is. The only thing that's been keeping her going since they ran is that she has a family that she has to protect, so maybe it isn't so bad that she wants to feel connected to the family that protected her first.

 

She goes to find the CDs in the media section next, pulling out her list so she knows what she's looking for.

 

_Molly- Carly Rae Jepsen_

_Nico- Stevie Nicks_

_Chase- Dolly Parton_

_Alex- Weezer_

_Karolina-_ _The Beatles_ _The Beach Boys_

 

Gert will apologize later, there was just no way she would be able to listen to The Beatles and not drive the van into a tree. The only acceptable song out of their whole discography is Hey Jude, and that's only acceptable because Molly really loves it. And besides, Nico likes The Beach Boys, Gert recognized that song from the other night, and Karolina likes anything Nico does.

 

"Oh, I love jazz." Some random guy is looking over her shoulder at the ’100 Essential Jazz Ballads’ CD that she’s chosen for herself in her hand, and she immediately steps away. He looks around her age, lanky and white and just ugly enough to consider her approachable. She needs to get away from him _right now._ He may look mostly harmless, but no one is when you're being framed for murder and could get discovered at any moment. 

 

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Gert is trying her best to keep her tone polite, but she can tell the face she's making is intimidating because the boy shrinks back a little. Not enough, though.

 

"No, you don't, but I dunno. I'm here waiting for my mom to finish up, I didn't really want to go clothes shopping in a Walmart with a 47 year old, so I wandered over here. And you looked my age and definitely cute, so......." He's rambling, the words coming out super fast.

 

"Uh. Okay. Considering you said you're here with your mom and you're wearing a Thrasher hoodie, I'm gonna assume that you guessed wrong on the age thing, because I'm twenty." It's a bald faced lie, but maybe if he thinks she's older he'll leave her alone.

 

He blushes, and sticks out a hand for her to shake. "Well, I guess friends it is then. I'm Jamie."

 

She looks down at his outstretched hand and decides very resolutely not to shake it. "Carmen."

 

"Well, Carmen, where are going that you need jazz music? Got a speakeasy you frequent?" She knows he's probably just making conversation, but it feels like an interrogation. Luckily, she spots Chase in the aisle across from them, clearly giving her the eye as he decides whether or not she needs help.

 

"Oh, sorry, I just spotted my boyfriend." She says, just to make it more clear to this guy that she's not available to him. "Hey, Mason!" She calls, manoeuvring her cart away from Jamie and over to where Chase stands. 

 

Jamie doesn't follow, but he does keep staring after her, so she grabs Chase’s hand and says, “I told that guy you were my boyfriend so he’d back off, just hold my hand until we get out of his sight line?”

 

"O-okay. I'm almost done with my list, by the way."

 

She leans in closer to get a look at it, and sees that Chase only has three more items to cross off. "I'm like, completely done if you want company."

 

"Wow, that was quick."

 

"Well, I'm fast. Camping aisle next, right?"

 

They start to make their way there, chatting idly and completely ignoring the fact that not an hour ago they were heavily making out under a street light.

 

They're three aisles away from where they started when she realizes they're still holding hands. She should probably let go, but it feels so natural, and Chase is doing this thing with his thumb that's so soothing. So she tells herself that she won't let go until he does.

 

"I don't know why it isn't here. I mean, it's a portable stove, where else are you gonna use that but on a camping trip?" Chase says as they stare at one side of the aisle.

 

"Are you sure it wasn't in the other aisle?"  
 

"No, we just checked it, and-"

 

"Do you kids need some help?" Asks a lady wearing an employee vest. She's probably in her late fifties, with a head of short snow white hair that makes her look like someone's grandmother. Hell, she probably is.

 

"Uh, no, thank-"

 

"Yes, we do, we're looking for the portable stoves?" Chase interrupts her, and when she gives him a look that clearly says _what the fuck are you doing this will get us recognized and I_ ** _will_** _blame you,_ he just squeezes her hand and gives her a placating look.

 

The lady leads them to the next aisle, which, by the way, is where Gert said to look not two minutes ago, but whatever.

 

"So these are the cast iron ones, they work really well, great quality, and these are the Jaccards, which are very durable, and there's a few other types, but why don't you kids tell me what you're looking for in terms of price and quality and we'll go from there."

 

"Nothing more than thirty dollars and able to withstand a little jostling." Gert says, before Chase 'worse than Lucille Bluth and her ten dollar bananas' Stein can say sixty dollars in the assumption that that is cheap.

 

"Well, then, I think the EMF is what you're looking for, only 29$, although it might be a bit more with the refills, but they're not very expensive." She hands the box to Chase, and he looks it over.

 

"Sounds great, thank you so much!" Gert says, plucking the box out of Chase's hands and dropping it in the cart, then swerving hers away and pulling Chase by the hand to make sure he follows her.

 

“Okay, we escaped, you can drop the customer service voice now.” Chase jokes.

 

“Hey, I’m allowed to use my customer service voice whenever I want, I worked the night shift at Burger King for a year and a half. Do you know the type of people that come to Burger King at 2:00AM? Trust me, you do not want to.” He laughs, and it’s the best thing she’s ever heard. 

 

“Hey, it’s your birthday soon, right?” When they’d walked in, she had seen the Christmas decorations and got hit with this wave of _what the fuck._ And when she’d asked the greeter the date, he’d looked at her weird and said it was Christmas Eve. Which means she missed Chanukah. It’s the first year she hasn’t celebrated it, and it makes her feel odd, like something’s missing. She hates it. She very secretly wishes that they had pushed back running away just for a couple weeks so her and Molly could have Chanukah, but there’s no way she’ll say anything about it. Especially not to Molly, she’s not going to even tell her.

 

But it being Christmas Eve also means that it’s Chase’s birthday in three days. December 27th, almost seventeen years ago, the universe sighed in happiness as it’s new favourite came into the world. And she knows that that’s not fair, and that Chase has had some bullshit to go through. But sometimes, with the whole perfect face, great body, awesome personality combo going on, it feels like maybe he got a little too much luck when he was being created.

 

“Yeah, in three days. I don’t expect anything, by the way. Not that I think that you think that I would, I just-“

 

Gert squeezes his hand and says, “I get what you’re trying to say. You want a cake and thirty seven presents and if you don’t get them you’re leaving the group.” His eyes go comically wide, and she bursts out laughing.

 

“Hey, I’m just messing with you. Chill, I get it. Is your list finished? We should probably split up for checkout, huh?” Gert can feel the disappointment rising, but she squashes it down.

 

“Yeah, I guess we should.” She lets go of his hand, and it feels unnatural, and that little voice in her head keeps telling her to take it back and never let go. But she doesn’t. Instead, she starts to walk away from him, and makes herself not look back. 

 

They meet up outside the Walmart with their many, many bags. But it’s not like they could take the carts a mile away, right?

 

“You guys get everything?” Nico asks. She looks a bit keyed up as they start to make their way to the van.

 

“Yeah,” Gert and Chase say at the same time, then share a look.

 

“Oh, Chase, what’s that on your face?” Nico asks, squinting at him. He shrugs.

 

Nico steps closer, then gasps and says, “Oh my God, you guys made out.”

 

“What? How could you possibly know that?” Gert’s voice is a little too high, and she’s not proud of it.

 

“Your lipstick is, like, all across his mouth, dude. Decompress.” She speeds up so she’s ahead of them both, almost like she wants to give them room to talk. They don’t. They just steal glances at each other. Chase probably thinks he’s being secretive, but Gert totally notices.

 

What she doesn't notice, though, is when Nico disappears from her line of sight. One minute she's there, and when Gert looks back she's gone. Gert and Chase look at each other, wide eyed in fear. Where did she go?

 

And then she hears it. Nico's voice, muffled but frantic, and insults coming from a deep voice that is certainly not anyone they know.

 

They run towards the sound into an alley up the street, and find some creep holding Nico tight to his right side as she fights to get him to let go. But he's a big man, and it's not working.

 

Before she can even think, before she can even come up with a plan, she reaches into her bag and pulls out Alex's box and snaps it open.

 

And then she grabs the gun.

 

She turns off the safety, pointing it and yelling, "Hey, fuckface!"

 

"Gert, what the hell?!" Chase says. Nico just looks relieved that they're here.

 

"Let her go!" Her hands shake. Why did she decide this was the best plan, again?

 

"Aw, come on, girlie, you wouldn't shoot-" She aims for his left foot and hopes for the best as she pulls the trigger.

 

It hits him square in the foot and he screeches, letting go of Nico. She runs back to them, grabs her bags from where the man made her drop them, and they sprint the rest of the way to the van. They don't say one word to each other until Chase has pulled out of the parking spot and started driving in the direction of the highway.

 

Her and Nico sit in the back, and Gert keeps a protective hand on the box in her lap. She'd put it back in as soon as she got in the car, making sure to turn the safety back on. She's pretty sure that the others are just as shell shocked as she is.

 

"Where did you even get a gun?" Nico asks. Her voice is level, and quiet, and Gert can tell that she's definitely freaking out on the inside right now.

 

"Alex gave it to me, said I should take it in case we needed it. I guess he was right, but........................" She stares down at the box, and tries not to think about how she felt when she was holding that gun, filled to the brim with power and terrified of it. She felt like it was going to take control over her. She can't believe she actually shot that guy. "And don't ask me where he got it, but I'm guessing it's from the same mysterious benefactor as the frankly _huge_ amount of money he just somehow acquired. I really hope he didn't do something stupid for this stuff."

 

Nico nods, wiping a little at her eyes, and leans her head on Gert's shoulder. They spend the rest of the ride in complete silence, even though she can tell Chase has something he wants to say. She can't gauge what, though.

 

When they get back and get out of the van, Alex is the only one there, saying something about Molly and Karolina being out on the cliff-side. Nico stalks off to find them, and Chase pulls Gert aside.

 

"Are you okay?" He asks softly.

 

"I'm...................I'm fine." She isn't. She _shot_ someone, how could she be?

 

"Gert, You shot that guy, how could you be fine?" He's standing so close, and suddenly all Gert wants is a hug.

 

She wraps her arms around his waist and holds tight, and for a second he doesn't react. And then he carefully puts his arms around her, moving a hand up and down her back, and it's so soothing. Everything about Chase is soothing to her, and it hurts.

 

She lets the tears fall, lets herself be vulnerable, just lets herself _be._ Here, in his arms, she can stop pretending, just for a minute. Even if she knows it's all she's going to get.

 

~~~~~

 

It is 9:30 at night and her and Molly are doing yoga. Karolina doesn't know why _this_ is what Molly wanted to be doing, but she's not going to question it.

 

She's standing in tree pose when she hears footsteps. She turns to the sound and sees Nico running toward her. 

 

She jumps into Karolina’s arms and holds tight, and Karolina thinks she hears her crying.

 

“Oh, honey, what happened?” The pet name slips out before she can stop it, but she figures it’s applicable, since Nico is literally breaking down in her arms right now. She sees Molly slip into the woods in the direction of the campsite, giving her an encouraging thumbs up.

 

“The trip went really bad.” Nico says hoarsely. “I think I could’ve died? It was terrifying.”

 

“Woah, what do you mean you could have died? I misheard you just then, right?” Her voice is shakier than she would like it to be.

 

“On the way back to the van, um, there was this guy. And I was pretty far ahead of Gert and Chase, so, um, he grabbed me. I don’t know what would’ve happened if Gert didn’t have a gun. Which was almost as scary, by the way, fuck. So, yeah. My night sucked, how about you?”

 

“You don’t have to deflect, you know. You can just be upset for a bit.” She says, because Nico has this thing where if something makes her upset she immediately wants to focus on something else, unless she can target it. But Karolina knows that it isn’t very healthy.

 

“Okay,” Nico breathes, and curls closer.

 

Karolina feels Nico's breathing slow down, and she starts drawing little patterns into her back with the tips of her fingers.

 

"Hey, Karolina?" Her voice is soft.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Um, so. Tonight kind of made me think about some things?" Oh. That doesn't sound............great.

 

".................................Okay? And?" Her fingers dig a little deeper into Nico's back.

 

" _And,_ um, I.......................want you to be my girlfriend. I really, really like you Karolina, and I want it to be official, like, that really scared me, tonight, and if something really bad had happened, and-"

 

Karolina pulls back to cup Nico's face and kiss her. Nico's hands curl into the front of her shirt as she presses closer, and Karolina sees her go up on her tiptoes, which, cute.

 

"Is that a yes?" Nico asks as she pulls back, a little smile on her face. She's beautiful. Karolina has always thought so, even when she was tricking herself into thinking she was straight. She's got this thing about her, like she's the stars incarnate, bright and gorgeous and so intoxicating Karolina just wants to stare at her all day. She doesn't, because that would be creepy, but she would if she could.

 

"Well, what do you think?" Karolina says around a smile.

 

"Still need to hear you say it," Nico sing-songs.

 

Karolina kisses her nose and says, "Yes, Nico, light of my life, prettiest girl in the world, I would love to be your girlfriend." Nico blushes _hard._

 

"W-well, I think you misjudged that, because _you're_ the prettiest girl in the world."

 

Karolina chokes on air as she tries to thank her, and Nico giggles. It's the best sound in the world.

 

 They walk back to the van slowly, stopping in their tracks whenever one decides they want a kiss, which is just a great feeling, to be able to do that.

 

Everyone is already piled into the van when they get to the van, most of them asleep barring Gert, who sits in the front seat making a bracelet.

 

"Are you sleeping tonight?" Karolina whispers as her and Nico get in the van. Gert shakes her head.

 

"I don't think I'll be able to. Besides, someone should keep watch." It's a flimsy excuse. But Karolina lets her have it, just this once. She curls up next to Nico, who wraps her in her arms immediately, and Karolina feels safe.

 

The next morning she wakes up early, Old Lace carefully following her out of the back to go hunt. She says good morning to Gert, who's still up, holy shit, and heads out to the cliff-side for her yoga.

 

She watches the sun rise in the stretching cat pose, and she feels at peace. The sky is an angry red, which isn't great for them, but right now it's very pretty. She knows it's going to get bad out soon, so she enjoys this ephemeral beauty while it lasts.

 

And then it is catastrophically ruined.

 

"Hey, aren't you Karolina Dean? I saw you on the news last night!" It's an old man with a dog, but that's all she notices as she pops up and starts sprinting back to the campsite. She hears him yell, "Hey, wait!" But there's no way in hell she's stopping.

 

She checks to make sure there's nothing out of the van, throws the passenger side door open, jumps in, and says, "I just got spotted, floor it, we have to fucking leave!" to Gert, who immediately starts the car and pulls out recklessly onto the dirt road that leads to the highway.

 

She pulls out onto the highway and starts speeding down the road, her eyes completely focused on what’s in front of her. They drive for about an hour before anyone else wakes up.

 

“Why the fuck are we on the road right now?” Alex asks sleepily from the back. He doesn’t move from where he’s curled up in a little ball against the back seat.

 

“Because Rainbow Brite over here got spotted, and I don’t know about you, but I didn’t want to go to jail today.” Gert’s voice is harsh, and Karolina realizes that she’s been up for more than twenty four hours, now. That has to take a toll.

 

Gert revs the engine, and they go impossibly faster.

 

“You can slow down, you know.” Karolina says carefully. She, understandably, doesn’t want to die in a fiery crash today.

 

Gert hands tighten around the wheel, then relax. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just……..” She drums her fingers against the wheel as she makes a turn, and Karolina puts her hand on her arm.

 

“I get it. Just be more careful, okay?” Gert nods, but she doesn’t stop tapping against the wheel. She does slow down, though, so small victories.

 

“Do you want me to put in a CD? What did you get music-wise yesterday?”

 

“They’re in the glove compartment. Did Nico tell you what happened last night?” 

 

She starts rummaging through the glove compartment to find the CD cases, and says, “She told me about the gun, yeah. Where is it?” She asks softly as she opens up the Stevie Nicks case and pops it in, _Whole Lotta Trouble_ starting up.

 

“Under the seat. I’m gonna talk to Alex about it later.” Gert is back to hyper focusing on the road in front of her, and Karolina kind of wants to take her mind off the gun.

 

“So, Nico told me about what happened with you and Chase last night.” She says teasingly, shaking her shoulders a little bit.

 

“Uuuggghh, whyyy? Can’t I have any privacy?” But she’s hiding a smile, so Karolina takes that as incentive.

 

“Nope, never. So, how was it? Are you guys, like, together now?”

 

Gert slumps against the seat and says, “No, we’re not. And……….I don’t know if we will be? I mean, I want to be. Fuck, do I want to be. But we hooked up almost two weeks ago and he hasn’t said shit to me about it. So, I guess………..” she says it quietly, probably so she doesn’t wake up the rest of the group.

 

“Gertie,” she puts her hand on Gert’s arm. “Couldn’t _you_ talk to _him?_ ” But Gert shakes her head.

 

“I already played my part. If he wants this, he comes after me. And besides, I don’t know what I’d do if he didn’t feel the same way. And I’m not even, like, good enough for him. Why would he date me?” Gert’s voice is kind of panicky, and Karolina can she's only letting all this slip out because of how tired she is.

 

“Gert, that’s the most bullshit thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

 

“Oh?”

 

She turns the radio off and turns to her. “First of all, you are good enough for Chase, that’s so stupid, why would you even say that. Second of all, Chase has been completely and utterly obsessed with you since we were eight. He likes you. Talk to him.”

 

“………..Okay.”

 

“Do you believe me?” 

 

“Sort of.” She kind of wants to shake her so she finally understands, but Gert is driving, so she doesn’t. 

 

Gert looks back to where everyone’s sleeping, and her eyes go wide.

 

“Where’s Old Lace?” She shrieks.

 

Oh, fuck. 

 

“We have to go back, we have to go back, we have to-“ Gert is looking frantically around for a way to turn around, but Karolina puts her arm across her chest.

 

“We are not going back there, you know we can’t. Old Lace will find you, you have a connection, remember?”

 

“Yeah, but what if something happens to her? What if she gets hurt, or seen, and I’m not there,

and-"

 

“Park the car.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re freaking out and haven’t slept in twenty four hours, you’re not going to be behind the wheel. I’ll wake up Alex.” Gert nods and pulls over on the side of the road. The person behind them honks, but Karolina doesn’t care. 

 

They both get out of the car, and Karolina leads her by the shoulders to the back, telling her repeatedly that Old Lace will be fine, and Gert climbs in and curls up next to Chase. Chase immediately shifts so she’s more comfortable, and Karolina just does not understand them at all.   

 

She half climbs in to flick Alex on the cheek, hard. 

 

“Ow!” He jolts awake and rubs at his cheek. “What the fuck, Karo?”

 

“Get up, you’re driving.” He groans, but gets out of the car anyways. She carefully closes the door again and gets back in the passenger seat.

 

Alex climbs in and grabs the Weezer disc, popping it in and turning up the volume. He turns back onto the road, one hand lax on the wheel. 

 

He yawns and says, “How long was she driving, anyways?”

 

“Only a couple of hours, but she’s been up since yesterday morning.” 

 

“Again? Fuck.”

 

“Well, I’d say this time is more due to that gun you gave her. You know she shot someone, right?” Alex jerks the wheel on accident, and his eyes are wide as he course-corrects. 

 

“No, I did not know she _shot someone._ Was it……..was it fatal?” His voice cracks.

 

“Not unless you count the guy losing a couple toes as fatal. But it must’ve stressed her the hell out, and I mean, I get why. Imagine you have to use a gun on someone for the first time ever, and you're scared and someone you care about might get hurt and- woah, are you okay?"

 

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Don't, uh, don't worry about it." He wipes at his eyes, and Karolina feels like she should probably push it, but she also feels like she's not the most qualified for that.

 

Her and Alex are friends, yes, but even before they were never close. And now, with her dating Nico and him having dated her, and this whole 'kept a secret from us for two years' thing, she definitely doesn't think that she's the one who should be having a heavy conversation with him. Maybe Gert should, or Nico, whoever, just somebody other than her. She wants to be friends with Alex, she does, but it just feels like they got off to on the wrong foot, and she doesn't know how to restart.

 

"Hey, so, you and Nico, huh?" From him, she'd expect that to be harsh, maybe a little bitter. But he just sounds like he's being friendly, which is nice.

 

"Yeah, me and Nico." She nods awkwardly.

 

"Can I ask you something? Nothing jerk-y, I promise." Uh-huh, sure. She believes him.

 

"Okay, shoot."

 

"Is she happy?" The words come out softly, and he won't look at her, resolutely keeping his eyes on the road.

 

"Oh." That is not what Karolina thought he would ask. Maybe something about how they got together, if they were officially girlfriends, maybe something kind of insensitive in Alex's straight boy way. But not that. "Yeah, I.................I think she is. Or, I hope at least.” 

 

“That’s good, I’m glad. You don’t have to worry about me, by the way. I’m not gonna, like, steal your girl or anything. Especially since any chance of Nico feeling that way about me ever again is long dead in a ditch.”

 

“Uh. Good for me, I guess?” 

 

Alex cracks up, hitting the wheel, and she hears a muffled ‘shut up’ from Nico in the back.

 

And then the rain that she'd predicted that morning starts to fall, and it feels like a new start.

 

~~~~~

 

Molly wakes up to the sound of rain pounding the roof of the van. 

 

It's nice to wake up to. It reminds her of when she was small, and she was terrified of thunderstorms. But Gert wasn't, so every time there was a storm they would stay up under the blankets, and Gert would make up stories about the two of them. She's pretty sure if she rally rooted around in her brain for them she could find a plethora of tales about Princess Molly and Gert the Knight, saving dragons from rotten princes and freeing princesses from bad marriages.

 

Molly wishes she could go back to that, go back to the easy and uncomplicated. She wants to go _home._ But not a home with her parents who kill children, not a home where she could get hurt, not a home where her parents don't even want her around. She wants to go back in time, full rewind, to when she didn't know, as Chase might say, 'shit about shit'. But time travel isn't real, obviously, so she can't. The other kids would probably yell at her for swearing, but she's doing it in her head, and last she checked Gert only had psychic powers regarding Old Lace, so.

 

"How long have we been on the road?" She asks Karolina in the front seat as she sits up. Karolina looks kind of frazzled, her hair thrown in a messy ponytail and the circles under her eyes are kind of really dark.

 

"Like, nine hours. You should go back to sleep, Molls." Her voice is extraordinarily tired, and Molly makes a decision.

 

She stands and reaches to pick up Karolina, grabbing her in a bridal carry before Karolina can argue, and placing her next to Nico. Karolina starts to argue, but Nico curls an arm around her and then she's completely conked. The next thing she does is force Alex to pull over.

 

"What, why?" He yawns, then says, "I'm fine." But his eyes are drooping, and he's slouching. Alex is not a sloucher.

 

"Alex, you're not supposed to lie to children, you know. It says that in the good book."

 

"The Bible?"

 

"No, Cosmopolitan. Pull over."

 

Alex sighs and pulls over, and him and Molly get out of the car. She leads him to the back and makes him lie down. And then she wakes up Chase. She does it gently, because he's snuggled up with Gert and her sister deserves some sleep. He grumbles and curls closer to Gert, and while it's, like, cute and everything, Molly needs a driver.

 

"Chase, wake up, you big baby. I need you to drive."

 

"Ugh, fine." Chase carefully pulls away from Gert, but she immediately tries to tug him back. He looks like he'd much prefer to just stay there with her for the rest of his life, but he catches Molly's eye and she raises her eyebrows and purses her lips to say _I'm waiting._ So he pulls out of her grip very, very carefully, pulling the blanket up around her shoulders and sweeping her hair away from her face.

 

Chase reluctantly gets out of the back and gets into the front seat and pulls back onto the road.

 

"You know, that look you do makes you look almost exactly like her."

 

"Really?" Molly likes the idea of reminding someone of Gert, although it might just be that Chase sees Gert in everything. But she's going to hold that compliment in her heart for a long time, probably, because her sister is really, really great.

 

"Yeah. The whole _do what I tell you or there will be dire consequences_ look? You've got it down pat." He gives her a smile as he makes a turn.

 

"Well, thanks. Hey, can I put on some music?" She doesn't care if he says yes or not. She's already got the disc in her hand and she's popping it into the player, Carly Rae's sweet, sweet chops blasting.

 

Chase turns it down a little, and says, "I don't want them waking up, okay?"  
 

She giggles and says, "Them meaning the group or specifically your girlfriend?"

 

Chase sighs. "Gert isn't my girlfriend, Molls."  
 

"Uh-huh, and I'm the freaking Queen of Sheba. I don't get you guys, if you like each other so much then why don't you just go kiss about it or whatever?" She crosses her arms and looks out the window while Chase splutters. She spots Old Lace in the trees and waves, even though she knows she can't see her.

 

"Well, it's not that I don't want to, but some stuff happened, and I'm giving her time, you know? I really like her, I don't want to mess things up. And besides, I don't even know if she actually has feelings for me, anyways." He sniffles a little. Oh, poor Chase. For someone who’s supposed to be smart, he’s awful stupid.

 

"Don't worry, she likes your butt and fancy hair. I know, I read her diary."

 

"Well, I wouldn't call it- wait, were you just quoting Lilo And Stitch at me? God, I haven't thought about that movie in ages."

 

"Yeah, if we ever find a permanent place to stay with a television we should watch it." She hopes they find a home soon. She's sick of camping and sleeping in a van and having no privacy and almost everything about their current situation, really.

 

"Don't worry, squirt," Chase says, patting her knee, "We'll find someplace to stay soon, I can feel it."

 

Molly sighs and says, "Okay. So, I have a question for you." She fiddles with Elian as she asks it.

 

"Okay, shoot."

 

"Are you, like, committed to wanting to be with Gert? Because I need to know you're not going to break her heart just because you think she's pretty."

 

He sighs and says, "Of course I'm committed. I really like her. I always have, and for the record, I've always thought she's pretty, too." He smiles at her, and Molly smiles back. "But it's not totally up to me whether we start dating or not, you know? And I don't even know if she actually likes me, anyways."

 

Molly scoffs. "You both are so stupid, she said the exact same-" realizing what she's just Done, she slaps a hand over her mouth and wills herself to shut up. She is so awful with secrets, what the heck. There's a huge difference between joking around with a Disney quote and actually telling the boy your sister likes that she likes him, so Molly just isn't going to speak ever again, nuh-uh.

 

 


	3. CHAPTER THREE

"Uh, Molly? You wanna elaborate on that?" _Please mean what I think it means please mean what I think it means please mean what I think it means._

 

But Molly, instead of being kind and giving him a straight answer, please for the love of God will someone give him a straight answer, shakes her head, staring resolutely out the window.

 

Chase sighs and makes a turn, wishing Molly was just a little bit less loyal.

 

He drives until sunrise, Molly reading with the light on in the passenger seat. He's pretty sure the book is Gert's, judging by the size. He thinks he saw her buy it last time they went to a thrift shop, he remembers the cover.

 

"Have you eaten today?" He asks Molly around ten in the morning.

 

"Do you mean since we've been on the road or since the sun rose?"

 

"First one."

 

"Then yes." She pulls a huge bag of trail mix from behind her seat and starts munching.

 

"That's not a meal, Molly."

 

"What's not a meal?" Gert says groggily from the back. Chase hears shuffling, and suddenly she pops up and leans on Molly's seat, grabbing the pack of mints off the dash and popping one in her mouth. Her hair is an absolute mess, her eyes are only half open, and she's still wearing her pyjamas. She's beautiful.

 

"Trail mix. Will you tell Molly that-"

 

"Oooh, trail mix, awesome, I'm starving." She snatches the bag out of Molly's hand and starts snacking.

 

Chase laughs and says, "Y'all really are sisters, huh?" He means to say 'you two', but he's been driving for hours and his brain is a little addled. He's fine to drive, his thoughts are just a bit wonked.

 

"Did you just say 'y'all'? Wow, Molly, I can't believe Chase is a cowboy now." The two of them burst into giggles, and Chase sighs.

 

"That's going to turn into a nickname, isn't it?"

 

"You bet, cowboy." Gert ruffles his hair, and he desperately wants to kiss her. The way she's looking at him, and her smile, it just all adds up, you know?

 

And then he remembers that he's driving, so he turns his eyes back on the road and tries his best not to focus on how close she is right now, hanging over Molly's seat.

 

"Hey, Molls, how long have you been up?"

 

Molly counts on her fingers, then says, "Since about seven o'clock last night."

 

Gert blows out a breath and lightly whaps both Molly and Chase on the back of the head.

 

"Ow!" They say in unison.

 

"Go in the back and get some sleep. You can stay," she says to Chase, "But you're on thin fucking ice.  I just don't want to deal with Alex yet, and Karolina can't drive for shit."

 

"Hey, don't swear around the baby." Chase says, and Molly flicks him on the forehead, _hard,_ as she gets in the back.

 

"I could literally throw you across a football field, don't push me."

 

Molly settles in the back with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and Gert climbs into the passenger seat with a plastic Walmart bag in her hands. She pulls out a red and white book that kind of looks like a textbook, a bundle of yarn, and knitting needles. She opens the first page and starts reading.

 

"Since when do you knit?"

 

"I don't, not really, but you know. I've kind of been needing something to do with my hands, and we have so much free time now.............And don't worry about costs, or whatever, I had some cash left in my wallet."

 

"I wasn't going to bother you about the money, Gert."

 

"Oh."

 

"Yeah, I mean, it was just a book and some yarn, how much could it have cost? Sixty dollars?" He jokes, because he remembers the summer they stayed up all night together watching Arrested Development.

 

As predicted, she cracks up, a stupid kind of laugh that makes him smile.

 

"No, but really, it was only like, twenty bucks. There was a sale." She starts casting on, wrapping the yarn around her thumb and picking up the yarn with the needle. She's surprisingly good at it for a first try.

 

"You're, uh, you're pretty great at that." Oh, that's such a fucking awkward kind of compliment, why is he like this.

 

"Ha, thanks, it's in my blood, I guess- forget I said that." Her smile drops, and her hand stills.

 

"What do you mean?" 'In her blood'...........................didn't she say she didn't know any biological relatives?

 

"I really don't want to talk about it. Maybe later, okay?" With Gert that usually means 'I will never mention this again', but he really doesn't want to make her more upset, so he doesn't push it.

 

"Okay, Gert." He reaches over and pats her knee, then realizes what he's doing and jitters his hand away. Chase is often jittery around her, though he doesn't know why. He's known her ever since he can remember, why should he be nervous to touch her? Even when they were............together, he could feel his shoulders shake as he kissed her. He's not going to think about that right now, though, because for one, he's driving and for two, Gert would definitely notice if he had any sort of reaction.

 

"Ugh, it's too early for Carly Rae Jepsen, I'm putting in my disc." She fumbles around in the glove compartment for a second, grabbing her disc and pressing the button to get Molly's to pop out. She puts it back in the right case and puts in her disc, and Etta James starts to croon from the speaker.

 

"You realize it's only ten thirty, right?"

 

"Yeah, that's early. Jeesh, you're such an athlete."

 

"What does that even mean?" But he's smiling. He can't take insults from her seriously any more, not when they're said in that cute grumpy voice of hers.

 

"It means that your athleticism gave you morning person tendencies, and I despise you for it." She sticks her tongue out at him, and it's unbearably cute.

 

"Uh-huh, sure. Hey, is that my sweater?" It sure looks like his sweater, it's way too big for her, and he remembers picking it out at the thrift shop.

 

She tugs at the sleeve and grumbles, "I got cold. And besides, we all share everything, anyways."

 

"It looks good on you." He doesn't mean to say it out loud, but Gert blushes and smiles this secret kind of smile, just for him.

 

"Thanks, Chase." She says quietly.

 

He keeps driving, and they chat quietly as she knits. Eventually, they discuss whether or not they should find a place to stop.

 

"I mean, it's been two days, right? Shouldn't we stop?"

 

"Yeah, we should," she sighs, "I'm just worried for dumb reasons. We're like, forever and a mile away from where that guy spotted us. You can pull into the woods once you see a trail and the roads empty."

 

"It's not dumb that you're worrying, Gert."

 

"No, it is, I'm overthinking it because I can't make myself stop. Wait, is your birthday tomorrow?"  
 

Oh, yeah. Chase completely forgot. That's kind of sad, huh?

 

"Yeah, it is. Why?"

 

"Because Molly's going to want to do something. Karolina too, probably, you know how they get. I can tell them to back off if you're uncomfortable with the inevitable hullabaloo, if you want me to." _Hullabaloo._ That's such a Gert word.

 

"No, no, it's fine. I think it'll be kind of nice, actually. Haven't had any friends around for my birthday in two years, so I think I'd like a hullabaloo."

 

"What do you mean no one was around for your birthday?" She's got that crease between her eyebrows right now that Chase always wants to smooth out whenever it appears.

 

"My birthday is too close to Christmas, everyone was always away on holiday."

 

"It was never too close for us." She breathes, almost like she said it accidently.

 

"Yeah, but we've already established that they were shitty people, so I guess the Hamptons being more important than me makes sense." He turns the wheel with one hand and taps against the arm rest with the other. Gert lightly wraps her hand around his and squeezes. He looks at her, and she's smiling at him, all warm and comforting, and yeah, okay, Chase is fucking enamoured.

 

"Oh hey, this looks moderately okay." There's no one behind or in front of him, so he turns onto the dirt trail. Gert doesn't let go of his hand.

 

He parks in a small area with trees surrounding it, big enough for Old Lace and a campfire.

 

"I'll wake up the kids if you get started on lunch." Gert says, unbuckling her seatbelt one handed. She still hasn't let go of his hand, and he wonders if it's because she's forgotten she's doing it or because she doesn't want to let go. He hopes it's the second one.

 

"Gert, both Nico and Alex are older than you."

 

"And yet they act like toddlers." He barks out a laugh as they get out of the car. Chase opens up the back to get the portable stove, pancake mix, and a bottle of water. The bag of pancake mix is huge, it's going to last them so long. Chase is kind of proud of himself for finding it on sale.

 

As he starts setting up, Alex, Molly, and Karolina stumble out of the van. He hears Gert trying to wake up Nico, too, to no avail.

 

"Nico, you've been asleep for two days. Wake the fuck up."

 

"No."

 

"Come on, get out of the van, see the sunshine," Gert is tugging at her arm, but Nico isn't budging. "Nico, you're not a real vampire, you can withstand being outside in the daytime, get out of the van." He hears a long, loud sigh, and Nico rolls out of the van. She practically crawls over to Karolina and flops against her.

 

"Alex, take Molly and get some firewood, would you? It's freezing- oh my gosh!" Old Lace comes stomping onto the campsite, practically barreling Gert over.

 

"Hi, girl!" Gert scratches at Old Lace's head, who pants and nudges closer. She really is just a big scaly dog. Molly rushes over to scratch at her head, too, and Old Lace rolls over for a belly rub. The two of them bend down to give her one, baby-talking the whole time, and Chase is so caught up in watching them that he forgets about the pancakes until they're completely cooked on one side. He catches it at just the right time, though, because he flips them over and they aren't burnt. Success!

 

After the other side cooks, he plates them on the paper dishware they bought in bulk on the Walmart trip. Gert and Molly stand to take their plates, Old Lace trailing after them, and Karolina walks over too, Nico leaning heavily on her. Alex is still gone looking for firewood, though he really should have just waited for Molly, because gathering wood is a lot harder when you can't split it with your bare hands. Especially Alex's weak, video game playing hands. Is that mean? Maybe. He's only a little bit still stuck in the mindset that Alex isn't someone he is supposed to be friends with, the whole nerdy asshole thing throws him off. And yeah, Alex is mostly a nice guy. They're friends, he wants to be friends, especially with how much easier that would be. Gert would tell him this is his toxic masculinity telling him that he has to Battle The Other Male For Dominance, or whatever the fuck, and she would probably be right.

 

Alex returns lugging a bundle of logs, and the six of them sit down to eat breakfast at one in the afternoon. Something Chase has noticed is that they all eat differently. That might be a weird thing to notice, but he's been accidentally cataloguing, lately. He doesn't know why, but he does know that Molly shovels her food in her mouth so fast she gets hiccups sometimes, Karolina takes tiny bites, paying more attention to the world around her than the food on her plate, Gert eats absently while she tells Molly to slow down, or tells Nico to pay attention to the food on her plate, because she often forgets she's even eating, and Alex gestures with his fork while he talks, which is through the whole damn meal. Chase doesn't know what his own habits are.

 

"I'm just _saying,_ that if I had to sleep with a Super Mario 64 character, Bowser is the obvious choice!" Alex says, and it shakes Chase out of his thoughts through how utterly bizarre it is.

 

"What the hell are you guys talking about?"

 

"We're playing wed, bed, behead and Alex has a Bowser fetish, try to keep up, Stein." Gert says, elbowing him gently.

 

"I do not have a Bowser fetish, I just think that he'd be a very careful lo-"

 

"LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Molly yells, slamming her hands over her ears and screwing her eyes shut. Chase wishes he could do the same thing.

 

"Wilder, dude, shut up. You're scarring my soul."

 

"Besides," Nico says, "if you're going to sleep with a Super Mario 64 character, the obvious choice would be Luigi." Gert does a double take with the sip of water she's just taken, and starts cackling. She almost tips over, and Chase has to make sure she doesn't fall off the stump she's sitting on.

 

"I'm still in favour of Princess Peach."

 

"Karolina, not you too." He'd thought he'd had an ally on his firmly 'I don't want to fuck video game characters' side of the debate, but he was wrong.

 

"She's just so pretty."  
 

Nico puts her hand on Karolina's arm and says, "Babe, just consider the moustache, though. Doesn't it look like the facial hair of a man that would take care of you?"

 

Karolina wrinkles her nose and says, "I feel like I'm too much of a lesbian to argue this properly. Princess Peach was my first crush, and I'm sticking with her pink gloriousness."

 

"Okay, okay, we've got to stop talking about this, Gert is going to die from laughter and Molly looks like she's getting tired of having her ears plugged. Also, I'm the most confused I've ever been in my entire life. Please, please stop." Molly cautiously takes her hands away from her ears and enthuastically nods in agreement. The conversation soon turns to a playful fighting match between Alex and Gert on whether the Lord Of The Rings books or movies are better. He doesn't want Gert to be mad at him, so he doesn't say anything, but Alex is right. It's totally the movies. The pancakes are long finished, their plates thrown into the fire Molly starts when she gets bored of Alex talking about Legolas.

 

The conversation soon turns to Star Wars, and that he does have opinions about, as do everyone else, so it turns into a group discussion again.

 

"So what character do you think you're most like?" Alex asks Gert.

 

"Princess Leia, duh. But Karolina is totally Luke Skywalker."

 

"What? How am I Luke Skywalker?"

 

"Gay, blonde, evil dad, it all just adds up."

 

"Wait, since when is Luke gay?" Gert, Nico, and Karolina look to Alex with such judgement that he seems to shrink.

 

"Have you seen that man's fashion sense? He's gay." Karolina says, and Chase, who's had a very secret compiled list of why Luke is gay stuck in a locked fining cabinet in his brain since he was twelve, adds that to the list.

 

"Okay, you're right. Can't believe I didn't see it before. Hey, so what are our theories on The Last Jedi?" Alex does what Gert has told Chase she calls his Power Pose, legs spread and elbows on his knees, chin in his hands.

 

"That it's going to be two and a half hours of Rian Johnson blowing Kylo Ren on screen." Chase chokes on air when Gert speaks, and Karolina slams her hands over Molly's ears with a hissed _'language!'_ while Nico cackles. Alex just looks completely flabbergasted.

 

"That's fair," Nico says when she catches her breath.

 

"Is it really going to be that bad?" Chase asks. It can't possibly be that awful, can it?

 

"Probably, based on interviews and reviews and everything. Mark Hamill literally said he hates what was done with Luke in this one. The only reason I'm going to brave it is I'm diehard for this series and Daisy Ridley and John Boyega's hotness."

 

"I wish we could go see it." Molly grumbles, and everyone sighs in agreement. Even Old Lace blows out a very stinky breath.

 

"Yeah, but if we went Gert and Chase would just end up playing tonsil hockey the whole time, so it'd ruin the experience." Chase choke on air, and he hears Gert squeal in embarrassment. She picks a stick off the ground and _fwips_ it at Nico, who laughs and catches it with ease. Gert's face is ridiculously red, and he imagines his is just a bad.

 

"Nico, I will not hesitate to sic Old Lace on you."

 

"Doesn't make what I said any less true, though." Gert sticks out her tongue, and Nico sticks out her tongue back. Then they just start making faces at each other for the next ten minutes, barely paying attention to what the rest of them are saying.

 

The conversation switches again, and soon it's getting darker, and colder. Gert leans her head on his shoulder, and he tenses for a second, then relaxes. He's glad she trusts him enough to be close to him like this. She curls closer to him as a strong wind blows through the campsite, and Chase thanks every type of weather god out there.

 

He yawns, and Gert says softly, "You've been up a long time, Chase, why don't you go to bed?" And while he doesn't want to move away from her, he knows she's right. He nods sleepily and, with a hand on her shoulder to help him up, he heads back to the van.

 

He curls up and dozes off, and about an hour later he half wakes up when everyone else piles into the van, fire stomped out, and the portable stove folded and put away. Every night before they go to bed, anything left out gets put back in the van so if they need to go the next morning, they can. It totally came in handy a couple of days ago.

 

Gert lies down next to him and hesitantly moves closer, resting her head on his shoulder and curling her fingers into his shirt. Her other hand pulls the blanket back up over them, and damn, Chase didn't realize how cold he was until he was warm again. He feels Gert's breathing slow, and soon they're both fast asleep.

 

He wakes up to weak sunshine through the windshield and Gert's hair tickling his nose. He doesn't want to move, and it's his birthday, so he's not obligated to be up first, even if he's awake before everyone else. That's a very lax rule they have, if you're up first you get breakfast ready and start a fire. But he is not getting up yet until he's forced.

 

It's so peaceful right now, with everyone but him asleep, and Gert lightly snoring against his chest. During the night, she'd moved impossibly closer, almost half on top of him. She's such an octopus.

 

She wakes up then, her eyes fluttering open and yawning. "Happy birthday," she says softly, looking up at him.

 

"Thanks," he says, matching her tone. He can't stop smiling, and it's probably not because he's finally seventeen. It definitely has something to do with the way Gert is looking at him, soft and fond.

 

"Finally seventeen, huh? Want to go donate blood or get a tattoo with parental permission? All things you can do now." She shifts and rests her head on top of her hands so she can talk to him properly.

 

"I don't know how I'm gonna get parental permission for anything these days. And besides, I'm not a big fan of needles." He wrinkles his nose, and she laughs softly.

 

"It's not that bad, really. I mean, it hurts at the time, but it goes away."

 

"Since when do you have a tattoo?" He starts drawing little shapes into her arm, and she hums.

 

"It's what I did for my birthday last year. I planned it out for like, ever, and day of me and Molly went down to Body Electric, you know, down on Melrose? And I got the tattoo. It really isn't that bad, you know."

 

"So where is it?" It's weird that he hasn't seen it, especially since Gert has a penchant for shorts and skirts over jeans.

 

"Nowhere you'll ever see." She says teasingly, biting down on her lip.

 

"Hmm, except I have seen, and I didn't spot any tattoo."

 

She blushes and says, "Well, maybe you just weren't paying enough attention." He thinks _next time I will pay more attention._ And then he thinks about how there probably will not be a next time. He can hope, though.

 

"Yeah, well-"

 

"Can you two stop flirting? It's way too early, like, come on." Nico grumbles, and suddenly Chase understands why Gert threw something at her yesterday. He wants so badly to tell her to shut up, but Gert is already moving away from him.

 

"I should get started on breakfast. Happy birthday, again." She squeezes his arm, and then she's out of the van.

 

He glares at Nico. "Can't you take a break? It's literally my birthday, come on, be kind."

 

She separates herself from Karolina, stretching and saying, "If no one calls you guys out on it, you're not going to do anything. Her, especially. Girl needs a big push or she'll do nothing. Maybe, like, actually make a move? Tell her how you feel, kiss her, something? The whole romantic tension thing is annoying as all hell." She shakes herself out then leaves the van, too.

 

And maybe she's right. No matter how scared he is, it's probably about time he did something about his feelings. And besides, wouldn't it be romantic to tell people they got together on his birthday?

 

Woah. His brain just shot ahead to, like, eight years from now to a time where they're put together adults telling people how they got together at a dinner party. Huh. Is that normal? He isn't sure.

 

The rest of them are up soon, and as soon as Karolina and Molly climb out of the van and see him, they start up a rousing rendition of the birthday song.

 

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you," They sing, badly. Everyone else joins in, even Gert, who's making oatmeal off to the side, "happy birthday, dear Chase, happy birthday to you."

 

Molly starts tapping a beat onto the log she's sitting on, and her and Gert sing the exact same tune in Spanish. _"Cumpleaños feliz, cumpleaños feliz, te deseamos todo, cumpleaños feliz!"_ then burst into giggles. Chase can't stop smiling.

 

"Hey, Gert, do you know the French version?"

 

"Karolina, who do you think I am? Of course I know the French version." Her and Karolina start singing _bonne fete a toi bonne fete a toi_ in different inflections as Gert starts spooning out oatmeal into paper bowls.

 

Chase has a feeling this is going to be the start of a very good birthday.

 

Gert sits down next to him and hands him a bowl as everyone gets up to get theirs.

 

"Oh, is this the birthday treatment?" He teases.

 

"Yes, and you better appreciate it, because it'll be gone tomorrow." He scrunches his nose up at her, and she does the same back.

 

"So what's the plan for today, hm?" Alex asks the group once they've dug in.

 

"Me and Nico were thinking we'd go and explore the area, you know, make sure there's no bears around, see if there's a water source, that kind of thing." The look Karolina and Nico are giving each other suggest something else, though.

 

"Oh, can I come?" Molly asks excitedly, and Karolina's eyes widen. She shoots Gert a _help me_ look, and Gert come to the rescue.

 

"No, Molls, you said you were gonna help me, Alex, and Chase today, remember? We said we were going to do repairs on the van?" Molly grumbles but agrees, and Karolina and Nico both sigh in relief.

 

He's pretty sure their relief has less to do with not wanting Molly around and way more to do with the way Nico has been looking at Karolina with a very specific kind of look in her eyes.

 

Once they eat, which takes longer than it should because of a very weird conversation about pineapple on pizza (Pineapple does, in fact, belong on pizza. Alex and Nico are wrong.), Karolina and Nico split off into the woods hand in hand, wishing him a happy birthday and disappearing to 'explore the area'.

 

He has Molly help him jack the van and put large rocks behind the wheels so it doesn't start sliding at any point as Alex and Gert start basically taking apart the dash so they can fuck around with the radio.

 

"Hey, would you guys start the car, I wanna change the oil." He says, resting his forearm against the side of the passenger window and leaning in.

 

"Oh, so you're a mechanic now?" Alex mocks, turning the key and starting the engine.

 

"My dad literally invented a whole new type of vehicle, I think I can handle changing the oil." he says, and he knows he's being kind of douchey, but whatever.

 

He grabs the Walmart bag of shit he bought to do this, emptying it onto the ground. He puts on the safety glasses, wiggling his eyebrows at Molly, who giggles. He slides the bucket under the van and tugs on the gloves, making sure the Velcro sticks properly.

 

"Okay, you can turn off the car now!" He shouts, and Gert sticks her head out the drivers side window.

 

"What was the point of having the engine on if it's only going to be for five minutes?" She says with a judgy look on her face.

 

Chase gives her a lopsided smile and says, "it's to heat up the oil so I can actually, you know, change it?"

 

"Don't be an asshole." She wrinkles her nose at him.

 

"Sorry. Will you please turn off the engine?"

 

"Better." Gert pops out of view and he hears the engine shut off.

 

He turns back to Molly, who reaches up and flicks him on the cheek.

 

"Ow! What was that for?" He rubs at his cheek and glares.

 

"Gert doesn't like the whole 'I'm better than you' act. She likes the smug confidence thing, she thinks it's hot," Oh, does she now? Filing that away for later use. "but she hates when you're a jerk. Come on, you know this." She whispers.

 

"You're right, you're right. I don't know what's wrong with me, I guess I'm just nervous. I think I'm going to, like, talk to her tonight and I'm freaking myself out over it." He sits down and pushes himself under the van, right where he needs to be.

 

"Talk to her? What do you- ooohh."

 

"Yeah, _oh._ Pass me the wrench?"

 

She hands him the wrench, and he starts unscrewing the plug. "So what are you gonna say?"

 

"I don't know yet. See what I'm doing here? I'm taking out the drain plug with the wrench," once it's out, he pulls it out and away quickly, letting the oil drain into the bucket, "and now I wait a minute for all the oil to come out. You know when it's done when it slows down to a trickle." Molly's crouched with her head tilted, trying to get a better look. She nods.

 

He waits for it to slow down to a trickle like he said, then unscrews the filter. "'Kay, so what I'm doing now is taking out the filter and replacing it with the one I bought the other day, pay attention, please, this is important." He says when he notices Molly isn't looking at him and is instead drawing little designs into the dirt.

 

"But why is it important?" She whines.

 

"Because I don't want to be the only one who knows how to do this kind of stuff." He doesn't say out loud that it's because something could happen to him, but Molly seems to get it.

 

He isn't expecting any of them to get seriously hurt, and he doesn't want them to. But it's good to be prepared, especially with how important the van is.

 

"So I'm installing the new filter," He screws it on, then slides out from under the van, "And now we very carefully get that bucket out from under the van without spilling anything. This is like, near impossible, but we're going to attempt it."

 

They very cautiously slide the bucket out from under the van, and then he has Molly help him pour the used oil into a plastic jug he found in the van. It'll be a pretty good fire starter if they need it later.

 

Chase pushes the safety glasses up into his hair and picks up the funnel and new oil. He makes his way to the front of the van and gestures to Molly to follow him.

 

He pops open the hood, waving to Gert and Alex. Alex is paying way more attention to the radio, but Gert is just working on something in her lap, so she waves back. She kind of looks like she's laughing at him, though he can't gather why.

 

He undoes the cap and place the funnel in the hole, starting to carefully pour in the oil as he says, "This part is pretty easy, you just pour until the bottle's empty, then screw the cap back on, and we're good to go," to Molly.

 

Chase does what he just described, checks everything over, then slams the hood closed. He tells Molly that everything is basically done, and she goes to sit by the fire with a book. He ambles over to the drivers side window and reaches in, starting the engine.

 

"Uh, hi." Gert says, and he realizes that he is very, very close to her right now.

 

"Hi, sorry, just checking the oil pressure light." It blinks as he says it, and he turns off the car as he pulls away.

 

He fold his arms against the edge of the rolled down window and asks, "Whatcha working on?"  
 

"Oh, nothing, don't worry about it," Gert says, covering her lap with a magazine. _Suspicious._

 

"Oookay. Hey do you know- oh my god, what." Gert is giggling again. She's trying to hide it behind her hand, but it is not working.

 

"Your hair......." She laughs again and reaches up to pluck the safety glasses out of his hair, folding them with one hand and mussing it. "That's better." Gert says softly, and suddenly he's just overcome with wanting to kiss her. The sun is shining just right, making her hair look so soft and her skin so bronzy-perfect, and she's just so pretty it's killing him.

 

"What?" She asks softly.

 

"Oh, nothing." _You're gorgeous._

 

"Hey, you've got a little something on your face." She licks her thumb and wipes at his cheek, then rubs whatever it was off on her jeans.

 

He smirks and says, "You totally just mom'd me."

 

"What? I did not!"

 

"Except that you did."

 

"Oh, get out of my face, cowboy." She presses her hand into his face and pushes him away, and he barks out a laugh.

 

"Hey, so, are we doing something for new years?" Chase asks as he settles back against the window.

 

"We could sneak into a club." Alex says absently, fingers twisted into the wires of the radio.

 

"Oh, wicked, I saw one when we passed through that town yesterday, we could totally do that." That would be _awesome._ Chase has kind of been itching for alcohol since the night they left, and it would be great to get a night off from all this. Maybe he'd get to dance with Gert.

 

He's picturing it now. They're dancing to a roaring beat, and Gert's hair is flying every which way with a fierce smile across her face. Neon lights flash all over the dance floor, and the crush of the crowd pushes them closer together. She bumps against his chest and looks up at him, saying _hey, Chase-_

 

"-are you even listening to me right now?" Gert's voice, her _actual_ voice, not the one in his head, shakes him out of his daydream.

 

"I'm sorry, what?"

 

"I was saying that that's a shit idea and we'd be arrested." His face falls. He can't help it, that daydream was just _so good._

 

"Oh, don't be too disappointed. We can probably buy some vodka or whatever from the next gas station we come across, you've still got your fake ID, right?"

 

Chase nods. "Yeah, it's in the glove compartment."

 

Gert reaches across Alex to snap open the glove compartment and root around for his wallet. He watches her open it, going through it to look for the ID. But she comes across something else, first.

 

"Oh." Careful fingers pull a very old picture of the two of them out from behind his debt card.  They're about fourteen in the photo. Karolina had taken it right after Chase had scored the winning goal for the first time, ever, and he was so fucking happy. Gert's arm was around his waist and his was thrown around her shoulder, and they're both smiling toothily at the camera. Gert's hair was still long and dark, and her glasses were big and blocky. She was beautiful, even back then. She always has been, to him.

 

"I didn't know..........I didn't know you still had this." she whispers, and her eyes are a little wet.

 

"It's been in my wallet since it was taken, I kinda like to take it out and look at it sometimes. Are you okay?"

 

Gert wipes at her eyes and says, "No, yeah, I just, it's kind of funny, because, uh," she grabs her wallet out of the pocket of her jacket and opens it, pulling out the exact same picture and showing him. "I've had the same photo in _my_ wallet for the last three years."

 

He holds his photo up next to hers, and they bump hands. They smile at each other, and Gert's eyes are still a little wet, so he takes his other hand and wipes at a tear.

 

"You totally just mom'd me, Stein." She says, still sniffling.

 

"Don't steal my words, Yorkes."

 

It's unbearably intimate, and Chase is just about to lean in when Alex clears his throat pointedly, and oh, yeah, they aren't alone right now.

 

"Hey, Gert, weren't you saying something about wanting to get a shower today?" Alex asks, and Gert nods.

 

"Yeah, I, uh, should go do that, I guess. Get out of the way so I don't hit you with the door, please." He backs up, and she jumps out, slamming the door behind her.

 

"You should probably get a shower too once I'm done, you're all sweaty."

 

"Yeah, I know," he pulls up the hem of his t-shirt to wipe at his forehead, "it's weirdly hot out today for the middle of winter." He hears Gert make this little choked noise, and he drops the hem to see what happened.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

She shakes her head quickly and looks away from him. "Nothing, nothing, uh, I'm gonna go now. Bye." She grabs her toiletries bag and the camp shower, and then she's gone.

 

He catches Alex's eye, who's been very quietly losing his mind watching them. "What?"

 

"Man, you two are just so funny to watch. Did you pull that move on purpose or was it just spur of the moment?"

 

Chase clambers into the drivers seat and asks, "What move?"

 

Alex gives him a _are you serious right now_ look and says, "That whole 'built dude lifts shirt to wipe his forehead to show off his abs' move. Damn, Karo is right, you really are oblivious."

 

"That's a thing?" Chase is so confused, he was just sweaty, he wasn't trying to be attractive or anything.

 

"Dude, have you watched, like, any film ever?"

 

"I don't watch a lot of TV." Chase shrugs. He was always at practice, or working out, or studying. Who's got the time? And besides, whenever he did watch movies, it was always either old movies with his mom, or buddy cop types with the guys on the team.

 

"Well, it was totally a move, and you got her all flustered. Hold this." He hands Chase a clump of wires, then dives back in, about three knuckles deep into the radio.

 

"What are you even doing, anyways?"

 

"I'm trying to get it to play unlocalized stations so we can listen to the radio without hearing 'these five teens are now persons of interest in the death of seventeen year old Destiny Gonzalez, blah, blah, blah."

 

"Do you think it'll work?"  
  
"Maybe. Hey, take a look at this, would you? I can't figure out what it is from the manual." Chase looks in, but it's too shadowed to see properly, so he grabs the x-ray goggles off the dash and puts them on.

 

"It's the adapter."

 

"Woah, dude, I totally forgot you had those. Can I try them out?" Alex has that _gimme gimme gimme_ look in his eyes that means he will not let this go until he gets a turn. That's probably too simplistic a description, but that's what he used to call it when they were kids.

 

Chase pulls them off and hands them to him, and Alex eagerly puts them on.

 

"Holy shit! This is so cool!" Alex's smile is huge as he goes back to working on the radio, saying, "Wow, this is so much easier now!"

 

"You are such a nerd." Chase jokes, and Alex shoves him.

 

"Then go away and let me nerd out in peace, you big jerk." Chase barks out a laugh and gets out of the car.

 

He goes and sits by Molly, who resolves to teach him hand games.

 

"Okay, so this one is Concentration, which I'm sure you know and have just forgotten, so the clapping part goes like............" She launches into an overcomplicated explanation, but Chase thinks he understands enough to play. He must be right, because when they play a trial run, he totally beats her.

 

"Ugh, that's not fair, we're playing again." They play about eight more rounds, and by the time Gert comes back, Chase is a Concentration King.

 

Gert tosses him the camp shower as she squeezes out her hair, saying, "I'm done with it now if you need it."

 

He catches it and thanks her, grabbing everything he needs and heading out into the woods. He hates getting showers like this, because it's kind of gross and out in the open, but there's no better solution until they find an actual house to stay in.

 

When he comes back, Nico and Karolina have returned, looking a lot more relaxed then when they left.

 

It soon starts to get dark, and Nico, Molly and Karolina head into to the van complaining about the cold. Molly winks at him as she shuts the door behind her. He hears the radio start to play something soft and acoustic, and Alex practically jumping for joy in the van, and then quiet, barring the music. Chase wonders who told him to shut up.

 

He and Gert sit in silence for a while, staring at the fire while the stars start to blink into the night sky.

 

Gert stands, fingers jittering against her thigh, and crosses the circle to sit down next to him. She shoves something into his hand, and says softly, "Happy birthday, Chase."

 

He opens his fist to find an intricately made bracelet, blue and green with an amazing pattern.

 

"Oh, wow." He can't stop looking at it, it's so elaborate, holy shit.

 

"It was kind of rushed, and I know you said you didn't want anything, I just thought it would be nice to make you something, so, um, yeah." She looks flustered, and the words come out rushed.

 

Chase puts his hand over hers and says, "I love it."

 

"Yeah?"  She's so close, and the campfire is reflecting in her eyes, and her hair is kind of wild from air drying it. All Chase is thinking right now is _this is my chance._

 

He squeezes her hand and says, "Yeah, Gert, this thing is insane, I don't know how you did it. Would you help me put it on?"

 

She takes the bracelet from him and starts tying it around his wrist, saying, "It's actually pretty simple, it's called a Peruvian Wave bracelet? I learned how to make them forever ago. They take a super long time but they're so cool, don't you think?" She finishes the knot, and catches him staring. He can't help it, she's just so perfect, the light of the campfire making her look all golden. "What?"

 

"Nothing." He smiles around the words, but he can't bring himself to stop looking at her so fondly.

 

"It's not nothing, come on, tell me." She pokes him, and he laughs softly.

 

"You just, um," he leans closer, carefully tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, "you look really pretty right now." His hands are kind of shaking, but can you blame him?

 

"Oh." They're so close now that Chase could count her eyelashes, so close that if he wanted to he'd only have to move a couple inches to kiss her. So, he does.

 

He kisses her softly, placing a hand on her neck and moving his thumb up and down. For just a millisecond, she doesn’t respond, and Chase is terrified he’s just fucked up absolutely everything when she kisses him back.

 

He can feel her hands jittering when she puts them to his chest, like she’s very, very, nervous, and Chase is kind of in the same mindset. But he wants her to know he cares about her. He wants her to know he’s here, that he’s _always_ going to be here, and the best way he can think to do that is kissing her soft and slow, really slow, none of that fiery _go go go_ from every other time. But it's still passionate, and sweet, and perfect.

 

And then Gert pulls back.

 

She breaks eye contact and curls in on herself, pulling her knees to her chest and staring resolutely at the fire.

 

“So.” She says, her voice a little watery. “That happened.”

 

“Oh my god, can we not do this again?” He doesn’t mean to say it. But he’s just so tired of her backing away from him when he cares about her so much.

 

“Oh. I, uh, yeah. I guess. If that’s what you want. I’ll just…..” She stand and makes to walk away, but he grabs her hand before she can.

 

He stands and says, “That is not what I meant.”

 

Gert looks down at their entwined hands and asks, “Then what did you mean?”

 

“I meant," He says softly, "that I really like you, and I don’t know why you keep backing away from a good thing. Unless I’ve been misinterpreting our every interaction, and you don’t feel the same way. In which case, I’ll back off-"

 

"Of course I like you." Gert's eyes are squeezed shut. "I like you _so much,_ Chase." Her voice cracks, and he moves to cup her cheek and move his thumb back and forth to soothe her.

 

"Hey, shhh, don't cry. It's okay." He wipes away her tears with his thumb, and she laughs wetly.

 

"Except that it isn't, because nothing is ever _okay_ for me, I'm always running away and fucking everything up and it's not like I'm even good enough for you, anyways, you can do so much better than me, you don't want to have to deal with this, trust me, I'd know-"

 

“You’re wrong.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re wrong. Dead wrong, actually. You are the most wonderful girl I have ever met in my _entire life,_ Gert, nothing can even compare to you. I don't know where you got this fucked up idea that I am somehow better than you, and that you don't deserve a relationship with me, but it’s bullshit. I like you so much, Gert, and I don’t even know where you got this idea that you’re just something people have to deal with. Seriously, who told you that, I’ll beat them with a lacrosse stick.”

 

“Lacrosse sticks aren't the answer to everything, Chase.” She wipes at her eyes, and he’s reminded of another time when she said something similar. Another time she was there for him.

 

“Yeah, well.” He steps closer to her, reaching out with his other hand and running it through her hair. Her eyes fall closed, and here, under the starlight, she’s beautiful.

 

“I’m a handful.” Gert says quietly.

 

“And I’ve got two working hands."

 

"That's cheesy." But she's smiling. He leans closer, resting his forehead against hers, and just breathes her in for a second.

 

"I get that you worry, Gert, and I understand where it comes from. But I really care about you, okay? And I'm here for the long game."

 

"You are?"

 

"As long as you want me to be."

 

She kisses him, then, soft and slow. Her fingers curl into his shirt, and he slides his left hand down to her waist, keeping his other hand in her hair, and it's perfect. Everything about this moment is perfect.

 

She pulls back just barely, still so close that he can feel her warm breath against his mouth.

 

"I'm here for the long game with you, too, in case you couldn't tell."

 

He pecks her on the lips and says, "No, I think I got that from all the kissing and the dramatic declarations of feelings, we really are characters in a romance novel-" She kisses him to shut him up, and he pulls her closer, wrapping his arms around her waist as she runs her hands through his hair.

 

He wishes that he could freeze this moment in time, the two of them trading soft kisses and giggling under the stars all wrapped up in each other. But they can't, and it is getting cold, so eventually they stomp out the fire and make their way back to the van, Chase's arm around her shoulder. 

 

He slides open the door quietly, only for the lights to still be on and Molly clearly just pulling away from the door. Alex and Nico and Karolina, who are good people and don't eavesdrop, are fast asleep.

 

Gert shoots her a look, and Molly sticks out her tongue at them. The two of them climb in and turn out the lights while Molly finally settles and go to sleep. He lies down, and Gert curls up next to him, pulling the blanket up over them. He's so happy he's not sure he'll ever sleep again, but he manages.

 

~~~~~

 

Gert wakes up smiling.

 

Chase's arm is thrown around her waist, holding her close, and he's so warm. He's so warm, and Gert is so cold, and besides, they're dating now, so she doesn't even have to justify staying.

 

Fuck, she can't believe they're dating now. Did she win some sort of cosmic lottery? She almost can't believe last night actually happened, almost can't believe Chase actually said _you're the most wonderful girl I've ever met in my life._ That's the kind of thing that's going to be kept close to her heart until she's old and gray.

 

But it did happen, and he did say it. So Gert isn't going to freak out like that annoying part of her brain is telling her to, she's not going to self sabotage again just because there's a part of her that thinks it safer. She won't. Chase cares about her, and he want to be with her.

 

_Really_ wants to be with her, from the way he's pulling her even closer and pressing his face into her neck. He presses a ghost of a kiss there, saying sleepily, "Good morning."

 

"Good morning," she yawns, putting her hand over his and fiddling with his fingers.

 

"Do we have to get up yet or can we just stay here?"

 

"I think we can make it another half hour before Karolina starts clattering around, you know how she gets."

 

"What was it you called it? 'dumb morning person tendencies?" She can't see him, but she knows for a fact he's grinning like a fool right now. She's doing pretty much the same.

 

"I believe those were the words I chose, yeah." He laughs softly, and she can feel the huff of air against her neck.

 

"Your hands are really cold, babe," he says, squeezing her hand like he didn’t just murder her through a cutesy pet name.

 

He must feel her tense, because he says, “Sorry, um, was that okay?”

 

“It was more than okay. You just surprised me, that’s all.” She squeezes his hand. “I liked it.”

 

He curls closer, and they fall asleep again soon after.

 

She wakes up to Chase's voice, gruff and sleepy, saying, "Karolina, would you stop, you literally spent two hours yesterday macking your girlfriend in the woods, would you let me cuddle mine in peace, please?" And oh, she likes the sound of that, likes being called his girlfriend.

 

"Yeah, Karo, just," she yawns, and suddenly her train of thought is lost, so she makes a dismissive gesture with her hand. Karolina slides open the door, flicking Gert's stuck-out-of-the-blanket foot on the way out.

 

"Good morning, again," Chase says, and she giggles.

 

She shifts and turns around to face him, taking in the whiskey golden colour of his eyes and his warm smile. "Good morning."

 

He ghosts his fingers up and down her back, and says quietly, "Do you want some tea? I kind of want to go make some."

 

"What kind did you pick up?"

 

"Black and Earl Grey. And I bought a box of sugar packets because I know you like your stuff sweet."

 

"And my boys, too," she says, because she knows it'll make him blush.

 

His cheeks turn rosy as he says, "Well you're pretty sweet as well, if I do say so myself."

 

She kisses him softly, because he's really close and she can just _do_ that now, how awesome is that. "Earl Grey, please."

 

Chase’s smile turns supernova, and he nods an okay as he starts to get up. He’s halfway out of the van when Gert realizes how fucking cold it is without him. She lasts about ten minutes, pulling the blanket tight around her, but she can't help it. She misses him.

 

She knows that that is completely stupid, but still. She pulls on a sweater over her pyjamas and quietly gets out of the van, shaking out a mint from the tin before she does so. Gross morning breath? Gert doesn't know her.

 

"Brrr," She says, rubbing her hands up and down her arms to keep warm as she walks over to him, and as soon as Gert reaches him he wraps an arm around her and presses a kiss to her forehead. He keeps his arm around her, and she snuggles closer.

 

"I know, it's freezing. Weather doesn't make sense, it was literally so hot yesterday." He starts pouring pancake batter into the admittedly very cheap pan. Chase does make really great pancakes, though, even if the crockery is bad quality.

 

"It's global warming, babe." Her voice is still kind of hoarse, and she doesn't know if it's just from sleep or if her cold is coming back. She's praying it's the first one.

 

"You say that about everything, though." He says teasingly.

 

"Uh, I do not, what are you talking about." She's making her voice dramatically offended to get a laugh out of him, and it works.

 

He gives her a look that doesn't work in deterring her because of how fond his smile is. "Just last week you said it was the cause of traffic on the highway."

 

"Okay, so I might have been exaggerating, just a little."

 

"Just a little, huh?" Chase says quietly, and suddenly she realizes how close they are right now, their faces just inches apart. Gert can't keep eye contact, her eyes keep flicking down to his lips.

 

She puts one hand on his cheek as she kisses him, languid and sweet, but it evolves into something else as Chase changes the angle, and _fuck._ She presses closer, their lips moving against each other in perfect- is something burning?

 

She pulls back with a wet _pop!_ and sees the pan smoking, so she frantically pulls it off the burner, sees how black the former pancake is, and nods slowly, her lips pursed. And then she dumps the burned mess onto the fire.

 

She turns to Chase, who's got his hand pressed over his mouth and his eyebrows raised all the way up, and they both burst out laughing.

 

"Wooow," she says, running a hand through her hair. She flicks off the burner and grabs the kettle, pouring the steaming water into the mugs Chase has already prepared. She knows which one is hers from the heap of sugar at the bottom.

 

She swirls a plastic spoon in the mug, and Chase does the same as they chat (flirt), leaning back against the wobbly fold up table they bought to set the stove on.

 

"Hey, is this my sweater?" He says, tugging at the sleeve gently.

 

"Chase, like I keep telling you, you found it at a thrift store eight days ago, and both Molly and Alex have also worn this sweater."

 

"Exactly," he says with that damned teasing smile, _"I_ found it. Therefore, you're wearing my sweater and I get to be sappy about it." That's so cute, Gert is blushing so hard, what the hell.

 

"Therefore, huh?" She rests her head on his shoulder, and his arm goes around her waist. They fit together so well, it's crazy. They've only been together not even a day, but the transition from friends to dating just feels so natural.

 

"Yeah, therefore." He presses a kiss to the top of her head, and Gert has to stop herself from giggling like a freaking schoolgirl.

 

They don't really move from that position until Gert posits that she should probably get started on breakfast, and Chase says he'll help, which he doesn't, just distracts her from what she's doing by being all sappy, kissing her cheek and looking at her with this fond look that Gert is loving, by the way. It's a quiet kind of morning, and it's the kind of thing that Gert could get very, very used to.

 

~~~~~

 

Alex would just like the world to know that he is a very tired person. He is, quite literally, a five foot nine ball of stress. He does not need to wake up to this.

 

_This_ being Gert and Chase making out against the wobbly plastic table they bought for the portable stove and meal prep. Okay, so they're not really making out, just talking super, super close to each other, still in their pyjamas, and Chase keeps pressing little kisses to Gert's cheek, who giggles every time he does it. But it's still the kind of adorable bullshit that makes Alex feel tired even though he just woke up.

 

"Hey, guys, so I'm guessing you had a really great time last night." He says as he starts picking up a bowl of oatmeal for himself. He's only interrupting them so they pull apart and start acting like normal human beings, but, frustratingly, they don't.

 

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." Chase says, and Gert laughs softly, resting her head against his chest.

 

"So, like," He gestures with his plastic spoon between the two of them, "you're dating now?"

 

"OH MY GOD THEY GOT TOGETHER?" Nico yells as she practically rolls out of the van. Gert and Chase look at each other in that dumb couple way where you can tell they both know what the other is thinking.

 

Okay, Alex might be kind of bitter. He was used to being single, he was, and then he got an ephemeral taste of a caring relationship and suddenly he, what, hates love? He doesn't want to, and he shouldn't. So, he's happy for Gert and Chase, he's decided. And wow, _ephemeral?_ Gert is starting to get into his head.

 

"Yeah, Neeks, they did. Hey, did anyone bet on Chase's birthday?"

 

"Me! I did! I bet on Chase's birthday! You all owe me candy!" Molly yells as she bounds out of the van, and that's when Karolina comes out of the woods, clearly just returning from doing yoga somewhere. She makes her way over to Nico, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close.

 

"Hey, babe, what's going on?"

 

"Gert and Chase finally got their shit together."

 

"Can y'all leave us alone, please? And since when is there a bet?"

 

Chase laughs softly and looks down a Gert with the biggest heart-eyes Alex has ever seen. "Babe, you just said y'all."

 

"What? No I didn't."

 

"You totally did, cowgirl."

 

She wrinkles her nose at him and says, "You're such a jerk."

 

"Yeah, but I'm your jerk. You're stuck with me."  
  
"Yeah, I am." Alex is pretty sure that for the next month, he's not going to see either of them frowning.

 

They eat around the fire, the two couples sitting in knee to shoulder pairs and Alex and Molly sitting like normal people. He can't blame Gert, though, because she knows how separated she'd felt before they left, everyone else paired off and her on the outskirts with Molly. He knows that feeling now, and the way it makes your heart feel? Not fun. But it's different, for him. He's not actively looking for a relationship, now, and besides, with how badly he fucked up with Nico, does he even want to be dating anyone? And it's not like there's anyone to date, anyways. Maybe when this is all over, though that might be a long way off. He's kind of terrified of this being how their teenage years are spent, hiding out from the police, on the road with his best friends. The people are great, but the situation, uh, it sucks ass.

 

"Hey, the fire's kind of dying, I think I'm going to go find some firewood." He says after they've eaten.

 

"Actually, I need to talk to you about something, I'll come with you." Gert says, reluctantly separating from Chase, who pouts in her direction. She presses a kiss to his cheek and says, "I'll be back in a bit," and the pout is gone, replaced by a gooshy smile.

 

The two of them walk a ways into the woods, and after a while he asks, "Okay, what did you want to talk about?"

 

Gert stops and tucks her hair behind her ear as she says seriously, "I don't think having the gun around is a good idea."

 

Alex drops the log he'd been holding. "What? Why?"

 

They _need_ that gun. What if something happens where it's the only option? That has literally happened to them, they need the gun. Even if Alex hates the way it feels in his hands, even if every time he sees it he thinks of Andre, they need it. It's to keep them safe.

 

"Alex, I just..........I can't have it around." She looks off to the side, clearly avoiding eye contact.

 

"But we need it, Gert, it's to keep us safe." He's standing closer now, almost subconsciously getting in her space.

 

"More bad things happen with guns then without them. I get having protection, Alex, but do we really need a gun?" Her arms are crossed as she turns to look at him, and her eyes are set and serious.

 

"Yes, I really think we do, I mean, what happens if we come across the police, or something-"

 

"And what, you're going to shoot a fucking cop? Alex, you can't be serious."

 

"I- okay yeah, that was a bad example, but we need it, okay! Just a few days ago you had to use it, and I get that it was scary, but you guys got away from that guy _because_ you had a gun." He's talking with his hands, and he tries to make himself stop. His father does that a lot, too, and he knows it's just genetics and familiarity, but he does not want to remind himself of his father.

 

"It wasn't just scary, it was terrifying! I couldn't sleep, Alex, just the thought of that thing in my hands kept me up-"

 

"I know how it feels." After he shot Andre, Alex didn't sleep for days. The circles under his eyes were so dark he had to borrow his mother's concealer. "I know how it feels, Gert, but I still think we need the gun."

 

She steps back, the crease between her eyebrows deep and her eyes worried. "What do you mean you know how it feels, Alex?"

 

"I........" he looks off to the side, fiddling with his glasses. "I shot Andre, that night. I'm the reason he's dead. I'm the reason he was even sacrificed at all, okay?" His voice cracks, and a tear falls involuntarily.

 

Her eyebrows go all the way up, and she blinks slowly in surprise. "Alex, holy shit."

 

"Yeah, I know, okay? And I did it to save my stupid fucking father, who's a literal murderer, and I just went and gave him his next victim! That was me! I did that! Andre is dead, and nobody even fucking cares, I searched him up afterwards and nothing came up, just like all the others. He is wiped clean from everything, and he was such a smart kid, he knew all this techy shit, and now he's dead and it's my-" Gert wraps her arms around him, then, holding him tight as the tears fall. _Fuck_.

 

"It was _not_ your fault. The only ones at fault here are the ones who killed him, not you. And he's your dad, Alex, of course you saved him." His hands go carefully to her back, and it occurs to him that he's shaking. "He's a bad person, yes. But he raised you, obviously you'd prevent his death if you could."

 

He nods into her shoulder, and she rubs her hand up and down his back. Gert is such a great hugger, Alex has always thought so. She's a great friend, too.

 

He pulls back when he's calmed down enough, and says, "I still think that the gun is a necessity." Because he's not going to just let that go and find out a week later that Gert dumped it in gas station garbage can.

 

Gert rolls her eyes, and says, "Alex, how can you possibly believe that? There are other ways to protect ourselves, we don't need it. We can buy a steel baseball bat, we can get pocket knives, something other than that." The problem with arguing with Gert is that they're both extremely stubborn. Neither of them can just give up unless there's a reason.

 

"Yeah, but none of that is going to help us long range, and-"

 

"It's not _safe,_ okay? We can't have it with us, something bad could happen, something really bad, and it would be because of that fucking gun." She's trying not to cry now, he can tell. She bites her lip and glares when she tries not to cry, and that's always more obvious than the tears as long as you know her mannerisms.

 

"What do you mean, something bad, Gert?" Because that doesn't make sense. The purpose of the gun is to protect them, not to hurt them. It's the whole point, to have something there that will help them when they need it that's automatic and only requires the pull of a trigger, and not  knowing how to do something specific, like throwing a punch or what to do in a knife fight.

 

"I mean," She says intensely, "That we are absolutely the wrong group of people to be around a gun. Our parents are murderers, Alex, how do you think that affects us? And, not to mention, that literally half the group are some form of not straight, and we both know that makes everything harder. Chase's father is _dying,_ among other things, I'm mentally ill without my meds, me and you both fucking shot someone in the past month, and to top it all off we're all teenagers! There is not one person in this group that I would trust long term with a gun, especially not myself. I. Want. It. Gone." There are angry tears welling in her eyes, and Gert wipes harshly at them.

 

Oh. Oh, okay. Alex can't believe he didn't think about that. Wow, he's been stupid. Gert has trumped literally every reason he had to keep the gun, and now, listening to her, he doesn't even care.

 

"You're right. I'm sorry, you're right." He nods to himself, and runs a hand over his hair. "We'll get rid of it the next chance we've got, okay?"

 

Gert nods, and with that finally settled, they go back to picking up firewood.

 

"So you and Chase, huh?" He asks, because if he knows Gert at all there's no way she isn't dying to talk about it.

 

"Yeah, me and Chase." Her smile turns fond and sappy as she says, "You know, I really had completely given up on it ever going anywhere, but last night, holy mother. He was saying all these sweet things, did you know he called me the most wonderful girl he's ever met? Fuck, he makes me feel so good, like my whole world is lit up." Her eyes go starry as they walk back, and she's beaming so hard, biting down on her

lip to try and hide it.

 

"I'm really happy for you," he says, elbowing her gently. "I know you guys have been, like, completely in love with each other since we were kids, so it's great you finally got together. I do wish you'd waited a couple days, I had a can of Pepsi and a Snickers on you getting together on New Years," Gert snorts, shaking her head, "but I am really glad you two are finally dating."

 

"Was it really that much of a sure thing for the rest of you?" She looks surprised, which is just so absurd to him.

 

Listen, Alex has been watching the two of them swoon over each other since they were little kids, okay? He can remember countless moments when he'd think, 'ugh, won't they just get together already!'

 

Like this one time when they were fourteen. They'd all gone to see Into The Woods, even though Gert had lobbied really hard for Grand Budapest Hotel, Amy and Alex ganged up on her with 'Molly will get scarred if we take her to a Wes Anderson movie'. She'd stuck out her tongue but agreed, claiming she wouldn't pay attention. This was a lie, of course, because the second the movie started she was rapt. Her and Chase were sharing popcorn, and Alex had disastrously chose to sit beside them. He had to watch as Chase pseudo-casually yawned and stretched his arm across Gert's shoulders. Alex had rolled his eyes so hard he got a headache, but Gert had blushed so red he could see it even in the light of the screen, and cautiously leaned into it. Cute? Maybe. Sickening? Definitely. And then after the movie when they went to get dinner, the two of them had sat so close to each other you'd swear they were surgically attached.

 

So yeah. It was that much of a sure thing.

 

"Gert, you have got to be kidding. You know Chase has been planning your wedding since we were twelve, right? Once I saw him doodling the invitations, he was that bad."

 

Gert giggles, and they walk the rest of the way in silence. When they get back, Chase is working on the fistigons, looking totally absorbed until Gert sits down next to him and he completely forgets about them. It's actually kind of funny, she shows up in his line of site and it's like the fistigons don't exist anymore.

 

He sits down next to Molly, asking where Nico and Karolina went. Molly says they went exploring, again, and she sounds pissed that they didn't let her come, but Alex ruffles her hair and reassures her that she would not want to be with them while they're out there.

 

~~~~~

 

Karolina is sucking on her neck right now and Nico is pretty sure that this is going to be what kills her. Not her murderer parents, not being on the run from the cops, not sleeping in the same van as five other teenagers and a dinosaur, just this, making out with her girlfriend in the middle of fuck all nowhere.

 

Karolina has her pressed against an oak tree, her fingers playing with the hem of her tank top, and there is no place she’d rather be right now. 

 

Well, untrue. She'd prefer this exact situation somewhere that isn't the middle of the woods, but the important part is that Karolina is there.

 

"So," she pants, "what's our Molly-rated excuse for all these hickies you keep giving me?" Karolina's hand starts to slide down from Nico's waist, ghosting down to her thigh.

 

She pulls away from her neck with a wet _pop!_ and says, "Give it a couple days and Gert will be forced to do it, you know her and Chase are gonna be all over each other." She tucks Karolina's hair behind her ear, and she's about to lean back in when she hears a noise.

 

"What was that?" it's a weird rustling sound, and she'd think it was Old Lace if she didn't know for a fact that Old Lace is back at the campsite taking a nap.

 

"I don't know, but I'm sure it's fine." Karolina leans back in and kisses her worries away, the press of her lips against Nico's making everything else disappear.

 

Until she hears it again.

 

"Okay, yeah, no, I don't trust like that, we should at least head back to the campsite." She tugs Karolina's arm, and she reluctantly agrees. They head back, Karolina teasing her the whole way for being a scaredy cat, but Nico is not going to get killed by an axe murderer or some shit just because she wanted a little extra alone time. She's watched too many horror movies, she knows better.

 

"Hey, guys, I think I just heard something in the woods?" She says when they return, rubbing at her arms and forcing herself not to look back.

 

"What do you mean, you heard something? Was it an animal or like, other people?" Gert says from her spot in front of the fire, and Nico sees her shoulders tense up. Chase puts his arm around her waist almost automatically, like he wasn't even thinking about it.

 

"I don't know what it was, it was like this rustling sound?"

 

"And it freaked her the hell out, but I don't think it was that big of a deal." Karolina says, putting her hand on her arm. "Look, it was probably just a rabbit or something. It's fine, and we're leaving today or tomorrow, anyways." Right, she's right, the two of them had talked with Alex about it, and that's the plan. She doesn't need to worry. And besides, Karolina's got this look in her eyes that says _everything is going to be fine,_ and Nico makes herself believe her.

 

Gert relaxes, but Chase says, "Wait, since when are we leaving soon?"

 

"We literally talked about it this morning, dude. You were there for the conversation." Alex says, and Chase's expression clears.

 

"Oh, yeah, I might've not been paying attention to that this morning." He says, giving Gert a soft look, and her smile turns sappy. They really are unbearably cute.

 

"Yeah, so I was thinking we'd leave tomorrow morning. But if you really feel unsafe, we can leave this afternoon." Alex says to Nico, but she shakes her head.

 

"No, it's fine, I'm just being paranoid." But her fingers still dig into her arm, and her shoulders are tense.

 

"Hey," Karolina says softly, and suddenly the rest of the group is conveniently looking anywhere but at them, "stop worrying, okay, baby?" She tucks a piece of hair behind Nico's ear with a fond look in her eyes, and all of a sudden she feels calm, at peace, and certainly not worried about some dumb noise she heard out in the woods. Karolina's eyes are even bluer than usual today, and it feels like Nico is looking into tiny whirlpools.

 

"Okay, yeah, I'm fine, I'm cool, I'm good." She says, flustered, and Karolina giggles. It's the best sound in the world.

 

Later, after everyone has gone to sleep, she pulls out her journal, worn from use and stuffed with poems and old photos, and starts a new entry to her sister. Before they left, she'd just talk to Amy out loud, because she was always alone, so there was no reason to worry about anyone hearing her. But now, in a cramped group of her closest friends, she can't do that anymore. So, she writes.

 

_Dear Amy,_

 

_I know I say this in nearly every entry, but I wish you could be here to see this. It's so great that we're all friends again, even if it's so different without you._

 

_Gert and Chase got together, finally. It happened last night, on Chase's birthday, I'll tell you the full story when I weasel it out of one of them. Karolina says that my meddling is a bad habit, but she's still dating me, so who's really at fault here? I wish you could see her now, Amy, she's so different than when you knew her. We all are, really. I might be the most changed, but of course you already knew that. Karolina is so fantastic, just everything about her makes my heart melt. Did you know she grew out her hair? I don't think I told you that. It's a lot longer now, and she never has it down anymore. She says she 'likes the stability of updos', which I think is a very funny thing to say, though I didn't laugh when she said it. And her eyes are so blue, Amy, blue like a summer sky in August._

 

_I wish that I could tell you all this in person, that I could gush about Karolina to you while we paint our nails, or something. Is that foolish, that I want you back? That I'd slice a knife through time to change what happened? I don't think it's foolish._

 

_Do you remember that time Alex kissed me on Valentine's Day, and we stayed up all night talking about it? We overanalyzed the kiss for two hours and then ate chocolate and watched The Princess Diaries movies. I know you thought Chris Pine was hot, but Michael was still the one for Mia, I'm just saying._

 

_My point is, I want that right now. I want someone to go over every date with, even if me and Karolina don't go on actual dates because of the situation, but you know what I mean. I want you to be here, if only just for how much I miss talking to you. Having to throw away my phone when we first left was so hard. I'm just glad I kept the memory card, so one day, after all this is over, or at least when we get a computer, I can look at the videos of you again. And the bajillion selfies that you took when I wasn't looking. You know, I had a really outdated phone, even though I knew everything was backed up to my laptop. I just couldn't get it out of my head that you'd touched it, and that I could be carrying around something you'd held, just, every day._

 

_I love you._

 

_Signing Off,_

_Nico._

 

~~~~~

 

Molly is getting tired of sleeping all the time. That might be a paradoxical (which is a real word, shut up, Gert) thing to say, but sleeping during car rides is just so _boring._ So boring, in fact, that you know what's more interesting than sleep right now? _Shakespeare._ Yeah, Gert picked up a variety collection at Walmart, and Molly is actually _reading it._ Worse, she _likes it._ It's ridiculous, really.

 

But it's not like there's anything else to do. Nico is conked out like she always is the minute they get on the road, Karolina is doing this weird thing with her powers where she hyper-focuses it to one part of her body and keeps it like that for as long as possible, and while it's really, really cool, Molly doesn't want to interrupt her. Alex is driving, and The Happy Couple are sitting completely entranced by each other by Old Lace, who they're going to have to let out soon if they want to keep driving so she can go hunting.

 

Gert and Chase get sucked into each other so easily, it's like they don't even realize anyone else is around. The van could fly off the road in a fiery crash and they'd still just keep chattering. And they're mirroring each other again, which is cute, and all, but also _so annoying_. 

 

And you know what, she's bored. So she's snapping them out of it and making them entertain her.

 

"Okay, we're playing cards. Or making bracelets. Or something. I'm actually starting to like Shakespeare, guys, help me out here." She says to them.

 

"Shakespeare isn't that bad, though-" Gert starts, but Molly _bup bup bup_ 's her until she stops talking.

 

"Did you just _bup bup bup_ me?" Gert says, scandalized. Chase and Karolina look very, very confused.

 

“What’s a………what’s a _bup bup bup?_ ” Chase says, with a confused puppy dog kind of look on his face.

 

“It’s just a specific kind of interruption thing, that Molly knows I _hate,_ but whatever. Now I just won’t play cards with her.” Gert says huffily, crossing her arms.

 

“Ay, come on, that’s not fair, pleeeease, I’m sooooo bored,” she begs, pulling out the sad doe eyes that she knows Gert is weak for.

 

“Oh, fine. What are we playing?”

 

They play bitch to three thousand, Karolina joining in, and by the time someone (Gert) wins, Alex has decided that they’re going to stop for at least the night, though knowing them, as long as they don’t get seen, it’ll be a few days.

 

When they get there Old Lace bounds into the woods, not to be seen for hours. They set up a campfire and Molly starts on supper, which is Campbell’s corn chowder, which is the best Campbell’s soup, no matter what Karolina says about chicken noodle.

 

As they eat, they start up a round of truth or dare. Alex goes first, then Nico, who asks Chase, "Yo, Stein, truth or dare?"

 

"Truth." He and Gert are sitting too close again, so much so that they look glued together.

 

"What's one thing you know about Gert that nobody else knows? Come on, give me her secrets." Karolina nudges her, softly calling her nosy.

 

"She's got a tattoo, though I don't know where." Gert wrinkles her nose at him, but he presses a kiss to her cheek and she practically melts.

 

"I know where it is, it's-"

 

"Hey, let a girl have some secrets, Molls."

 

Okay, okay, fine. It's a really cool tattoo, though. Molly remembers the day she got it, and Gert had been unnaturally calm the whole time, then when they got to the car she'd grabbed a pillow out of the back- Gert had always had really random crap in her car- and screamed into it for a full minute.

 

They play a little longer, and the rest of the kids stay up when Molly decides to go to bed. She likes to go to bed earlier, half because Gert has lectured her about a bajillion times about young teens and the importance of a good nights sleep, and half because she keeps expecting to wake up to all of this being a dream.

 

She's almost mad at herself for feeling this way, because she knows it isn't going to happen, that this is all real. But she can't stop herself from grasping at the straws of the life she had once, the one where she had a warm bed and a hat collection and parents she thought loved her. She wants to be like the other kids, hating their parents blindly, but she just can't do it.

 

She tosses and turns for an hour or so, then finally falls asleep. Of course, not peacefully.

 

She dreams she's in her room at Graciela's, the full moon shining in through the window as she lies on top of the bed, wearing a long, silky nightgown that glitters in the moonlight. She stands and goes to the window to gaze at the moon, but then she looks down. There's a gaping hole in her chest where her heart should be, black and swirling and all encompassing. Panicking, she puts her hands on each side of it to try and close it up, but it's not working, and she watches in terror as her hands start to get sucked into the black hole, and the entire scene starts to vacuum itself towards the hole, until all that's left is Molly in a pretty dress, frantically trying to stop imploding into herself, but she can't. There's nothing she can do. The last of her gets sucked into the hole-

 

And then she wakes up.

 

She gasps for air, trying to calm down, and bizarrely, she thinks of something her sister told her once, that we wake up right before we die in dreams because our brains don't know what death feels like. She thinks she can gather enough from that dream, though. That feeling of panicked hopelessness, knowing that there's nothing she can do to fight it the way she does everything, knowing that no one can do anything to stop it. It felt like she was turning into a ghost.

 

She crawls over to Gert and pokes her a bunch of times on the cheek so she wakes up. She doesn't want to be alone right, now, okay?

 

"What, Molly?" Gert says hoarsely, curling closer to Chase until she cracks open an eye and sees her panicked expression. She sits up and scoots closer, wrapping an arm around her and asking, "What's wrong, _princesa?"_ Molly has always liked that nickname, and she suspects that's why Gert still uses it.

 

Molly sniffles and leans her head against Gert's shoulder, saying, "Bad dream. Really bad dream."

 

"What was it about, hm?" Gert's voice is soft and soothing, but Molly still doesn't feel better.

 

"It was really weird, but like, bad weird. There was this black hole in my chest and it started just sucking everything into it until all that was left was me, and then it sucked me in, too. I could feel myself dying, Gert." Her voice is watery and pitched with her leftover panic, and Gert rubs her hand up and down Molly's arm.

 

"That's awful, Molls. Do you want to take a melatonin so you can go back to sleep, or do you want me to stay up with you?" Molly likes that 'I go back to sleep, you stay up' isn't even an option for Gert. She's such a good sister.

 

"Would you stay up, please?" and Gert agrees readily. They stay like that for a while, Molly trying to relax again.

 

After a few minutes, Molly asks quietly, "Do you ever miss it?" Because she has to know if she's the only one.

 

Gert sighs deeply and says, "Sometimes. Do you?"

 

" _All_ the time." The words start to pour out of her, and she can't do anything to stop them. "I miss home, and my bed, and my stuffed animal collection, even though I have Elian, and I miss school, and hot, home-cooked meals, and I miss Stacey's hugs, and Dale's dumb jokes, and I wish I didn't, because they're bad people, really bad people, and they don't even love me, anyways-"

 

"Woah, hey, Molly." Gert wraps her in a proper hug, holding her tight. "They love you, of course they love you."

 

"They _sent_ me _away._ " Molly's eyes start to fill with tears, and she presses her face into Gert's shoulder.

 

"Yeah, they did. But they were trying to protect you, even if that was the worst possible way to do it. And they love you." Molly shakes her head into Gert's shoulder, but she just keeps on talking. "They do, and yeah, they're bad people. Really bad people. But you're allowed to miss them. They're the people who put Band-Aids on scraped knees, read you fairy tales, helped with science projects, of course you miss that part of them. It's okay if you miss home, too. We're not going to be mad at you, because I know that's what you're thinking. We're family, and not just me and you. All of us. We're all your family." Her voice is serious and reassuring, and Molly finds herself believing her.

 

~~~~~

 

Karolina wakes up earlier than everyone else, just like always. She doesn't know if she can blame it on her old routine or not being able to sleep, but it means she can get started on breakfast earlier, because she doesn't want to go off and do her yoga without taking someone with her to explore the area first, and she is not dealing with a van of morning haters today. Chase is the only other one that actually likes mornings, but that's changed since he and Gert got together, because she likes sleeping in, which means he does.

 

She starts on breakfast, trying to make the least fuck up-able thing possible, which ends up being a can of maple flavoured beans. She's extra attentive with it, because, as Gert says, most of the time Karolina can't even boil water.

 

Nico shuffles out of the van, sleep ruffled and adorable. She wraps her arms around Karolina's waist and presses her face into her back, mumbling a _good morning._

 

"Good morning, sweetie pie. Is anyone else up yet?"

 

"Nah, just us. You're chipper today."

 

"Well, I think your view is a little skewed, Miss, uh, Gothy." _Gothy?_ What the fuck is she saying?

 

Nico laughs, the sound melting her heart a little. "Gothy, huh?"

 

"Okay, so I'm not great at insults, sue me." Nico presses a kiss to the back of her shoulder, and Karolin has to force herself not to turn around and kiss her properly so breakfast doesn't catch on fire.

 

The rest of the group wakes up soon, and they eat around the fire, chattering amicably until Alex loudly declares that they need to go shopping.

 

"Alex, what the fu-" Nico pauses, glances at Molly, then starts up again, "what the hell do you mean we need to go shopping?"  
 

"I don't mean, like," Alex gestures with his fork as he talks, "going to Walmart again, or something. I mean, a seedy bodega, or whatever, I just want alcohol for New Years." Gert snorts,  and Karolina laughs behind her hand, even if she agrees. She kind of misses vodka.

 

"Yeah, that makes sense. Who's going?" Chase asks.

 

"Uh, I was thinking me, you, and Nico?" Chase's shoulders drop. "And Gert," they go back up again, like he's hoping Gert can go too, but that's not what Alex is saying, "I'll get rid of it while we're out."

 

Gert nods and smiles warmly, her fingers tapping against her mug. "Thanks, Alex."

 

Karolina lifts an eyebrow at her, but Gert just mouths _I'll tell you later._

 

They spend a couple hours just banging around the area, until Alex decides it's time to leave. She kisses Nico goodbye, making her promise to be safe, and she sees Gert doing the same with Chase a little ways away.

 

Gert, Karolina, and Molly watch the van drive away, Gert fidgeting as she keeps her eyes on it until it's out of view.

 

Karolina turns to her and asks, "So, what was Alex talking about earlier?"

 

"I just, uh," Gert pauses, as if she's trying to figure out what to say, "We're getting rid of the gun. I talked to him about it, and we both agreed it just wasn't safe, you know? Just, our group, it's. We're." She starts to get choked up, and Karolina puts a hand on her arm as she takes a deep breath. "We are probably like, the worst group of people, ever, to be around a gun all the time, just from what's happened to us and who we are as people, so. Yeah, the gun is going to be gone." She presses her lips together, then says, "Hey, do you guys wanna go explore the area today? And not, like, the way you and Nico explore the area, obviously, like actually explore the area."

 

"Uh, what do mean the way me and Nico explore the area?" She'd thought they were quite subtle, but maybe not?

 

"Oh please, we all know you two just go out there to pick a tree to make out against." Karolina chokes on air, and Molly gasps in realization.

 

_"That's_ why you guys wouldn't let me come?" They start walking into the woods, Gert tying a bandana to a tree so they know where to come back to.

 

"We just wanted some alone time, okay? Jeez." Karolina says defensively, but Molly just giggles.

 

"It's okay, if you had just told me I wouldn't have wanted to go anyways."

 

Gert snorts, and they keep walking until they come across an apple tree. At least, Karolina thinks it's an apple tree. The fruit is kind of high up.

 

Gert looks up at the tree, and says, because she's impulsive, "First one to get an apple gets the last Snickers bar." Karolina is about to take off her bracelet and fly up there when Gert says, "And no powers."

 

"Aw, come on, that's not fair." Molly groans, but Gert just shrugs and pulls herself up on a branch.

 

"Hey, no head starts!" Karolina says as she starts scrambling her way up the tree, Molly following her lead.

 

Karolina makes her way up the tree, and she's slow, but she's just quick enough to grab the apple Gert was reaching for. She pumps her arm in victory and is about to take a big bite when she notices that Gert isn't near her anymore. Not getting a hold on the apple like she'd expected must have thrown her off balance, and now she's holding on for dear life to the branch she's hanging off of.

 

"Karolina, Karolina help, I cant," Gert's fingers start slipping, and her voice is high and panicked, but Karolina feels frozen.

 

Belatedly, she reaches out an arm, but it's too late. Gert is falling. She hears Molly scream out her name, telling her to do something, but she's in shock as she watches Gert fall to the ground with a yell.

 

It's only then that it hits her that she can _fly_ , and that she should've realized that before Gert was even in danger.

 

She floats down, Molly holding onto her and shaking in fear. Karolina isn't doing much better herself.

 

She kneels down next to her, and, thank Gib, she's awake. But she's also sobbing, and her arm is twisted at a terrifying angle.

 

"Guys," she says, voice shaky, "Guys, I think my arm is broken."

 

And the scary thing is, she's definitely right. Which means Gert now has a broken arm. And it's all Karolina's fault.

 

 

 


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

Nico wishes she was asleep right now. That's what she always does when they get on the road, just conks out until they stop again, but the drive to the bodega Alex spotted last time they drove through a town is only about an hour away, and it takes Nico at least a half hour to fall asleep, so there's no use. So she's leaning her head against the window, idly watching the trees blur together from the speed. Alex always drives a bit too fast for her liking.

 

"Hey, so, I just want to tell you guys that we're getting rid of the gun." Alex's voice is apprehensive, like he thinks they're going to be upset with him, but honestly, Nico is relieved. Guns really freak her out.

 

"Good." she says, and Alex's eyebrows go up.

 

"What, that's it? Chase, you too?"

 

"You didn't see how Gert was when we got back, Alex. She was shaking like a leaf and Jesus, just seeing her cry like that...................I don't ever want her to feel that way again, and if that means getting rid of the gun, that's what it means." Chase says seriously from the back of the van. He's got a book in his hands, but it's one of Gert's prose filled monsters, so she doubts he's actually reading it.

 

"Yeah, guns just freak me out. But the psychological part is messed, too. Hey, how'd Gert convince you? 'Cause I know you wouldn't think to get rid of it on your own." Is that mean? Maybe, but she doesn't care much. Being nice to Alex really isn't at the top of her list these days.

 

"Thanks." He says sarcastically. "And she was just really persuasive, and her arguments bet every reason I had to keep it."

 

"Sounds like Gert." Chase says fondly, and Nico can tell he's smiling.

 

They park in an alley near the bodega, and when they go in Alex heads straight for the walk in cooler.

 

Nico wanders the aisles with her hood up, trying not to feel vulnerable without her makeup. She grabs a six premade sandwiches, half for them to eat on the way back and half to bring back for the girls, and a bag of Maltesers for herself, because they are chocolatey balls of deliciousness that Nico is obsessed with.

 

She meets Chase over by a basket full of CD cases that he's rooting around in, and asks, "Looking for something in particular?"

 

"I'm seeing if there's anything Gert would like in here, some ABBA or a Selena disc or whatever, I wanna bring her back something." She's getting a toothache from how sweet that is. It also gives her an idea.

 

"Oh, do you think there's a Beatles disc in there? Karolina loves them." She sticks her hand in the bin and roots around, but no dice. Chase finds an ABBA greatest hits one, though.

 

Alex meets them at the cash with a few cases of Madjacks and a bottle of Smirnoff. Chase pays, using his fake ID with his dumb fake name on it, wow, _Mason Greyback_ , could he be more of a closet _Teen Wolf_ fan?

 

They drive back, Chase and Nico singing along to ABBA to annoy Alex.

 

_"Mamma Mia, here we go again, my, my, how could I resist you,"_ She sings, wiggling her shoulders and singing into her water bottle like a microphone.

 

_"Mamma Mia, does it show again, how could I have let you go,"_  Chase sings back, and he's actually pretty decent. His voice is kind of indie-rocker, but it's clear, and there's no real edge to it.

 

"Guys, I'm trying to focus on- oh, shit." Rain starts to pour, and it doesn't occur to her why that's bad until she remembers- Karolina, Molly, and Gert are back at the campsite with absolutely no shelter. They'd packed up everything before they left as a precaution.

 

"Fuck, drive faster, Wilder, I want them out of this weather as soon as possible." Chase says, all silliness from before gone from this voice.

 

"I would, but I really don't want to get in a crash or get pulled over, both of which would be pretty high-risk situations."

 

"Stop talking like a test evaluator, just drive as fast as you can that's at a safe pace." She says grumpily, but she can't help it. She wants to get back to Karolina so she doesn't catch a cold.

 

They drive and drive, but luckily, the rain starts to slow after about a half hour. The drive back feels  impossibly longer than the drive there, and it's irritating Nico.

 

They finally, finally get back.

 

And that's when everything goes to shit.

 

~~~~~

 

Gert's mind is cloudy from pain as the van rolls back onto the campsite, and she presses her face into Molly's shoulder to block out the noise so her headache doesn't get worse. She's pretty sure she has a concussion, but it's not like she can do anything about it besides having her glasses off, making everything blurry.

 

She makes sure not to move her arm as she squints at the shapes coming out of the van, but it doesn't hurt any less as she forces herself to sit up, and she swallows a sob. Molly did her best with half remembered first aid courses and the few bandanas they had lying around, but it's definitely not a quality sling.

 

''Woah, what happened? Oh my god, your arm," a scared voice says, and she's pretty sure it's Nico.

 

"Wait, what about her arm- fuck, Gert." That's Chase. She'd recognize his voice anywhere.

 

"She fell from a tree, and it was at a really bad angle, so we're pretty sure it's broken." Molly says, and Chase comes and sits down beside her. She turns toward him, and even blurry and through the immense pain, he's beautiful.

 

"Hey, baby," he says softly, "do you want to show me?"

 

"Yeah, okay," she whispers, voice hoarse from crying.

 

She feels his fingers fumble with the knot at the back of her neck, and his other hand goes gently to her elbow. When the fabric falls, she hears him make a choked noise at the sight of her arm, which is basically just one big bruise. She hears Alex curse, and Nico blowing out a breath.

 

"Okay, it, fuck, I know it looks bad," she blurrily sees him pull on his goggles, "and I'm betting it hurts like a bitch, but it's a clean break. As long as we splint it, it should heal properly." Chase says, and his voice is carefully level.

 

She nods, then lets out a hiss from the pain, and her other hand goes to her forehead, stupidly trying to press the pain back.

 

"Shit, do you have a concussion?" Chase asks, and she makes a squeaking noise that could probably be interpreted as a yes in some languages.

 

"This day just gets better and better," he mumbles, and she laughs softly.

 

"Okay, I wanna get you to the van so you have a place to rest once I splint it, can you stand?" His voice is still so soft, like he's afraid speaking any louder is going to make her brain burst, but to be honest that's probably what it would feel like, so she's grateful.

 

She stands, and the rush of blood to her head makes her cry out in pain and almost fall over, but Chase catches her.

 

"Okay, so that's not going to work. Molly, would you help carry her?" She feels Molly scoop her up, being careful of her arm, and from there to when she's set down in the van feels like a blur.

 

She hears Chase rooting around for something, and what she thinks is Molly asking, "What are you looking for?"

 

"When we went to...............day I picked up.........arm brace............we needed it." His words buzz in and out like static, but Gert thinks she gets the gist.

 

She feels Chase settle next to her, and she leans into him. She could really go for a nap right now, to be honest.

 

"Woah, hey, no sleeping." Chase says, gently shaking her good shoulder to keep her awake. She whines, but he just shakes his head and says, "You've got a concussion, you can't go to sleep. Here, take this," He says, putting a Tylenol in her hand and handing a bottle of water to Molly. Molly tips Gert's head back carefully and puts the bottle of water to her mouth, Gert takes a sip, then swallows the pill with it.

 

Chase gently takes her bad arm in his hands, taking a rod, or something, Gert can't really see it that well, and placing it

next to her arm as he ties a bandana around it. He's still wearing the goggles, and without her glasses they look like big bug eyes. It's kind of funny, and she'd laugh if she wasn't in so much pain. He wraps the brace over the splint, and she hears the sound of Velcro as he presses down the straps.

 

"That's about all I can do, we can't give her anything stronger for the pain until the concussion is gone. And she can't fall asleep, again because of the concussion. How'd this happen, anyway? Like, full story." Chase wraps a careful arm around her waist, and she rests her pounding head against his chest.

 

"I was being a dumbass and tried to climb a tree because I wanted an apple, and I made it a competition, again, because I'm stupid-"

 

"You're not stupid, you're just impulsive. And it's not even your fault, anyways, Karolina's the one who didn't do anything until it was too late." Molly says, her voice quiet but still raging.

 

"Wait, what?"

 

"Yeah, she apparently totally blanked on the fact that she can _fly_ when I was about to fall from twenty feet above ground." It's not that Gert is mad, or anything, because it's her fault for even going up there in the first place, but she's kind of mad.

 

"Can I fight her?" Chase says, and Gert knows he's only joking, but she still flicks his chest with her good hand.

 

"No, don't. She feels bad enough. She's apologized about three hundred times in the past two hours." It kind of made her headache worse, actually, just the constant repeat of _I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry._

 

"Hey, I should probably test how bad your concussion is, will you sit up? It'll only take a second." She sits up, and he makes her follow his pointer finger passing in front of her face with her eyes.

 

"Okay, that's pretty fine, now basic questions to test memory retention, um, okay, what state are we in right now?"

 

"California."

 

"How old are you?"

 

"Seventeen."

 

"What is your place of birth?"

 

"San Francisco."

 

"Wait, really?" He turns to Molly, who nods.

 

"Before I was adopted, yeah. Next question?" She's staring to feel more alert and less sluggish, even if her head is still pounding.

 

"What is the name of the current U.S. President?"

 

"Ugh, are you gonna make me say it?" Molly snorts, and Chase laughs softly.

 

"Okay, I think you're good. You're gonna have a pretty awful headache for a while, and I want you to stay awake for a few more hours just to be careful, but I don't think there'll be any lasting damage."

 

"Sounds good to me." She says, leaning back against him. "Where'd you learn all this stuff, anyways?"

 

He rubs a hand up and down her back and says, "Oh, you know, just an amalgamation of Boy Scouts, team sports, and first aid training." She laughs a little at his word choice. She gets what Molly meant when she told her a while ago that they're starting to merge into one person.

 

_"Amalgamation._ You're starting to sound like me."

 

"No one I'd rather sound like."  
 

"You're so sweet."

 

"Okay, this is getting kind of sappy, and I feel like I should go do damage control, so I'll leave you alone. Chase, you'll take care of her, right?" And it almost sounds like a double entendre, like she's asking him something else, too.

 

"Yeah, of course I will."

 

She curls closer and says, "If I wasn't in so much pain right now," she pauses to yawn, then continues, "I'd probably say something about not needing to be taken care of."

 

"And then I'd say something about that being part of a relationship, taking care of each other, and you wouldn't admit I'm right because you never do, but you'd stop arguing."

 

"I admit you're right about some things." She feels very drowsy, and Chase is so warm and sturdy, she wishes she could just fall asleep.

 

"Oh, yeah?" He says, amused. "Like what?"

 

"Uh, your Avril Lavigne clone theory is not one of them, because I know that's what you're thinking." They stayed up talking when she couldn't sleep a few nights ago, and turns out her boyfriend is totally a conspiracy theorist. She traces designs into his chest idly, little hearts and stars and suns.

 

"I'm just saying that she definitely got replaced, I mean, if you just look at the little things she's totally different."

 

"Okay, baby, I believe you." The pet name slips out before she can stop it, but she finds she likes the sound of it. So does Chase, apparently, from the way he lets out a little heartsick hum.

 

Stupidly, she tries to move her arm, and she hisses in pain. "Ow, fuck, I'm so stupid."

 

"You're not, though. When I broke my arm the first time I kept trying to, like, gesture, and it hurts like hell every time."

 

"Great, so looking forward to that. And I am stupid, I did this to myself because I wanted a fucking apple, is that not stupid?" She looks up at him, and he's got that concerned look in his eyes.

 

"You shouldn't say that type of stuff, Gert."

 

"What do you mean?" She's pretending she doesn't know what he's talking about, because she really doesn't want to go into her Deep Seated Insecurities with a concussion and a just broken arm.

 

"I mean that you're not stupid, like, at all, and just because you made what in retrospect was a bad choice doesn't mean you should place all the blame on your own shoulders."

 

"Yeah, I guess. Hey, will you read to me, or something?" Wow, what a smooth subject change. "I really don't want to fall asleep." She yawns for emphasis, and he nods.

 

"Okay, we have a total of like, three books, what do you want me to read?" He says, amused.

 

"I think I picked up Les Mis when we went to Walmart."

 

"Sounds like you," He says, with that stupid smile on his face that means he's trying to hide that he's laughing at her.

 

"Hey, don't be rude. Anyways, it's like," she yawns, "right over there."

 

Chase grabs it and opens it one handed, squinting a bit in the dim lighting, then starts to read. _"Chapter one, M. Muriel. In 1815, M. Charles-Francois-Bienvenu Myriel was Bishop of D. He was an old man of ab_ _out seventy-five years of age; he had occupied the see of D since 1806........."_ Chase has a good storytelling voice, not too over the top, slow and smooth. She likes his voice just in general, actually.

 

After a while, she starts to fall asleep, and Chase taps her cheek to keep her awake. "Hey, come on, you need to stay up."

 

"Yeah, I know. Sorry." But she's yawning. It's really hard to stay awake when all she wants to do is go to sleep and not wake up until everything stops hurting.

 

"Hey, guess what I bought for you today."

 

"What did you buy?"

 

"An ABBA disc. Rooted around in the bin forever for it, too." That's so nice and thoughtful, especially since she's only said once or twice how much she loves ABBA, but he must have been paying attention. The thought kind of makes her heart melt. She tilts her face up and kisses him softly, her good hand on his cheek. It's a slow kind of kiss, warm and sweet.

 

She pulls back with a smile and he asks happily, "What was that for?"

 

"For thinking of me."

 

~~~~~

 

Karolina has never felt this guilty in her entire life, and she can't say it's a good feeling.

 

She sits at the fire, twiddling her thumbs as she watches the flames, resolutely blocking out how hard Molly is glaring right now. Nico is sitting on Karolina's other side, trying to get her attention, but the heavy weight of guilt in her chest is making her fade in and out, too sucked into her own head.

 

She just feels so awful. One of her friends is hurt, and it's because of _her_.

 

"You know, I don't think she's _that_ mad." Nico says, rubbing a hand up her back, but Karolina shakes her head.

 

"Nico, I'm the reason her arm is broken. And she has a concussion. Just look at the way Molly is acting, of course Gert would be upset with me too." She says dejectedly.

 

Nico leans in and whispers, "Can I tell you a secret?" Karolina nods, and Nico cups both hand around her ear so she can whisper, "Molly is an over protective fourteen year old who's older sister just got hurt. She is not the basis of reactions to Gert's injury. Seriously, just go talk to her. She'll probably be more mad if you avoid her." She's right, Karolina knows she's right. The only time Karolina has ever seen Gert dance around anything was the mess with Chase, and that's dealt with now.

 

She sighs, standing up and reluctantly making her way to the van, where Gert and Chase have been for the past hour or so. Gert might be asleep, but probably not, because Chase is over protective and Karolina read somewhere that you shouldn't sleep for a while after a concussion, and Chase's jock brain probably knows a thing or two about concussions.

 

She knocks at the van door, and when there's no explicit protest, slides it open carefully. She finds Chase reading quietly to Gert, who looks like she might be asleep. "Hey, is she asleep?" she whispers to Chase, who's eyebrows go up.

 

"She better not be. You're not, right?" His voice takes on a worried tone as he nudges her, and her eyes flutter open.

 

"I was just resting my eyes, or whatever. But no, I'm not asleep." Her voice is groggy, though, and half her face is still pressed into Chase's chest.

 

"Well, if you're not asleep, can I talk to you? It's, um, it's important." She still has a grip on the door, tapping her fingers against it.

 

Gert sits up and must see something in Karolina's eyes, because she says, "No, yeah, totally. Chase," she says, turning to him, "I think this is probably going to be more of a......." she trail off, gesturing between herself and Karolina with her good hand as she does so, "would you be a doll and go make sure Molly's calmed down?"

 

"Yeah, yeah, I can do that." He kisses her shortly, then pulls away as gently as he can and clambers out of the van.

 

Karolina climbs in and sits where he just got up, maybe a little farther away, though, the two of them were pretty much stuck together with Gorilla Glue.

 

Karolina blows out a breath,  trying to avoid having this conversation, but Gert is not having it. "Okay, Karo, get on with it, seriously."

 

She sighs and digs her nails into her palm as she says, "I feel awful that this happened to you because of me, and I want you to know that there was no malicious intent, and that I really was just in shock, and-" her voice starts to get high and watery, no matter how much she tries to supress it, and Gert puts her good hand on Karolina's arm.

 

"Hey, calm down, it's okay." She says quietly.

 

"But it's not, you're hurt, and it's my fault, and-"

 

"Karolina. Chill out. Is it kind of your fault? Yes. But it's also kind of my fault. And the tree's fault. And the apples fault. And about a bajillion other things. Okay?"

 

She nods, then says, "I get it if you're mad. I'm not saying you can't be. I'm just making sure that you know that it wasn't on purpose, okay? It was totally fluke, and I froze up, and I am so, so sorry." She turns to look at her, and Gert looks just about as teary as she's sure she does.

 

"Oh, Karo," Gert scoots closer, wrapping her good arm around Karolina's waist, "don't cry. Besides, you're too pretty to stay mad at." Karolina giggles, and wipes at her eyes.

 

"I really am sorry, you know."

 

"Oh, really? I couldn't tell." Gert says sarcastically, and they both laugh. It feels settled, like the guilt has almost drained out of her, and when they all eventually go to bed (barring Gert and Chase, who wants her to stay up just a bit longer. Gert looks annoyed at this, but complies) she sleeps easy.

 

~~~~~

 

When Chase wakes up the next morning, his arms are empty, and he's cold. Freezing, actually. Is this what it's like to sleep alone? He's gotten so used to sleeping with Gert every night (not like that, shut _up_ , brain) that waking up without her feels unnatural. And what is she doing up, anyways? She's _injured_.

 

He sits up, grabbing a sweater because again, freezing, and grabs his jeans to pull on as he quietly gets out of the van. He tugs them on, pulling up the zipper and doing the button, then slides the door shut again, as carefully as possible. He turns around and sees his girlfriend trying to make breakfast with one hand and the leftovers of a concussion with a dinosaur continuously distracting her. And, listen, most of the time Gert is the smartest girl he knows, but _come on_.

 

He ambles over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing a kiss to her shoulder. 

 

She giggles a little and says, “Good morning.” 

 

“Good morning. So, is it just me or weren’t you told that you should be resting? Not fumbling your way through making breakfast?” She’s trying to make pancakes, which is turning out as well as you’d expect.

 

“I’m not fumbling!”

 

“You’re a little fumbling, babe. Come on, you don’t need to be doing this, you, like, just broke your arm.”

 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be useful! I can do stuff one handed, you know.” She says defiantly, as the pan catches on fire. He snatches it and grabs the half empty water bottle she’d used to make the mix, pouring it over the pan. He looks back to Gert, who’s eyes are wide as dinner plates, and gives her a look asking if she’s sure, absolutely sure, she can make breakfast. She sighs.

 

“Fine, okay.” She flicks off the burner, mumbling about wasting a good match, and leans back against him. “I’m just trying to be useful.”

 

“Baby,” he says, pressing a soft kiss to her neck, and she hums, “the most useful you are to anyone is when you’re healing and resting, not making your injury worse.”

 

She sighs and says, “Yeah, I know, I just hate being hindered by- hey, don’t laugh at my word choice.” She says poutily, and he smiles bright.

 

"I can't help it. You're just so you, you know? Like, I don't know anyone else who would say that." His voice sounds unbearably fond, even to him.

 

"I can't tell if that's a compliment or not."

 

He presses a kiss to her jaw, and says quietly, "Definitely a compliment." It comes out more intimate than he'd planned, and Gert shivers.

 

"If you guys are doing couple shit right now I don't want to see it! Separate for the sake of my innocent eyes!" Alex says as he steps out of the van, backwards. Gert steps away from him, leaving a good six inches of space between them, and suddenly Chase has an urge to physically fight Alex.

 

Gert lets out a little sigh and goes to cross her arms, then seems to remember what she's doing and hisses in pain. Chase puts a hand on her back to steady her, and she smiles at him warmly. It makes him feel lit up from the inside.

 

"Hey, Gertie Guts, how're you feeling?" Oh my God, Alex is about to get his ass kicked. Gert _hates_ that nickname.

 

"Alex, I will kill you with no remorse." Gert says darkly, and Alex takes a step back to ensure his safety.

 

"What do you mean, Gertie Guts?" Alex teases, and Gert rushes at him with a yell. Chase holds her back just in time, wrapping an arm around her waist tightly as she struggles.

 

"Chase, come on, he _has_ to die." Old Lace raises her head, as if the mention of murder woke her up. That bodes great for the rest of them!

 

"Or, you could find a better way to exact revenge, later, and Alex can go through today without getting his throat slit." Gert struggles again, trying to wrestle out of his grip as Alex slowly backs away, and okay, this calls for drastic measures.

 

Chase scoops her up in a bridal carry, and she stops struggling in surprise. "Chase."

 

"Gert."

 

"Chase."

 

"Gert."

 

"We get it, you both have names. I'm gonna go look for firewood, be back later!" Oh, good call. Gert can't kill him if she can't find him.

 

Gert sighs in disgust, then drops her head against his shoulder. "One of these days, I will fight him."

 

"With what? Your one good hand and yelling?" He readjusts his grip, but doesn't really move.

 

"Yes. Also, I might just sic Old Lace on him." Yeah, sure. Gert always threatens to do that, but she never actually does.

 

He hums, not really agreeing or disagreeing, and she says quietly, "By the way, the fact that you can just pick me up is definitely hot and you're free to do it anytime you wish." She's blushing as she says it, and her fingers tap against his chest.

 

"Oh?" His voice cracks, and she bites her lip. _Fuck_.

 

"Are we playing the strength game? Chase, you're gonna lose!" Molly says as she comes barreling out of the van. She runs towards Old Lace and scoops her up, her eyes going golden as she lifts the dinosaur like she's an empty cardboard box. This, of course, makes Old Lace roar in surprise, which Chase can just tell wakes everyone else up. He loves Molly, but damn her and her cheeriness in the mornings. They were having a _moment._

 

"Molls, put my dinosaur down!" Gert says, and Molly sets Old Lace down, screwing her nose up at Gert.

 

"Hey," Gert says to him, patting his chest, "Would you put me down? I wanna change out of my pyjamas."

 

"You need help?" He says as he puts her down as carefully as possible. He is definitely not alluding to anything, nuh-uh.

 

She snorts. "Nice try, Boy Scout." Fuck, sound the alarm, he's been caught.

 

"What? No, that's not what I- I mean, I just-" She raises her eyebrows and waits him out, seeing if he can come up with anything.

 

"Okay, Chase, totally, I believe you." Her eyes clearly say she doesn't as she pats his arm, and she lets out a little laugh as she goes to change.

 

He swings his arms and blows out a breath as he watches her go, then turns to his Fistigons, right on the fold up table where he (stupidly, that really wasn't a good decision on his part) left them last night. He's been trying to adjust them properly since they left, making the stream of flames more directed and the blowback less throw-you-across-the-room.

 

He sets up against a tree a ways away from the campsite, mostly out of sight, the Fistigons on top of a very large book that probably belongs to his girlfriend for balance.

 

He kind of stops paying attention to everything around him as he works on them, tweaking adapters and screwing bolts tighter and fixing wires. He could probably do this shit for hours, it's just so interesting to him. It's like the one thing that he could do any time, anywhere, and he's glad he's found something like that, because he knows it's hard sometimes to find something you're really and truly interested in, but this is His Thing.

 

Gert sits down next to him with her copy of Les Miserables that they started reading yesterday, not really saying anything, just opening her book one handed and starting to read. It's nice, doing separate things together. Like, Gert could be reading literally anywhere, but she decided to come sit with him.

 

Probably because they're dating, and everything, but still.

 

He finds himself distracted by her, every few minutes glancing at her, making sure she doesn't notice. She looks good today- well, Gert always looks good. She's wearing a dark skirt with her favourite flannel and a tank top, and her hair is fluffy and curly as usual. Chase always wants to run his fingers through it. She's got her socks pulled up to her knees again, and her boots are only kind of tied properly.

 

After a while, she snaps closed the book and asks, gesturing to the Fistigons with her good hand, "So what are you trying to do here?"

 

"Well, I'm trying to get the fire to be more streamlined and fix the blowback problem, because I'm kind of tired of being thrown ten feet whenever I try to use them," she laughs at that, and Chase feels kind of proud of himself, "so what I'm doing is........" He goes into a long over complicated explanation that would make even Alex's eyes glaze over, but Gert doesn't look bored. She looks completely attentive, like she's actually hearing every word he's saying, and for someone that's spent the majority of the last two years in a group of people where his role was to be vapid and attractive, it feels really, really great.

 

When he finishes, she squeezes his arm. "That is like, ridiculously cool." She wrinkles her nose and says, "You know, I could never get a handle on science in school. Everything else went great, but science I just couldn't get the hang of."

 

"If this was three weeks ago, I'd have probably offered to tutor you in science just so we could be alone together," he admits, and she huffs out a laugh. Chase loves her laugh, but then again, he also loves her smile and her voice and a thousand other little things. He's not _in love_ with her, not yet, but it feels like an inevitability.

 

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have shown up as payback for- oh, fucking shit, ow, that hurts." She starts breathing through the pain as she tries to keep her bad arm completely still, and Chase puts a hand on her back to soothe her.

 

"Okay, I've got you, just keep breathing," he says softly, trying to help in the only way he can. He moves his hand up and down her back, and she lets out a little whimper from the pain. Fuck, he hates seeing her like this.

 

He keeps doing his best to comfort her while the pain, presumably, becomes more manageable, and she leans into him, her hair tickling his nose. The Fistigons lay all but forgotten at his side.

 

"I'm trying to pretend that it doesn't hurt as much as it does, but fuck, this is awful." She breathes, and he presses a kiss to the top of her head. He knows how she feels. Whenever his father gave him a new bruise, Chase always did his best to ignore the pain, no matter how hard it was. He didn't want anyone to know, didn't want anyone to ask questions, and it's not like the people he was around cared all that much anyways. He doesn't want Gert to ever feel like she has to put on a show for him, or any of them, for that matter.

 

"You don't have to, you know. Pretend, that is. We're here for you, I'm here for you. You don't have to act like everything is fine when you're in pain." He wraps his arms around her carefully, speaking into her hair.

 

"Yeah, Chase, okay." She scoots closer to him, throwing her legs over his and resting her head against his chest. It's quiet for a while, until she says, "I feel like I should tell you something. It's not a bender or whatever, don't worry, but I just don't like keeping things from you."

 

"Okay, go ahead." He'd be worried, but Gert would never keep something huge from him. She's not fantastic with secrets.

 

She takes a deep breath, steeling herself, and says, "I lied before. I did know my mom. She's not just a name on a piece of paper. I was adopted when I was two or three, so I don't remember her all that well, but I do remember that she knit, which is why I picked up that stuff? At Walmart? I wanted to, um, feel closer to her. I know, it's stupid, I-"

 

"It's not stupid, baby," he interrupts, "I get it." And he does. If he was adopted, he would definitely want to feel connected to his birth parents, especially with their situation. He strokes her hair as he talks, running his fingers through her purple curls.

 

She hums and says, "You can keep doing that. Feels nice." Gert often just tell him when she likes what he's doing, preferring straightforward compliments over the little hums of satisfaction he leans towards. He likes to think it's one of the differences that make them so good together.

 

Because that's the thing, right? He and Gert are not very similar, like, at all, and they've only been dating for a hot minute, but being with her feels like the most natural thing in the world. It's like everything's brighter when she's around, even on his worst days.

 

"What are you thinking about, hm? You look all pensive." _Pensive._ Another quintessentially Gert word.

 

"I'm thinking about how great you are." The words slip out of him by accident, probably due to how honest Gert has been making him feel, lately. One day he's going to open his mouth and all his secrets will pour out, just because she asked.

 

"Oh. You're really great, too, you know." Gert, he's found, is sometimes uncomfortable having the compliment spotlight pointed at her unless she feels like it's warranted. "You're all smart, and kind, and handsome." He blushes, his cheeks going red as raspberries.

 

"Well, if I'm handsome, then you're a fucking knockout." He doesn't expect her to suck in a breath and look up at him like he's crazy, because she must know, right? How beautiful she is?

 

"You don't have to bullshit for the sake of a compliment, Chase." Her eyes are hard, and her voice sounds.......hurt.

 

"I'm not, though?" But he can tell she doesn't believe him.

 

"Look, I know I'm not the prettiest girl out there, or whatever, but it kind of hurts my feelings that you're messing with me like this." She won't make eye contact as she tries to stand, but Chase pulls her back onto his lap, making sure she's looking at him.

 

"Gert, I'm not messing with you." Her face screws up, but he cups her jaw as he continues, saying, "You're literally the most beautiful girl like, ever, _I'm not messing with you_. Everything about you is gorgeous, from your light-up-a-room smile to the shots of gold in your eyes, to the way you laugh, and how soft your hair is, and your voice, I love your voice, Gert, and how your noise scrunches up sometimes, and- _mph!"_ Gert surges forward and kisses him, hard, like she's trying to translate how that made her feel through the press of her lips against his. Her good hand goes to the back of his neck, her fingers twisting gently into his hair to pull him closer. He slips his tongue into her mouth, and she lets out a little moan. It's probably the best thing he's ever heard.

 

She starts moving in his lap to throw her leg around his waist, her lips never leaving his, and then, _holy fuck_ , she's _straddling_ him. His hands go to her waist, gripping her gently, and she starts to pull at the hem of his hoodie, trying to get him to take it off. He pulls back, just for a second, to tug it off as quickly as possible, taking off his shirt while he's at it, then he comes back to her again, pressing his mouth against hers as her fingers scrabble against his bare chest. And the fact that he's the only one shirtless here, well, that's just not fair, is it, so he starts to ever so gently slide her flannel down her shoulders. His hands trail down her arms as he helps her take it off, making sure she doesn't hurt herself by trying to just tug it off like he can tell she wants to. Her hand goes back to his chest, and she starts to kiss her way down his neck, stopping at his earlobe and nipping at it. He lets out a breathy moan, so she does it again, then moves just below his ear and starts _sucking_. It is, quite possibly, one of the best things to ever happen to him, just under him and Gert getting together and having sex with Gert. Weird how they all involve her, huh? His fingers dig into her hips as Gert bites down, just a little, then runs her tongue over the spot as if to sooth it.

 

"You know," she says hoarsely, the puff of air against wet skin setting off something in the pit of his stomach, "you could do something with your hands, right?"

 

"You sure?" Because he has to check. He doesn't want to cross any lines that will push her away from him.

 

"Baby," she breathes, and oh, does he love the sound of that, "you've seen me naked, I think I can handle your hands on my ass." Okay, that is so not what he needs right now, being reminded that they've had sex, because, you see, Chase is trying very, very hard not to get a boner.

 

He slides his hands down carefully, and she kisses him again, moaning into his mouth as he squeezes lightly. He has to stop himself from moving his hands under her skirt, keeping them over the thin fabric instead, because he doesn't want to push too hard.

 

She pulls back from him, just a little, and asks, voice pitched, "Help me with my shirt?" He's already nodding, sliding his hands to her waist again and tugging up on the tank top gently. His fingers ghost across her bra as he pulls it up, and Gert sucks in a breath. He pulls the shirt over her head and out of her arms, and suddenly nothing else in the world is real except Gert Yorkes sitting in his lap, wearing nothing but a neon green bra, and yep, he's got a boner now. Whoops.

 

He lets out a shaky breath and licks his lips, and Gert says, amused, "Your pupils are so dilated right now that I can only see, like, a ring of hazel." Her voice is breathy as she runs her thumb across his cheekbone, and he smiles.

 

"Yeah, well, it might have something to do with my super hot girlfriend sitting in my lap with no top on, just maybe."

 

"Just maybe, huh?" She teases.

 

"Just maybe." he leans in and presses a kiss to her neck, and she hums in pleasure.

 

"Hey, you know how you've been-" she pauses to let out a giggle keen as he ghosts his fingers up her bare side, so he keeps doing it, and her fingers dig into his chest as she continues, "You know how you've been annoying about wanting to see my tattoo?" He wouldn't call it annoying, but yeah, okay, he's asked about seven or eight times. In the past four days. So he kind of understands what she means.

 

"Yeah, possibly. Why? You gonna show it to me?" He can't stop smiling, and she runs her thumb over his dimple.

 

"Hmm, I don't know......." She teases, and when he pouts dramatically, she giggles and says, "Okay, okay."

 

She pulls up on the waistband of her skirt, then pushes up the bottom of her skirt to reveal a tattoo on her hipbone in small dark writing.  It's written in cursive, and split down the middle, one side in English and the other in Spanish.

 

**_In love you have               En el amor como_ **

**_loosened yourself            agua de mar te has_ **

**_like seawater: I can        desatado: mido_ **

**_scarcely measure the    apenas los ojos mas_ **

**_sky's most spacious       extensos del cielo y_ **

**_eyes and I lean down    me inclino a tu_ **

**_to your mouth to            boca para besar la_ **

**_kiss the earth.                 tierra._ **

 

He brushes his fingers against it without realizing, and Gert shivers. "That's Pablo Neruda, right?"

 

Chase probably shouldn't know who that is, based on, like, everything about him, but he's kind of into poetry. Don't tell anyone, though. Back home- not home. Back where he used to live, he had a small collection at the bottom of his bookshelf, and he liked to read through them sometimes, when he felt sad or alone.

 

"You know who Pablo Neruda is?" Gert looks confused but pleased, and it makes his heart feel warm. 

 

"Hey," he jokes, "I can be cultured!"

 

"That is _not_ what I was saying."

 

"Are you sure?" He asks, pressing a kiss to her neck, "Because I don't think you're sure." He kisses his way down her neck, stopping at her collarbone and sucking lightly, and she lets out a breathy moan. He trails his hand up her side, running his fingers against the bottom of her bra, and asks, "This is okay, right?"

 

She smiles, kissing him shortly and nodding. He slides his hand up oh so carefully, and she kisses him again, this time more passionately. He squeezes lightly, testing for her reaction, and when she moans into his mouth he does it again, a bit harder this time. These sounds she's making really aren't helping him get rid of his boner, but he doesn't really care.

 

And then everything is _ruined._

 

"Yo, lovebirds, lunch is ready!" Nico's voice is far away, but still loud. Lunch, though? Damn, they've been out here a long time.

 

Gert pulls away from him with a wet _pop!_ And she looks surprised, almost, like she'd forgotten anyone else was around. And then she looks down.

 

She laughs, just a little, and asks, "So what are you gonna do about that, huh?"

 

He helps her put her shirt back on, and they walk back together holding hands.

 

"Hey, so, how obvious is it that we were just making out?" Gert asks quietly, and he looks her over. Her lips are swollen, she's got about three different hickeys, and her hair is a mess. He smoothes his hand over her hair, and she leans into his touch.

 

"Pretty obvious, honey."

 

She smiles sweetly, ducking her head and saying, " _Honey_. I like that."

 

When they get back, he sets the Fistigons down and grabs two bowls of soup for him and Gert, then realizes Karolina is looking at him with a look that can only be called scandalized.

 

"Did you guys have sex in the woods?" She says, voice strangled, and Chase chokes on air. He hears Gert make a similar sound from behind him.

 

"No, uh, no, why would you think that?"

 

"Because you guys were out there for a good two hours, Gert looks infinitely more relaxed, and, don't be surprised, you look like you just fucked." Nico says, and Molly elbows her. Good Molly.

 

"Well, we didn't. Also, get your witch nose out of my business, Minoru." Gert says, and she sounds far more composed than he is as she takes the bowl out of his hands and sits down.

 

"Yeah, that!" Chase says, sitting down next to her and nodding more than is necessary.

 

Alex snorts, and Gert sticks her tongue out at him.

 

Lunch is later than he thought it was, and a few hours later it starts to get dark. And that's when Alex breaks out the alcohol.

 

Molly and Gert don't drink, though he can tell Gert really wants to, but the rest of them are making sure she doesn't, because drinking + concussion can go really bad, really quick. Plus, she's on antibiotics, and alcohol and medicine don't mix very well.

 

"Hey, so, what was with Karo's reaction to the very idea that Chase and Gert had sex?" Alex asks. It's clear that the two beers he's had are starting to shine through.

 

"It's the heavily religious upbringing." Gert say bluntly, and Chase snorts. She's leaning her head on his shoulder, not because she's tired, though, she's said so herself. Honestly, Chase would expect her to be tired, from what's happened to her as of late, but she just looks relaxed. It's a good look for her.

 

"No, it's not!" Karolina squawks, and they all laugh. Everything is funny when Chase has a little alcohol in him. Well, not everything.

 

He looks down at Gert, at the way her skin seems to glow in the firelight, and how soft her hair is, and his heart feels warm.

 

"What?" Gert asks softly, looking up at him.

 

"Nothing," he says, tucking a fallen piece of hair behind her ear, "you just look really beautiful right now." She blushes so hard it's visible even in the firelight, and she looks like she's about to say something, but Alex interrupts her.

 

"Can you guys stop being all cute and shit, let me be single in peace."

 

"Rot in loneliness, Alex, I'm in a happy relationship and I'm gonna be sappy as I want about it, thanks." Gert says, and Alex sticks out his tongue at her.

 

"Okay, I'm using 'rot in loneliness' as my go-to insult for the next three years, thanks, Gert," Nico says, and Karolina laughs like it's the funniest thing she's ever heard.

 

"Hey, can I have a sip of that?" Gert asks, and he raises an eyebrow at her.

 

"You really shouldn't be drinking, Gert."

 

"One sip of your 5% alcohol content Madjack isn't going to kill me, Chase." He hands it over, and she takes a sip from it, then hands it back.

 

"I just worry about you, especially with what's happened, and stuff. Sorry, I know it can be annoying."

 

"It's not annoying, Chase. Nothing about you annoys me, okay? But........I can take care of myself. You know that, right?" She's close, so close he can see the fire reflecting in her eyes. It makes her look otherworldly, like everything about her is golden and it's just peaking through now, an hour before the New Year. He nods, and she lets out a small sigh of relief.

 

"Guys." Nico says, and they both turn towards her. "I totally get the whole young love thing, but y'all need to tone it down, or take a walk, or something. We're drinking, here. Not being all lovey dovey. Pick one." Nico is kind of a mean drunk, and she's very blunt, especially under the effects of the vodka she's been sharing with Karolina. The moment Alex brought out the alcohol, she'd snagged it, refusing to share with anyone but her girlfriend.

 

He and Gert look at each other and shrug, and Gert says, "We're gonna take a walk. Molly, as the only other sober person here, please make sure our friends don't do something stupid." Molly, who's using Old Lace as a foot rest, looks up from her book and nods, then dives back in. She's so smart. All his friends are so smart.

 

He finishes off his second Madjack, Gert grabs a radio and a lantern, telling Old Lace to stay with Molly, and they walk into the woods together, hand in hand. Hey, Into The Woods. He went to see that movie with Gert once.

 

He starts singing it under his breath, _"Into the woods to da da da, da da da, da da da da, Into the woods-"_

 

"Chase. Are you singing Into The Woods right now?" Gert says, amused. He watches their hands swing between them, entwined tightly.

 

"Maybe?" Gert laughs and ducks her head, and suddenly he's overwhelmed by how much he likes her. He feels so warm inside whenever he's around her, like his heart is a hot pocket and she is a microwave. Okay, he might be a bit drunker that he thought.

 

"You are _such_ a lightweight."

 

"Uh, that is offensive! I am not a lightweight."

 

"Except that you are."

 

"Are not."

 

"Are to, lightweight." She starts poking him in the chest as she repeats the word, "Lightweight lightweight lightweight lightweight- _mph!_ " He cups her face in his hands and kisses her quiet, and her fingers curl into his shirt as she kisses back. He pulls her closer, sliding his hands under her shirt as they make their way up her back, and that's when she separates from him.

 

"Chase," she says regretfully, "you're not _sound of mind_ or whatever right now. I don't wanna like, take advantage of you or something." He snorts, but nods.

 

"I can still hold your hand though, right?" She laughs. It's the best sound in the world.

 

"Yeah, Chase, of course." She sticks out her hand as they start walking again, and he grabs it, twining their fingers together.

 

"I like that you say my name all the time." He admits. "It feels more intimate, or something. Is that stupid?"

 

She looks at him, and her eyes are soft. "No, I don't think it is."

 

"Hey, I don't think I told you exp-explic-  wait. Ex-plic-it-ly. I don't think I told you _explicitly_ earlier, but I really like your tattoo." She swings their hands as he talks, smiling that gorgeous smile of hers. As soon as they started walking, he'd taken the lantern and the radio from her and clipped them to his belt. He probably looks ultra lame, but they're small, so it's not that big of a deal, and soft country music is playing from the radio.

 

"Thanks, Chase." They walk in silence for a while, just enjoying each others company until Gert asks, "Do you ever get annoyed with yourself for being too nice?"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

She pauses, and her lips purse up as she decides what to say. "So I forgave Karolina, yesterday, you know, for her whole part in-" she lets go of his hand to gesture to her other arm, then grabs it again, twisting their fingers together, "even though I'm still kind of upset with her. And as I should be, you know, but I just can't bring myself to be the cause of tension within the group, because I'm always, constantly thinking, is this the straw that breaks the camel's back? Is this going to be what splits us up for good? And I know how that'd go, too, Nico and Karolina splitting off, then me, you, and Molly, and Alex would be all alone, and how could I live with myself knowing I did that to somebody? Fuck, I never realized holding grudges and being petty was a luxury before." He nods, but she keeps going. "There are so many things I never realized were luxuries before we left, like, a warm bed, not having to care about things, like, before if someone was upset with me, I didn't have to care because I could just ignore it, but I can't do that anymore, and the thing where suddenly everyone goes to me for advice, like, what's up with that? I'm a fucking mess, but I can't just be that anymore, because people are counting on me. No one used to do that, except maybe Molly, and speaking of Molly, do you ever worry about how this is gonna effect her? She's so young, and she has to deal with all this? Talk about childhood trauma, and-"  
 

"Babe," he stops her, putting both hands on her shoulders, "you're spiraling."

 

She sighs and moves closer, resting her head against his chest. ""Yeah, probably. Sorry. I know it can be, um, aggravating, when I do that. I just can't help it sometimes. Sorry, again." One of these days, he's going to find the person who taught her she had to apologize for her emotions and hurt them Badly.

 

"You don't ever have to be sorry." He wraps his arms around her waist. "I'm not trying to stop you, I just know where it can lead." He holds her there while she calms down, letting her breathing slow. He's not going to mention it tonight, but Chase really, really thinks they should find a way to get her her meds.

 

"Hey, um," she says, muffled against his chest, almost like she's scared to say it, "I know this kind of contradicts what happened today, you know, earlier, but...............I don't think I want to have sex again until we find a place to stay, and get settled, and stuff. I just don't want to have sex for the second time _ever_ in the middle of the woods somewhere, you know?"

 

"No, I get it. It'd be the second time for me too, and, uh, I'd kind of prefer a bed next time, if you know what I mean."

 

Gert looks up at him, surprised. "I was your-? But you said, I mean, you _implied_ that- hm. I'm gonna stop stuttering my way through this now. You agree, that's what's important." She nods to herself, then rests her head back against his chest.

 

He runs his fingers through her hair absently for a while, until she pulls back to look at him and says, "Wait. I just realized something. That day we found out about Old Lace, you said 'trust me, I'd know' about whether there was a naked girl in the basement.................You hadn't actually seen a naked girl. So you were literally talking about porn." OKAY, CAN SHE CHANGE THE SUBJECT NOW, PLEASE.

 

He lets out a squeak that could probably be interpreted as a yes, and Gert cracks up.

 

"Stop laughing at me..........." he whines, but that just makes her laugh harder.

 

"Okay, but baby, you realize how funny that is, right?" She fiddles with the strings of his sweatshirt as she talks, and he has to admit, that, just maybe, it's a little funny.

 

"I mean. Objectively, yes, but I still don't want you to make fun of me."

 

She laughs again, ducking her head, then reaches up and presses a kiss to his cheek.

 

"What was that for?" He asks happily.

 

"Nothing in particular," she says, and her eyes are warm. "I just wanted to."

 

The radio changes to a song he's loved practically forever, _Such Great Heights_ by Iron and Wine, and he says, "Hey, I love this song."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Yeah, it's really nice. Do you want to dance, maybe?"

 

Her eyes are soft as she agrees, and he takes her good hand in his and pulls her to him, swaying to the music. She rests her head on his shoulder as they sway, and maybe it's the dim lighting, or how warm Gert is, but this is the most calm he's felt in a long time.

 

"You know, I never thought this would work out, you and me." Gert admits quietly.

 

"Really? Why?"

 

"I don't know. Neither of us was making a move, and there’s that thing where you're like, way out of my league, and everything, so-"  
 

"Gert," he interrupts. Why does she keep saying stuff like that? She's so beautiful, and amazing, and intelligent, he doesn't get it. "If anyone's out of anyone's league here, it's me. You're like, the best girl in the whole world, you know that?"

 

She looks up at him, and her eyes are wide and filled with warmth. She kisses him softly, and it feels like she's trying to say something with it, but his brain is kind of fuzzy, so he can't figure out what.

 

She pulls back, resting her head back against his shoulder and whispering "Thank you."

 

"Any time."

 

He hears the radio announce that it's five minutes to midnight, and he says quietly, "You know that thing that people say, about how the person you're with when the clock strikes twelve is the person you'll spend the year with?" Gert nods, and he continues, "Well, I'm glad that I'm with you, is all I'm saying."

 

She looks up at him, and says, "Me too, Chase. No one I'd rather be with."

 

He presses a kiss to her cheek and teases, "Really? Not even, like, Frida Kahlo? Come on, I know how much you idolize her." When they were about thirteen, Gert watched the film about her life, and consequently became obsessed with her forever.

 

"Nope. Still you." He blushes, but she can't see it in the dim light. She looks up at the stars, bright and twinkling, and says, "Wow. They're really beautiful tonight, huh?"

 

"You know what else is beautiful?"

 

"This is totally going to be a line, but I'll bite. What else is beautiful, Chase?"

 

"You." She giggles, ducking her head and mumbling how she knew that's what he would say.

 

The radio starts to count down, _ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one,_ and when they shout _ZERO,_ he leans down and kisses her softly. It feels like everything he's ever wanted, kissing her under the stars with the promise of so much more to come.

 

They walk back a little later hand in hand, and when they return everyone but Molly is more than a little tipsy. There are hugs and resolutions and dramatic declarations of how much they all love each other shared, and they end the night by closing everything up and turning in. And with Gert in his arms, and his family around him, he feels at peace.

 

~~~~~

 

Alex decides they should leave that afternoon, mostly because this area is almost starting to feel safe to him, and a false sense of security is so not what they need right now.

 

The girls and Old Lace all curl up in the back, and he and Chase sit up front, him driving and Chase working on his Fistigons. It feels uneasy.

 

He and Chase don't have the greatest relationship, okay? They're just totally different people, even if they have a lot of the same interests. Chase put it best, when he said, _'And now we make fun of kids like you.'_ He was right. They may have been friends before, but after the split it feels like there's a weird layer under every conversation they have.

 

"You know, if you want, you could go back and sleep with Gert," he says when Chase yawns, trying to fill the silence.

 

"Nah, I'm trying to get this finished. I'm trying to fix the blowback problem, but nothing's working. And besides, I'm too keyed up to sleep."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I don't know, I just feel really overwhelmingly happy? I think it's the whole new year thing."

 

"And you and Gert finally getting together after, what, eight years?"

 

".......................That too."

 

The van falls silent again, save for Old Lace's snoring, and Alex turns on the radio to replace the need for conversation he feels rattling around in his bones. He feels antsy.

 

_"Happy New Year from us at Wired! And now some not so happy news from the wife of Victor Stein, owner of NEMO and tech mogul. In a recent interview, after being asked to report on her husband's health, she told Wired that due to the news of their son's apparent hand in the murder of Destiny Gonzalez and the kidnapping of fourteen year old Molly Hernandez, his condition has steadily_ **_worsened,_ ** _and she is unsure of his ability to recover-"_

 

Alex comes back to himself and shuts off the radio as Chase starts hyperventilating, and he thinks he sees tears gathering at the corners of his eyes.

 

"Woah, okay, calm down, it's okay, shhh," Alex says, carefully patting his back. He does not know what to do in this situation.

 

"It's not _okay_ , Wilder, my father is _dying!"_  
 

"Yeah, but isn't he, like, a really shitty person?" Oh, wrong thing to say. Chase is full on crying, now, tears streaming down his face. Alex pulls over on the side of the road, cars honking at him as he does so, but he doesn't care.

 

"I know, I know he's a shitty person, that's what makes this worse! He literally beat me up at least once a week for my entire childhood, and now that he's dying I, what, suddenly care? Fuck, I hate this." And _oh_. He never knew about Chase's father before, but looking back on how Mr. Stein treated Chase when there were other people around, being an abusive shitface makes sense.

 

"He's your father, of course you care," Alex says, repeating Gert's words because she is _so_ much better at this then him, "even if he is a mega douchenozzle." That makes Chase laugh a little, and it seems like, maybe, he's calming down.

 

"Do you want me to get Gert? It kind of seems like you need one of her hugs." She gives, like, the most comforting hugs ever.

 

"I don't really want to bother her with this." Chase wipes at his eyes, and his shoulders shake.

 

"Dude, she's literally your girlfriend, I don't think she'll mind." He's still got a hand on Chase's back, rubbing up and down awkwardly.

 

"No, she just said last night that she doesn't-"

 

"What's going on?" Gert's voice asks groggily from the back. "Why are we stopped?" He sees her sit up through the rear view mirror, running a hand through her hair.

 

"Uh, nothing, Gert, go back to sleep." But Chase's voice is watery as he says it, and Alex can tell that Gert doesn't believe him.

 

She stands, stepping over a sleeping Molly to lean over the seat, trying to get Chase to look at her. "Chase? Honey, what's wrong?" Wow. Alex didn't know Gert's voice could go that soft. She tries to put her hand on Chase's shoulder, but he flinches.

 

"I.......It's nothing, Gert. I'm, um, I'm fine."

 

"Alex, what happened?" Gert asks quietly.

 

He sighs and says, "I turned on the radio and they were talking about his dad.......and how his condition is getting worse."

 

"Dude!"

 

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Hey, do you want to get out of the car for me?" Seriously, did Gert get replaced by a bodysnatcher?

 

Chase nods and opens the door, hopping out, and Gert climbs into the passenger seat to follow him, telling Alex, "Don't worry, I've got this."

 

He can't see them, but he can hear them faintly through the open window.

 

"I really shouldn't be bothering you with this, I'm sorry, I-"

 

"Hey, shhh, what are you talking about? Why would you be sorry?"

 

"I'm talking about how you said you didn't like comforting people, and like, I get it, I do, which is why I didn't want to _worry_ you with this, you've got enough to worry about-"

 

"Chase. That is not what I was saying. I was saying that it is sometimes stressful to have people rely on me, and that does _not_ apply to you. We're dating. We're supposed to rely on each other." Alex has a feeling he should probably be tuning this out right now, but his dumb drama loving brain isn't letting him focus on anything else. "And yeah, I do have a lot of things to worry about, but that shouldn't make you feel like you can't come to me, and I am so sorry that I made you feel that way." Alex's rom-com loving ass is _so_ billeting for an _I love you_ right now, but it doesn't come. It strikes him that Gert and Chase could be the stars of any one of his favourite rom-coms and he'd probably watch it over and over again. Also, he know that romantic comedies probably aren't the most manly thing in the world for him to be watching, but they make him happy.

 

They keep talking, but it's quieter, and easier for him to tune out, now that he's closed his eyes and is projecting When* _Harry met Sally_ onto the backs of his eyelids.

 

A little later, Chase climbs back in the van, Gert getting in the back and lying down again. Chase something cheesy about not letting the bedbugs bite, and Gert laughs softly, then seems to fall asleep.

 

"So are you, uh, better now?" He starts the car again and turns back onto the road, cringing as he asks it, because that is possibly the most fucking awkward way to ask that, Jesus Christ.

 

"I think so, yeah. I'm sorry for kind of freaking out on you back there." Chase picks up his Fistigons again, tweaking a wire.

 

"No, no, I get it. Our parents are bad people, but it's hard to let them go and see them for what they really are when you're thinking about, like, Band-Aids on scraped knees and them helping you with your homework. Letting go is hard." He keeps his eyes focused on the road so he doesn't get emotional.

 

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Hey, Wilder, I'm really tired of this weird tension we've got." Chase says, out of the blue. "Do you think we could stop fighting over dumb bullshit and agree to be friends?"

 

He sticks out a hand, and Alex takes a hand off the wheel to shake it. "Yeah," he says, smiling, "I think I'd like that."

 

~~~~~

 

Molly is finally, finally exploring.

 

Every time they stop in a new area, someone else jumps the gun first, but this time the minute the van stopped and they jumped out, she ran for the trees, yelling, "I'm exploring the area, be back in an hour!"

 

Gert had sent Old Lace to accompany her, because her sister is nothing but overprotective, but she loves her prehistoric best friend more than she loves herself, probably, so it's okay.

 

She runs through the woods at top speed, the adrenalin keeping her from getting tired, and Old Lace keeps up, seeming to enjoy having a running buddy. She runs so fast that the trees start to blur, and all she feels is joy, joy, joy-

 

**_"FUCK!"_**  She yells as she trips over something, flying through the air, then rolling once, twice, three times in the dirt before stopping.

 

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" She says, rubbing at her shoulder as she sits up, Old Lace nudging her and making distressed noises.

 

She stands, limping over to see what she tripped on, and huh. That's weird. "What the..........." She says to herself, kicking at what appears to be........a front step? Like, to an actual house.

 

She looks to the pile of boulders in front of her, investigating the cracks in between them, and in the dark she sees bright red paint. Okay, what is going on?

 

She swings her arms to prepare herself, then takes big steps towards two of the boulders, fitting her hands between them and splitting them. And, woah.

 

The house seems to be pretty big from what she can see, hidden by the ginormous boulders, and, weirdly enough, it seems to be in good condition?

 

"Old Lace, follow me," she says, cautiously opening the door. It creaks, but otherwise nothing jumps out at her. She steps inside, expecting rot and grossness, but there's............nothing. The walls are painted a cheery blue, and the floor is stone tile. There's a few empty frames hanging on the walls, almost like someone was moving in and hadn't totally set up yet. It's kind of dark, but she can still see from her flashlight and the sun shining in. She keeps walking, turning into the living room, which has a big couch and a recliner already set up, the coffee table piled with a few brittle magazines. She looks closer, and they date back at least twenty years. The furniture is dusty, but when she sits on the couch cautiously it doesn't break under her. She leaves that room, heading down the hallway until she reaches a kitchen, with a fridge and oven and cupboards and everything. It all looks super old, but definitely still usable one Chase and Alex get their hands on them. She runs a hand over the counter, a thick layer of dust coming off on her fingers. She opens the fridge, oven, and every cupboard, looking for signs of rot or dead animals, and other than a few spots of mold, it looks miraculously fine. It's like the whole house was just put on pause. Her best theory is that someone had the whole house set up, but there was an earthquake? Maybe? that's what it seems like.

 

She turns down a hallway of six doors, and when she checks the first four they're bedrooms, and, okay, the mattresses are a little gross, but nothing a thorough cleaning won't fix, and each room has a little night table and lamp. She checks the fifth door, and, holy crap, it's a bathroom! It's a really ugly bathroom, the walls painted a garish colour, but there's a shower! With grime and mold and everything, but nothing Mr. Clean can't fix! The toilet is kind of gross, though, and she'll have to get Alex to check if it actually works, but it could! The next room is a linen closet of sorts, filled with blankets and towels that smell like mothballs.

 

Only when she and Old Lace are making their way back through the house does she truly realize: Molly has found them a permanent place to stay! No more sleeping out of a van!

 

When she leaves, she pushes the boulders back together with a grunt and starts running back to the campsite, her excitement making the small pain in her leg fade completely.

 

"GUYS, GUESS WHAT!" She yells as she tumbles back onto the campsite. Nothing is really set up yet, which is good, seeing as their about to move all their stuff into their NEW HOUSE!

 

"What's up, Molls?" Gert asks, looking concerned as she helps Molly up.

 

"I found us a house!"

 

Everyone starts talking at once, all of them excited, confused, and wary. They're so loud that Molly can't hear herself think.

 

"Guys, shut up!" She yells, and they're mouths all snap shut. Even Old Lace is quiet. "Everyone is going to get in the van and follow me, so I can show you what I'm talking about." They all quickly agree and hop into the van, Chase at the wheel driving as slow as humanly possible to keep pace with her. When they reach the boulders, she stops, holding out her hands, and they all get out.

 

"Fuck, that is huge." Alex says in awe, and Karolina elbows him for cursing.

 

"Yeah, and watch this," Molly steps in front of the boulders once again, slipping her hands in the cracks and splitting them wide apart. "We have a house now."

 

Everyone gasps audibly, and she hears Nico say, "Holy shit."

 

"Yeah, so, I was just looking around and I tripped over that front step, there, see," She says, pointing to it, then ushering the others to step closer as she opens the door, "and when I saw what was near it, I was like, 'why not check this out', you know, so I split the boulders, and there's this house." Gert is the first to walk through the door, Chase and then the others close behind, and Molly lets Old Lace in before stepping inside and closing the door behind her. "And so I looked over everything, and it's kind of dirty, but no dead things! And there's a bathroom that isn't totally disgusting! Chase and Alex are probably going to have to do some nerd crap to get the water pressure and oven an fridge working again, but I really think that we can live here."

 

The rest of them are quiet as they look around the house in a pack, and she waits for them with Old Lace in the living room, picking at one of the magazines.

 

Gert and Chase return first, hand in hand, and Gert says, "Okay, it's going to take some serious cleaning, but holy shit, Molls, I think you've found us a permanent place to stay."

 

The rest of them come back soon after, raving about how they've finally got a roof over their heads, and even Alex, who Molly would expect to focus on every little problem, looks excited.

 

They spend the rest of the evening unpacking the overstuffed van and finding a hidden place for the van, which is easy enough. She pushes the boulders closed from the inside, and then they get to work. Her and Gert pack up the cabinets, singing along to music on the radio, while Chase gets started on the appliances and Nico and Karolina fit the beds with the musty blankets from the linen closet. Alex figures out the water situation, somehow, and it kind of seems like it's running on hopes and dreams, but it works!

 

They all split to their rooms for the night, Gert and Chase and Nico and Karolina sharing, the six of them promising to do more cleaning and go out to buy lightbulbs and other things in the coming days.

 

Molly flops down on her bed, clutching Elian to her chest as she wraps herself in a blanket.

 

She's home.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> wow, you finished it, heres a fake cookie
> 
> real talk though, thanks for reading! title is from Carly Rae Jepsen's 'Run Away With Me' because I think I'm funny


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